rate_review Reviews

George died? AWWWW! I love George. He is my favorite Weasley. (Well, , Ch, Charlie is actually.)
Write more soon.

Oh thank goodness I was so worryed. Silly I know, its just a story but still. Please let her get better! I like the mages, will they help heal her?

I will now begin sobbing in earnest!! First Megan, George, now our beloved Harry...Severus almost taking his own life...and you go travelling? (LOL, sorry, I couldn\'t even keep that or lor long on paper! Have a lovely trip, and don\'t mind us poor folks waiting here...)

Don\'t be too hard on yourself about your writing. It\'s something all of us do. That\'s why we don\'t get paid the big bucks like JKR! I look at \"Darkness\" vs. \"Child\" and I cringe at how much less detail there is in the first story. I admire how much time you take to flesh out the details of a chapter. It would be too easy to rush this to a conclusion. You pace the chapters well, and really keep your readers interested!

Take care,
Maggie

Bringing in other earth mages was a clever move. Firstly it wasn

Rapun no no you can\'t do this to me. (Yes it is all about me) Harry can\'t die!
I am glad that there is hope for Megan. I had hope when she sank into the earth. Since the earth healed her.

Oh please don\'t kill Harry. PLEASE! Pretty please with sugar on top.

Write more soon.

1 nice forshadowing I think I can guess nice start I think the part in the garden is written better than the second part at the uncles, although I could not quite tell you why I thdink maybe a little too much about the family taking great care of her I once read in great writting you never use two words where one could do and you never use any adjectives that are not needed. I am not a writter but I am a prolific reader and I find this maxim fits the better books. This is my second time reading you storyl. The first time I skiped a lot because I skimmed eager to see what was going to happen. I skip most of the stories here because they are not very complex (which totally bores me) but I think yours is great! Several plot lines deffinately makes the whole story better and gives you room to look at the same sitation from points of view from people that are at several ages. I am so glad you did not go the Herminie way: I think that is totally out of character with the original story! I believe you fit the \"new\" character in nicely. I do think she might be a little too goody two shoes. Please let her have a few bad days or unkind thoughts even if she is sorry for them aftewards. Every one has times when the think things like; \" I really love him to hear him talk, but right now I wish he would just shut up.\". She might be having a bad day and point out a students weakness in an uncomplementary way; althoush she might apologize later. The biggest problem with this story is I don\'t want it to end.

I am picky and bitchy, I know, but I think your story is too good to use bad grammer. \"but\" ia a coordingting coctioction and it is a pet peeve of english teachers when people use it at the start of a sentence. It is used to join sentence + sentence It would be grammatically more correct to say Harry and his friends\' skills however had grown. The order had become .... A long sentence demands a comma before and after the \"but\". Do not go by my posts because in my off time I feel free to be as grammatically and spellingly as incorrect as I feel like it. Moma says Do as I say not as I do.

Did you do two chapteres at once? Anyway- great battle scene, I am totally blown away.

But all I can say is NOOOOOOOOOO! Not a tragic romance! NOOOOOOOOOO! You can\'t have a killign suicide. No No no.

I want a happy ending. Too bad Sev didn\'t kill Malfoy. Also I do like my Malfoys evil so I am glad that you kept them in character.

Some neat things you did onthe battle field such as athe mandrakes.

You did a good Bellatrix too.

I really hope this ism\'t the last o In Need. I thought you might do somethign like kill them both. But if you don\'t have a happy ending at least you can have an angsty funeral(s).

Oh My God! I did not see this coming and I did not think this would be a story that made me cry! Please let her be alright - I so want them to be happy. Please let poor Hagrid be alright too, I always liked him. I like your story so much, but this part was just so sad!

This is short because I just spent three and a half hours reading your story instead of the 10 minute skim I usually end up doing with the stories I look up here. I think that says it all when it comes to how well I think your storywritwritten. If I was not so tired I would write more, and will try to come back soon with more specifics of why I think your story is so well written and absorbing. Please keep it up, as I love reading and I have trouble finding things that do keep my attention. It is three fourty five and I started reading at 12:00 with a few time outs for this and that. So now I must go to sleep but in a very contented mood. Ellen