schedule
January 6, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Ron/??? So who was the girl?
schedule
August 1, 2003 at 12:00 AM
i think you might want to say who these charactors are because now it\'s kinda confusing, and why are they so depressed? mabey add a little more background. right now it sounds like a poem, was that the intent? if you want it to be more story-like, then you need to add more detail, and explain a little more. you\'d make a great poet by the way...
schedule
July 30, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Who is this story about?? I have no constructive criticism, save for the fact that, when you write a story, I think you should at least *mention* who it\'s about.
schedule
July 30, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Alright, I thought the story poignant and bittersweet. I liked the ambiguity of the characters. I had trouble reading it as it seemed to run together (I have a thing about sturcture) If you want a more constructive review I am afriad I am not the righrsonrson for this but I do think the gist was very creative.