rate_review Reviews

I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?

I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?

Hey. I hope you feel better soon. If you need to talk or vent email me. im here. ill listen. i know what your going thru. Aly

I just wanted you to know that I have just finished reading your story thus far and am enjoying it immensely. However I must say that I understand the need to take some personal time. In life our first priority must be ourselves. You shouldn

I really like your story. It\'s very interesting and captivating. I hope that you do continue in the future. I also hope that you can safely get through what you\'re going through. Depression is tough because everything seems so bleak-- believe me I know. A good thing to do is to write about what you\'re feeling: even if you don\'t want to because it will help to sort through your feelings; It may seem hard at first, but it will help in the long run. I hope that you can make it through because even if it doesn\'t seem like it, there are things to be alive for... now, when I figure those things out I\'ll let you know. ^_^

Bueno suerto y ten cuidado,

Ciao!

Though I\'m almost postitive that Ive said this already (where is my mind) You are having these personal issues, and you worry about your readers?! Goodness girl! Forget about us. Take care of yourself! You are worth far more than your stories! Its better for you to be happy and healthy. Take care of yourself.

Laerai

You\'ve got all this going on, and you\'re worried about us fanfic people?! Aww babe, you need to just take care of yourself. That\'s more important right now. Make sure you are okay.

Hey hon...im soo sorry your not feeling the best...i know how that is...ive got all thats tuff u listed to...i hope u feel good enough to write soon:P Im looking forward to the rest fo your stroy i love it:P

Catherine

Sweetheart...if you ever need to talk, let me know. I would be glad to talk to you. I have some major depression issues as well. No mutilation.....near suicide bu not the other. I\'ll help any way I can...just let me know. Ok? Take care.

HI! Great story so far. Just want to point out a couple of things. You should get to know your punctuation a bit better. Some of Snape\'s comments don\'t have quite the right impact when his tirade becomes a run on sentence. For example, at Hermoine\'s first detention she says, \"Who says there will be a next time?\", and as Snape\'s reply you have written , \"You just did another detention I think is in order on Saturday all day in the dungeons with me.\"

To make more of an impact, I believe the the punctuation ought to be as follows; \"You just did. Another detention I think is in order, on Saturday, all day, in the dungeons with me.\" (Unless someone else has a better idea) Try saying the sentence out loud yourself to get the feel of where the punctuation would be the most effective. Comma\'s are great for those little dramatic pauses.

The other thing you might want to consider is writing the story, laying it aside for a week, then rereading it. I know I sound like the typical English teacher (but I\'m not), but it will help to catch the incorrect verb tenses or the occasional occurence when it is clear that you changed the direction of your thought in the middle of a sentence.

But over all. It\'s a pretty good y. y. But then I\'m addicted to SS/HG ships....