rate_review Reviews

i\'ve been rereading your story and it\'s a nice refresher on your thrilling epic. i\'ve finally gotten to the chapter that really sticks out in my mind being \'wrong\': \'Nott\'s Castle\'. when i first read it, harry tackled denise and from what i remember, pretty much forced himself on her. with your rewrite, at least he waits until he gets back to the hall of justice. while it\'s a bit better in that he doesn\'t so much as rape her, but harry still treats her like property. sure denise is moving from an evil master to hero, but she\'s still being treated like property. she isn\'t given a choice in the matter. i think that was my main objection before and sadly, it wasn\'t really changed. i don\'t expect you to change it again just for me though lol. it\'s your story and i just don\'t agree with this kind of aspect in the tale. let\'s face it, you can\'t please everyone and you shouldn\'t even try. this is your story and your world and you can do whatever you want. i know i haven\'t pleased everyone with my stories hehe. but i also think hearing other people\'s opinions, good or bad, is beneficial. it may help you out with something else. your story is all about action with some hot sex thrown in. i just think that you threw in the sex without really developing it. the sex has just been rather gratuitus, meaning if you took it out it wouldn\'t affect the overall story at all. the scenes with harry and hermione, or harry and ginny have been the most special because there is a relationship behind them. they come from somewhere. there was development and emotions attached to them instead of it just being lust. from my rereading, i can see a development between hermione and webster too, so that\'s good considering they\'re supposed to love each other too. just something to keep in mind, having sex in stories is good and all, but to really connect with the characters and be able to \'get into\' the scene, it might help to have some emotional attachment to the union. instead of having people just jump at each other, have them flirt, tease, seduce and generally fall in love. it will make your sex scenes all the more hotter and give them more meaning.

Yay! anther chapter. Post again soon.

WHY HAVEN\'T YOU POSTED IN THE LAST TO DAYS?

What, no sex! Come on. Harry and Hermy!!

it\'s not over till...the fat lady sings?

I\'ve read several of the stories on this site, but yours is one of the first I really wanted to review.
You write very well. I see excellent grammar, varied sentence structure, no typos, and natural dialog. This was delightful to read.
I\'m glad I stumbled accross it.

Your story is getting exciting, (chapter 5.)

It\'s so nice to get involved in a story and have no distractions while reading.

fucking awsome need more email me with updates ASAP. as good if not better than the books!!!!! you should try to get in touch with J. K. Rowling with your ideas i am verry pleased. i want more more isay more

I read this story last time it was written and was a fan of it but thought that changes could be made to make it better or at least better fit the storyline. While im not a Harry/Hermione fan and actually am an ardent Harry/Ginny fan i still liked your last story. However I think that if Harry gives the ring to Ginny like he did last time then he should end up with Ginny as thier souls would be bound and be soul mates. This does not mean that he cant have a child with Hermione like he did with the security guard (Deborah?) last time. I think little changes like that would make the story much better.

sweet, i can read the story alll over again - changed the scenes up quite nicely