schedule
August 26, 2003 at 12:00 AM
First off I would like to say, though I am only at the second chapter, the story is quite good.
Secondly I would like to point out a couple of grammatical points.
The use of \'except\'. You have used it twice in the same paragrwherwhere the proper word to use is \'accept\'.
\'Except\' means to exclude from a general statement. condition, etc.
\'Accept\' means to consent to receive, give an affirmative answer, regard favourably, believe, receive, be prepared to subscribe to (a belief, philosophy, etc), receive as suitable, tolerate, submit to, be willing to beleive, undertake, agree to meet.
(I know, the diffinition of except was easy for me to paraphase & accept wasn\'t. You get the idea though.)
The other grammar point highlights that you are probably american. How can I tell? You used the spelling \'mom\'.
The british version of that word is \'mum\'.
I know it may not make much difference to some people which spelling - mom or mum - is used but I have a well defined idea of the difference between how \'mom\' is said & how \'mum\' is said. \'Mom\' is a more drawn-out word, \'mum\' is short & sharp.
\'Mum\' is also authenticly british. Using in fanfiction, though you nay be american, will give british-set stories such as Harry Potter fics a true british feel.
(Also, if for any reason you ever write an australian character (NOT BLOODY STEVE ERWIN THOUGH!) remember they use \'mum\' as well. I\'m australian, I should know.)
You may not wish to go searching for the spots w the these mistakes are located to change them but I am telling you in future writing you can utilize correct usage of these words.
Secondly I would like to point out a couple of grammatical points.
The use of \'except\'. You have used it twice in the same paragrwherwhere the proper word to use is \'accept\'.
\'Except\' means to exclude from a general statement. condition, etc.
\'Accept\' means to consent to receive, give an affirmative answer, regard favourably, believe, receive, be prepared to subscribe to (a belief, philosophy, etc), receive as suitable, tolerate, submit to, be willing to beleive, undertake, agree to meet.
(I know, the diffinition of except was easy for me to paraphase & accept wasn\'t. You get the idea though.)
The other grammar point highlights that you are probably american. How can I tell? You used the spelling \'mom\'.
The british version of that word is \'mum\'.
I know it may not make much difference to some people which spelling - mom or mum - is used but I have a well defined idea of the difference between how \'mom\' is said & how \'mum\' is said. \'Mom\' is a more drawn-out word, \'mum\' is short & sharp.
\'Mum\' is also authenticly british. Using in fanfiction, though you nay be american, will give british-set stories such as Harry Potter fics a true british feel.
(Also, if for any reason you ever write an australian character (NOT BLOODY STEVE ERWIN THOUGH!) remember they use \'mum\' as well. I\'m australian, I should know.)
You may not wish to go searching for the spots w the these mistakes are located to change them but I am telling you in future writing you can utilize correct usage of these words.
schedule
August 26, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Well things are off to a good start between Draco & Harry, pity Ron is a beligerent, grudge-holding prat.
I\'m interested to know how Draco\'s breaking the news of his destined mate to his father will go.
*Is listening to \'Of Wolf & Man\' by Metallica & thinking about Remus Lupin*
I\'m interested to know how Draco\'s breaking the news of his destined mate to his father will go.
*Is listening to \'Of Wolf & Man\' by Metallica & thinking about Remus Lupin*
schedule
August 26, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Great story. I love the veela theme. Keep up the great work. I\'m checking daily for updates. I can\'t wait till the next one.
LadyTess
LadyTess
schedule
August 25, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Add more, please! I wanna see what happens. ;)
schedule
August 23, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Alright...uh...I\'m not really any good at writing reviews. All I know is that I\'m starting to like this fic and I can\'t wait to read more. I apologize if I don\'t review every chapter...but I\'ll try and do my ^_^ ^_^ Ja!
schedule
August 23, 2003 at 12:00 AM
This is one of the better veela stories I\'ve read. I look forward to future chapters.
schedule
August 23, 2003 at 12:00 AM
good story
schedule
August 23, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Harry is confused,Draco is nice.Heheh.Please continue.Thumbs up.
schedule
August 23, 2003 at 12:00 AM
You have an excellent start here, I really can\'t wait to see more, it\'s a unique twist to the Veela!Draco Mate!Harry story line. Keep up the great work and update again soon!!!
schedule
August 19, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Hey I loved the plot! I can\'t wait to see Malfoys reaction. Please update soon!!