CH12 Well that was an unexpected ending. Ye Gods, poor Hermione! And poor Severus too. Your line that he looked like someone who wanted to cry but had no more tears, and that he'd realised no one would come to save him were very moving. SP
OMG girl. You're killing me. How much pain and suffering should this man go through? Please, just heal with some love. And the chapter was great by the way, as always.
Over here I think it is ears burning - in my country that means that someone is talking bad things about you, hiccups are just mentioning (cultural differences are interesting!)
like a true Slytherin - now, now, no insults. I'm a proud Ravenclaw (living with Slytherin may have some effect ) ;)
Comments/likes:
Ok to reduce the length of my commenting, I love entire first part! Good insight into her mental state, shift but also her emotions. Deducting points was brilliant. And Luna is perfect!!!
Just blowing off some steam? Demonstrating that he hadn’t lost his potency? Issuing a warning . . . to her perhaps? Or was this actually an attempt, in his own fucked up way, to communicate? Was this, in fact, his cry for help? - all of the above? And maybe even more, I wouldn't go far enough to say adrenaline addiction but it does sound like he does need it, physical exhaustion and that adrenaline rush to get him high.
His back was to her and his long arms were propped, outstretched against the mantelpiece. Hanging between his sagging shoulders was his dark head, bowed in what looked like exhaustion. - fantastic! Sometimes emotional pain is physically unbearable.
friendship - this made me laugh, of what friendship she talks about? They are way beyond even friends with benefits! And I see that he agrees with me :D
“Don’t you trust me? I’ve told no one about what you’ve done to me . . . what you’ve made me do. And I won’t. I just needed to know that there was more. That you weren’t just a dark hearted bastard. That you weren’t simply motivated by spite . . . by the desire for retribution. I wanted to know that I could . . . affect you . . . as you’ve affected me. That I don’t . . . disgust you.” - bloody brilliant! This is maybe one of the weirdest and best declarations of love :D
Hmmmm, and now we come to a conundrum, did he pushed her too far, or did he pushed both of them too far? I can't imagine that he planned to do that to himself (then again I can't lose the site of who is writing this story ;D). Or maybe he didn't count on her response.
Weren’t the scars enough?/the weight of it crushing her - oh, honey!, why are you doing that to him, what did he ever do to you? Btw, still not dark Snape, maybe the story line went darker by the notch, this is just badly tormented Snape, you make us feel for him even more ;)
visage of desolation, a type of stale shock - fantastic, insightful description
“No you won’t,” he responded. “You’ll give it.” - ugh, now I'm on the verge of tears!!! *cringe* Don't get me wrong I'm all for floggers but...not like that...not like this. Now, there is a point where one can argue whether he needs extreme pain to feel, at all!, or is he just acting out of the self-destructive motives, or he does need a physical pain to shut down the emotional one. Either way... ok...no...no words strong enough to describe how I feel about that.
Waiting patiently for your next chapter :*
I hope you are well and happy.
All the love&Kisses&Hugs from my overheated (this summer is inhumanely hot!) part of the world <3 xx
"feeling her mood sinking with the sensation of him slowly leaking out of her."--Oh gods! I love this description. So tactile and yet so heartbreaking.
"a man of two masters, both now operating internally"--Fuck! This was excellent. Should I be getting a wetty from a character analysis?
"I could definitely do with a bit of—what would you call it? . . . Combat therapy? Couldn’t you?"--And Luna returns with some opportune insights :)
"desolation, a type of stale shock . . . the face of someone who would have wept except that they’d run out of tears. As thought the last one had dried up years before . . . perhaps when he’d realised that no one was coming to help him. That he was on his own. Alone."--Fuuuuuuck! This whole paragraph was superb. The bleakness of his life is palpable.
"His face spasmed, his lips drawing back as though in pain."--Fabulous description. I can feel his disgust oozing off the page (disgust for kindness is a tough hurdle to leap)
"You'll give it."--Holy fucking hell. This is definitely your darkest Snape. I'm torn about what could happen next. I know I couldn't inflict that kind of pain on another person (and certainly not one I'd developed feelings for after repeated sexual interludes). But at the same time I understand the need for physical pain to blot out the emotional pain, and she promised to do whatever he asked of her. Of course I think there might be more effective ways of handling his alienation now that he has someone who understands what he's going through, but who am I to deny a man such a cathartic outlet after he went to so much trouble to "assist" Hermione?
Bah! Now you've got me all concerned. Don't you dare leave me hanging here. Come back!
I so wish I could be more eloquent of word, more articulate with the feelings this story enspires...alas, I can say no more than...
I love it
I love it
I love it
Sincerely
Kitty5tatts
​​
Wow, okay so I didn't review the last chapter, as I think I was still in shock about what actually occurred. Then I read this chapter and now I'm in the same position!! Firstly last chapter was epic, the evolution of your characters is outstanding, with more layers than an onion, it makes for a refreshing read. Severus is forever evolving and the layers gradually exposing themselves, right before our eyes. The cliff hanger at the end left myself, and I'm sure many a reader, physically gasping. Where this story goes, only you know, but rest assured there are many waiting on baited breath for your next instalment!
I'm commenting a day later, I just had time for fast read before going to my local HP group "get-together", not that I ha d tie, but I just needed to get out of the house and forget about my work for a couple of hours. so if you or OO had hiccups...I discussed your stories with few of my friends :*
ooh, you are brave. I always make sure no one can see my phone from just about a 360 degree radius when I’m reading. - I usually read at my home, but I just needed something to get me going, and the bus was the safest bet, well, definitely not experience I want to repeat
Perhaps just writing about sexual deviation can be enough? - depends on the person, like I said, it does require a certain mind set ;). As a student, I worked on the research that was cut and unfortunately never finished, but at the time I was mapping local BDSM community, talking with people, going to clubs as an observer - I've seen many newcomers coming and getting panic attacks, just giving up. But yeah, even just writing can be enough if its sets your mind straight. Just please don't call it a "deviation" or we are going to end up in deep debate about social constructs and origins of the repression that violates basic human rights and liberties :D
yes, trust is so key to all of this. - when did we see Snape thrust anyone, little less female? :D
Here’s another chapter to save those poor knuckles of yours - thank you for thinking about my knuckles, my hun loves them where they are and so do I :*
Likes/comments:
she didn’t need to see them again - she did poke the sleeping dragon, what did she expect a debate over some tea and cookies?
that had caused her to infuse more humanity into him that actually existed - true and not true, from one side she did read him well, from the other she did what she always does, assume and jumps straight ahead with conclusions. she still tries to shape the world to fit her image with disregard to the respect of peculiarities of differences.
She needed to get back to the safety of her room—to crawl under her blankets and attempt to wrap herself in a more comfortable delusion - and where is that infamous Gryffindor courage now? 3:D (*evil laugh* sorry I just had to)
except that she was suddenly hit by a train - hahahahahahaha
“Weren’t the scars enough?” - oh, this is so sad :'( He s talking about her and about himself, more about himself than her. This is such hot scene, why do you do this to me? :'''(
He knew her triggers . . . how to instantly dismantle her defences . . . how to thoroughly deconstruct her . . . he knew her . . . too well. - why do I have the feeling he knows himself better than her, that he sees himself in her?
Did he know her heart? - the question is, does she? She is just as wounded as he is, differently but same. She is like a raw nerve, exposed and all too sensitive, and she needs something equally raw and primal to connect to.
“Haven’t I given you enough?” His voice was tight with accusation. - hence lies the problem, he did give her even more than he bargained for, and still they don't know each other at all, so they do have serious communication issues or to be precise - complete lack of communication issue (inner and with each other)
“You don’t,” he grunted, with a final emphatic shove. It was infused with danger, a warning to back off. - you're breaking my heart again. :''''(
“Why don’t you run back to Potter?” - aww, he's jealous! Did I mention something about nitro before? :)
Then he snapped. - snapped or gave up?
One arm slipped around behind her shoulders and the other braced her hips. - sweet, she drove him mad and he's still protecting her <3
with so much feeling—anguish, desire . . . fear - another insightful and fantastic description
to buck about in the rigid cage of his limbs like a bug in a jar. - love this description
It was a sob of such bitter despair, of such obvious pain that she embraced him, pulling him tightly to her as he came, his cock straining inside her, its jerky undulations driving his seed deep into her. - fck, such good description of so many things at once, each of them individually as well as their relationship (to quote Luna :D )
He didn’t so much walk as stagger, his silhouette receding with an obvious limp. - and cold shower once again. My dear you either left us hanging on the cliff or play us hot and cold, and I can't tell what is worse - that's why I love your writing (among other things) :*
Speaking of cold showers, now I need one after that scene. Btw, thank you for the cock introduction to your story, you certainly made my day :*
Take care of yourself and keep writing, it is therapeutic ;) And I'll be, well probably in the shower, cooling myself and waiting for the next chapter.
Love&Kisses&Hugs xx
P.S.: I swear, I'm not trying to compete with the length of your chapters in my comments *blush*
Muchos gracias for that =)
I hope there's gonna be a big change now in their relationship.
Also, I'm hoping for some sort of scene where Hermione completely loses her interest and just lets things be where she'd feel 'all dry' and emotionless into their interactions and Snape staggers to gain her attention and socalled 'passion' back to him.
Okay. I hope my rant made some sense to you.
Beautiful. Intense. Incredible. Absolutely loved this chapter. Finally, he shows some feelings and allows to se that he is not a cold-hearted bastard as he seems in the first chapters. Can't wait for the next one.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck! You're killing me! I need to know what's really going on. And what's up with Snape's cock? Is he mutilated? Is he part snake? WHAAAAAAAAT? You'd better not be wasting your time at work this week; fanfiction is your job now, and we all need to hear more about sad, staggering Snape and how much Hermione needs his detentions.
And when are we going to find out about that freaking book?! (I forgot to say that after the scene where she searched his office.) Answer ME! (In story form.)
(more humanity into him that actually existed.--that/than)
And yet it was, ironically, that confidence that had given her the courage to do what she had done to him.--I'm loving this insight.
it would have been funny . . . except that she was suddenly hit by a train.--I'm not sure what made this so funny to me, but something about it totally cracked me up.
laced with the stale fetor of ancient mortar. --Lovely And fetor is going in the word notebook.
the wall sucking the heat from her bare skin like a Dementor--Excellent (and tactile) description.
"You might paint your provocations with a bold veneer but it is no more than another duplicitous stunt, a supplication for punishment dressed up as more bluff Gryffindor courage. You beg me to force your submission. You incite me to make you suffer . . . so you don’t have to do it yourself. You seek to make me responsible for what you want for yourself . . . for what you want to do to yourself. It’s far easier to play the victim than the perpetrator . . . isn’t it?”--I love this so much. But it also makes me wonder if this is what he really believes or if it's what he wants her to believe about what he believes. He's laid the entire thing at her feet with no comment on his own participation or reasons.
"And they didn’t happen once. How many times have you carved over them, scored that dirty sentiment into yourself?”--This is where I literally gasped out loud. Holy fuck, I didn't see that coming.
sending her head pitching back against the wall as she released--Quit trying to pitch me in the middle of orgasm :) You know my hands are too busy to copy and paste.
He didn’t so much walk as stagger, his silhouette receding with an obvious limp.--That's because his gargantuan cock is pulling off his center of gravity. (I know I shouldn't be making Nessie jokes at such a serious moment but you handed it right to me.)
The whole desperate sex scene was fabulous. I'l have to come back and read it again tomorrow.
I need so much more! More more more!
Patiently waiting,
OO