AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for Come Out Of Your Shell

by SSprincess

person Unknown
schedule January 4, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Awwww... Poor Hermione... Please update
person Fiery Slut
schedule July 18, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Your plot is gripping so please write MORE. This is pretty well written except for some wrong spelling so hope you
person Fiery Slut
schedule July 17, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Your plot is gripping so please write MORE. This is pretty well written except for some wrong spelling so hope you
person Theladyfeylene
schedule July 12, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Okay, here we go. The story concept is good. The story itself needs a bit of polishing. I\'d reccomend getting a beta to look it over in depth. The things that jumped out at me were some minor grammer mistakes (common misuse of interjections and connection words) and characterisaztion. *Generally* the characterization is in the right ballpark, you just need to tweak things a little bit, mainly in the dialogue. The dialogue reads ratherppilppily, and is disjointed at points, and word choice sometimes seems rushed. But overall, you have a good working idea here.

I\'d be happy to take an in dpeth look over and offer specific suggestions, if you\'d like. :-)