AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for What A Man Really Wants

by SexyMochaSpice

person mi
schedule November 3, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Nice. But please put under HHr cathegory. It's easier to find.
person m,
schedule July 19, 2004 at 12:00 AM
can i just say that was just really bad. i mean i know that that was a pwp but it was just bad , do everyone a faver and don\'t write anymore trust me u can do it you are really really crap. i mean why has no one in this fic have any real feeling. please man kind and NEVER WRITE AGAIN. ok hope that was helpful. bye know
person Anon
schedule July 27, 2003 at 12:00 AM
emm needs a little work but otherwise ok :)
person mariteri
schedule July 27, 2003 at 12:00 AM
It was a good story idea, but your transitions need work. The flow of the story leaves the reader (in this case me) lost when you go from one short snippet to another. Keep up the writing. with time and practice I\'m sure you\'ll work it out. Good luck.