Ok, I'll guess I'll never learn, I read your story on the bus again (in my defence, it was 5h long ride), and I freaked out some random guy in the seat next to me when I started to cry (you can blame it on pms, I'm not usually that much emotional).
in fact any feelings at all - are you fishing for compliments? Your stories DO cause strong feelings, that's why people read them, that is a mark of a good writer ;P
but a very special male - ofc! It is Snape after all
I think she is genuine in her intentions - true, but there is a saying "the road to Hell is paved with good intentions" ;)
Likes/comments:
You are demonising McGonagall again! Why? I guess I'll have to wait and find out :)
What if he wasn’t? - yeah, not thinking do tend to bite you on the behind
A huge shadow landed upon her back, pinning her against the log. - that was....sexy :D I know, I'm weird
“The one you’ve cobbled together from countless gross assumptions? The detritus amassed from your festering ruminations? - I love this structure, I know many who would read it with a dictionary but I really love it. It holds such harsh truth about her.
“And yet I did not seek to debase you with pity. I did not approach you with sympathy . . . a service only to the giver.” - this broke my heart, it was obvious from the start that he would interpret that in that manner, but it still broke my heart.
His tears suddenly meant so much more to her. - and that is the moment I start crying :'( “Even as a child you need to know, don’t you?” she murmured. “That you are loved?” - and more crying, I just kept thinking - when was he led to know that he is loved?
like the bark against her cheek was also inside her . . . inside her throat - fantastic description, an embodiment of inner turmoil
She was sick of pretending that she understood everything. She didn’t. - finally!!!
forcing her to question her assumptions - which is the mark of a true educator, the one that forces you to be better, not lulled in what you already know but to seek more, to grow and develop beyond what you know that are your limitations
“You already understand the power of using one to obliterate the other.” / Her face crumpled in realisation—it was what she had deprived him of by ignoring his request. - and some more crying, the guy was totally freaked out, I could tell he wanted to ask if I am ok, but he didn't know me so he kept quiet XD This also solves the "mystery" of the flogger :(
“You are powerful,” he murmured. “More so than you realise.” - I love the duality of this statement, the reference to the difference in their appearance. It still breaks my heart, partially because true beauty lies beneath the skin, not on its surface. But then again, society always tries to convince us otherwise...
Her hand slithered up to cover her face - you just...no! Such simple act and so protective, it shows more about him then book of words.
Because I have already given it to you - you are killing me! So much is crammed in that one sentence. It is not just forgiveness for one thin g or the other, it is so much more! It takes us back to the moment he gave her the flogger. And puts into perspective her act of denying him more harshly than anything else. It screams betrayal (once again) like it is a constant in his life from which there is no escape :(
“I want . . . you.” - ok, more crying (I really hate pms)
she felt the briefest press of his lips against her temple - oooo honey it is so much more than that. Ok, yeah, there is forgiveness, but also much, much more - the addition, the sadness, the conciliation with destiny, in one small part it is surrender ... I could go on and on.
I really liked this chapter, it is heart breaking. I still do have a small problem with my brain and this story - it is so hard to even concentrate on the sex in the story like it is not happening at all or happening somewhere in the background. I love your sex scenes but in this story, I tend to miss them completely O.o
Take good care of yourself, and I can't wait for next chapter :*
Love&Kisses&Hugs xxxx <3
This might be my favorite chapter that you've ever written. In fact, this whole story might be taking the first place spot away from In Their Hands in my mental list of DS favorites. I actually felt the urge to immediately read this chapter again even after I'd just finished it (I managed to wait half a day though). There is so much universal and personal truth packed into this one chapter that I think I could come away with a new interpretation every time I read it.
You already know my thoughts on pussy power, but I particularly loved the bit about "You understand that you can use it to take as well as give." I have no idea why this struck me as so profound except that it's the first time I thought of pussy as being sort of the alpha and omega, the still-point between the illusion of duality. Or the Shrodinger's cat of transcendence, the pussy simultaneously encompassing two states of existence, giving pleasure and receiving pleasure. (Yes, I know I'm butchering that theory to fit my needs.)
The part about her watching her parents from the tree and the subsequent confession about her need to feel wanted and loved FOLLLOWED by her misery concerning their forgetting her was heartbreaking. But poignant when combined with her actions toward Snape. "I should have been with them instead of watching, instead of unfairly testing them . . . making them prove that they loved me, when I always knew.” This could be applied to both main characters equally (even if love is too strong of a word for what they currently have).
As always, the dialogue was sublime--Snape's speech in particular. I won't copy the whole thing back to you, but I loved it all.
Favs and fixes:
The spilled "tea" on her chin was hilarious.
'The one you’ve cobbled together from countless gross assumptions? The detritus amassed from your festering ruminations?--I love this, both for what he says and how he says it. (BTW, I just noticed you're missing the end quotation marks.)
(Now she was gripping her want tightly--wand)
And yet I did not seek to debase you with pity.--What a telling sentiment.
flitting over her stippled tears--Stippled. Yum :)
enveloping her like a protective carapace--Carapace made me love this even more.
she had a sense that his purpose was less about communicating absolute truths and more about extending her, testing her perspective, forcing her to question her assumptions.--Brilliant insight.
Now that he had breached her denim skin--denim skin was fabulous.
And you think that forgiveness will come when I do.”--Unh! The feels!
his free hand hooked into the waist band of her jeans, yanking her backwards as he slammed forward--Holy hell, yes! So hot. (Waistband is one word.)
He faltered, staring intently into her eyes, his breaths visible on the cooling air. Then his hand slid under her cheek, protecting it from the bark before he unleashed himself on her.--OMG! The feels and and fucking! Yeeeees! I particularly love how he keeps her face from being grated off by the bark. What a gentleman :P
With her face sandwiched between the cup of his hand and the rasp of his shadowed cheek, his chest rising and falling against her back, she felt ensconced within what felt like a warm, dark, breathing womb. She imagined herself remaining like that, hibernating there in the forest with him.--And when she emerges from that womb she'll be reborn with a new sense of freedom and power. Or at least that's what I want for her.
But as he did, she felt the briefest press of his lips against her temple.--Awwww.
Now I want Hermione to go whip the hell out of Snape. (You know, to prove her love . . . and power.) And I'm curious to know if Snape is trying to get fired. (I would if I were him.) And I want to know about that book. And if she's earned back all her house points yet.
You always leave me wanting more. Tease.
Amazing chapter. Absolutely loved it. Can't wait for the next one.
Okay, but I just read all 14 chapters, and I need more, please. <3 This is amazing, and I can't wait to see how things progress. :D
I have mixed feelings about this chapter. One, I LOVE it, it is hot! Two, I am not into fem-dom, so it is a bit difficult to connect, but that is highly subjective so I'm not sure if holds merit when I place it in the everything written so far ;). In overall, it is good chapter <3
Likes/Comments:
He might desire to be free of both her touch and the binds, as indicated by the occasional jerk as he tugged against them, but he was still aroused - yeah, you still need some sort of consent, even for that Hermione. Through, in this regard, she is his mirror image, a bit distorted but still (he did get her consent, even if reluctant). But she really needs to read some books :D - in rare cases, and he might be just that, (involuntary) arousal can be caused by fear which is a sort of self-defence mechanism of the body by more of it mind.
to make him understand that he deserved more than pain - yeah, I can understand her reasoning, and even why she chose this moment, Sev is difficult to deal with if he is not...silenced and tied up.
as confirmed by the largely incomprehensible but patently threatening commands - I just adore him :D
Had he really thought that he could control her? That she would be malleable enough, even in a position of dominance, to do as he desired? Or was his ultimate goal in all this to challenge her? Was this yet another sacrifice? - valid questions, I think a litle bit of all.
“Despite what you may think, I’m not afraid to use this.” She held it up to him. “I also understand that pleasure is an extremely personal experience and that, for some, this is a legitimate source.” She rolled the handle thoughtfully around in her fingers. “For that reason, I will now use it on myself.” - is she trying to give him a heart attack?
She knew that he liked to watch her. - duh, he IS a MALE, after all, liking to watch is a given
She wanted to believe that it was desire . . . not just revenge. And the glisten of his cock, the sparkling gem crowning his head suggested that she might just be right. - as said before, yeah, a male...like to watch...nothing new. It would be whole another game if she tried to use it for its original purpose, like this, I'd say that she probably missed a bit of relief he must be feeling.
and that she wasn’t at risk of serious repercussions when she finally did set him free - ooooooooo I can't wait to see these repercussions, though, they might surprise us knowing you :)
‘Your own brand of torture?’ - this sentence is more than a little telling, and not in a good way. He might have enjoyed what he saw, but it also indicates that he understood it as a way of torturing him, inflicting pain maybe more severe than flogger ever could.
ok, I get that she is trying to literally shock him back to understanding...but what she does...is it really good or maybe more damaging in the long run? As twisted as his logic is, is it really displaced? Can she guarantee, she would stay with him - forever? Or will she leave him with the knowledge that there is someone out there who can accept him but who is not really interested? I know that she can plan ahead, but I don't think she thought this true. Your Hermione is truly cruel in this story.
And then she saw it. A tear. A single glistening drop, trailing down one cheek. - hot scene, and in a way I'm glad she did that for him, also sad. That is too much messing with his head and his emotions.
She decided not to wait around to find out what it was. - grh, you can't disassemble someone like that and just abandon him, after care is part of the game.
Pausing at the bedroom door, she reversed the rope incantation before heading quickly for the entrance to his chambers. - not very brave Hermione :P
Now, at the beginning you told me to let you know if you start slipping into 50 shades...well you are on that slippery slope now, not quite yet there, but heading in that direction. Consider yourself warned ;)
Until the next chapter, which I do expect with impatience...I just have to know what HE will do next :) Take care of yourself :*
Love&Kissess&Hugs xxxx
😢😠oh no...that actually made me cry a little for Snape
So, I was waiting to review, as I felt like the previous chapter just wasn't complete. And wow was I right! I'm in between 'what the fuck just happened' and 'holy shit' kind of emotion. But what I know for sure, is that I'm addicted to this story. I love the complexity of your characters, and how you've made them you're own.
Ugh, I'm now going to be eagerly awaiting your next update!! I want to see what girl boss Hermione is going to do next! And even girl boss' are allowed to have an emotion outburst sometimes, so I hope she lets herself have one after that effort!
Ch14 - Well, that was intense. Glad to see Hermione taking control. SP
Oh, thank Merlin! I needed this today. I love the healing and breakthroughs going on in this chapter. So satisfying.
Was he afraid of forgetting the past? Is that what the scars were about? A constant reminder of what had happened? Of what he had done?--It is human tendency to block out our most painful memories. Scars would keep it fresh. But that could be both a blessing and a curse.
(Which is why she was now even more keen to follow through with next part.--Missing a "the" between with and next at the end.)
as evidenced by the bold prow of his cock which reared up--Prow and reared up were both sublime :)
perspiration-gilt muscles--Unh! Love this.
And the glisten of his cock, the sparkling gem crowning his head suggested that she might just be right.--Cock gems are a girl's best friend :P Tasty.
her core erupting into a chaotic flurry of contractions--Chaotic flurry is great.
there was a fiery determination burning within her chest . . . a trait that had eluded her for some time but that she was relieved to be able to draw from once more.--Ah! She's reclaiming her power. Excellent. (I'm currently all out of power to draw from, so I appreciate this revelation.)
It was one of the most daunting sights she had ever encountered—and not just sexually.--I love the stark realization she goes through at this moment, experiencing both his humanity and her own. There's so much vulnerability from both sides. Also I like the word daunting.
More of a desire that transcended any sense of relationship. One that disregarded all propriety, one that was dangerously primal, not beholden to convention or correctness. An addiction that one feeds—that feels too right, too integral to one’s being for it to be wrong.--Yeeees. This is so excellent.
He had given her forgiveness. She had given him acceptance.--Another huge revelation. This is the crux of their entire interaction summed up in two simple sentences. Brilliant.
The whole ending was fabulous. Snape's tear, the kiss, the reclamation of her book . . . and the celebratory skip. I'm still dying to know what that book is about, and of course now I'm equally eager to find out how Snape will react and how they will interact the next time they meet.
I was really loving this story. You're a very good writer, congratulations ^_^ I was just a little uncomfortable about chapters 13 and 14. I don't know... He opened up with her about his most secret desire and she just disregarded it completely, I mean... I was just uncomfortable because it reminded me too much of "50 shades...", the guy likes what he likes just because he is "troubled", with and history of abuses in his past, and needs to be "cured" by a loving innocent girl... I don't think Bdsm fetishes are something bad that needs to be fixed with love. We just like it because our life made us enjoy it, whatever the reasons... It's not "fixable" with lots of hugs and caresses... The desire (to be a submissive or a master) is just there, and it never goes away... We can ignore it, we can live our lives and have vanilla relationships, of course we can, but the desire is there, inside us, even if we chose to ignore it... You wrote that "she was trying to convey a message", well, for me, she just ignored what he asked of her to "make a point", maybe the point is that poor Severus never gets his way. He is always being manipulated by someone who thinks they know what's best for him... I think that if Hermione is not comfortable enough to do what Severus wants, and it's her right to chose if she wants to do it or not, to participate in his fetishes, she must be honest with him and tell him that she can't do it. My advice for Hemione would go like this: "Please, Hermione, don't fool yourself thinking that you can change him. Talk to him, he will tell you if he can be/wants to be in a vanilla relationship or not. And if he can't, you both can go your separate ways". Sorry, as a submissive myself, I needed to make a review. Hope you don't think it's a bad review. I just wanted to explain why I don't think the last chapters are very realistic. All the best. I will keep reading the story :)