I found this at 12:18A on a work night. Not sure how I freaking missed it. O.M.G.
I'll write a better review tomorrow, but some of your best work yet - everything was worded deliciously...and I like dark Severus. Muahhahahaha!!!!
xLissaDream
Oooohhhhh thats some naughty dark stuff, come on Hermione lets get some good stuff going!!. Soo excited to see where this goes. For snape to be like whatever after wow thats dedication to no emotional attachment. Sneaky snake!.
Oh. My. Fucking. God. You are killing me! I really shouldn't try to read this during breakfast. (Or perhaps I need to invest in a feedbag to free my hands.) So far I'm going to have to put this Snape more in the debauched column rather than the dark. Deliciously debauched. Mmmmmmm. But I have a feeling you're just going to push the envelope more with each chapter. (Puh-push it real good.)
Fav bits--
It felt like a metaphor for his entire existence. The concealment of his true identity as a spy, his shady past under Voldemort’s tutelage, his closed off, obstructive demeanour.--Love this whole idea and the way you phrased it.
(she whom had approached him--who)
(how the penalty would be metered out--meted?)
Hermione chose not to contemplate the answer as she suspected that her own frame of reference for such things was not even in the same ballpark as his.--I'm not sure why I like this so much. It might be the way you wrote it, or it might just be the bleak honesty of the idea.
The thumb and ring finger of the other hand delicately touched together in what looked like anticipation.--Dammit! I love this. You are the master of tiny details that mean so much more.
What did that mean? She would fall on him? He would watch and laugh?--Bahahahaha!
A word like ‘squirt’ didn’t belong in Snape’s vernacular under any circumstances. And in this context it was so vulgar, so dirty, that it shocked her.--Love this. So true about the vernacular (but it's so satisfying when he go rogue).
“When you orgasm, it’s not possible that I will . . . taste it?”--Unnnnh!
His voice had dropped impossibly low, drifting up from below her like smoke, curling into her so that her abdomen squirmed. “Thrill me.”--I love this description and then the sardonic "Thrill me" at the end. Fuuuuck!
And if he thought that pointing it out would help, he was mistaken--Hahahahaha!
the way she did after she had been crying for a prolonged period—but was recovering. It was a peculiar realisation.--This is excellent. Keying us into her state of mind and making the comparison.
She wished he would shut up.--*slams hands down on the desk* Do you mind? I'm trying to masturbate here!
The final word was delivered with so much tongue, she could almost taste it--Bahahaha! Oh god! This was great.
Hermione’s head pitched forward, her jaw fell open as her body prepared for her release.--Don't try to slip your slippery pitches past me at a time like this. I'm trying to read, woman!
And still his finger remained boldly rooted inside her--Yeeees. Rooted is perfect here.
Despite her reservations about facing him, Hermione was shocked to see Snape between her legs, head bent over the parchment, his calm, fluid quillstrokes continuing as though she weren’t there, as though she’d never been there.
She stared at his hands. One index finger glistened with her juices. He hadn’t wiped it off.--I love this whole dirty but detached ending. As if he couldn't be bothered to even watch her. But there's still that telltale finger. Unh! So hot.
I loved Snape's entire commentary throughout. The whole thing. GAH! I'll have to go back and read it through when you're done with the story so I can come to it properly. (I'm not sure I can go from idling to full throttle in the span of one short chapter. I'll have to come back and hit myself with them all the chapters at once.)
And now, of course I need more. More, more, more. You got me all desperate and addicted--now you have to supply the goods! ATHD! ATHD! ATHD!
I wonder if you will change your mind about him. - So far still love him. He give of that "book Snape" vibe, and that's the Snape I adore :D
Likes/Comments:
Ok first things first - I just love the visual descriptions in all your stories, this one is no exception. I would sell my soul (what left of it anyway) to be able to write like that.
What exactly had he done to people in his past? As a Death Eater? - Ok, right question and wrong question, one next to the other. But this is also good tell-a-tell how naive she is.
The concealment of his true identity - I just love how deep this part goes, even if her mussings may be misleading, it is still one of the major truths about him.
Why had he even returned to Hogwarts after everything that had happened? - I fking love this story! Another dual meaning sentance. For one - really why did he ? But then again - did he had a choice? Was it "the home" or was it "the need to spite"? There are few more possibilities, but I'll let story to tell me which ;)
In fact, apart from the books, the entire room was depressingly bare, far moreso than when Dumbledore had occupied the space. Less personality. Less warmth. Less . . . soul. - interesting, for me that kind of room would be telling volumes and tomes, and neither would lead me "less soul" conclusion. :D
I love how you described their duel for every ounce of power, he already has upper hand, but she is stubborn enough to fight each step of the way. She's making herself willing and more interesting prey. And I have my suspicion that after 20+ years of living under the intense mental pressure, he also don't know what do with himself in the time of peace. My guess is he also need a challenge, danger and more than anything...mind games. In a way he did created, for both of them, environment they both need, question is how far they are willing to play the game?
So for the sake of eating . . . and tolerating the remainder of her time at Hogwarts, she would do it. She had to. - lol, brilliant! You presenting her as willing martyr, but reality is...she is not - she don't need to be. It is all matter of how willing she is to: 1) face the consequences of her rebellion against the rules, 2) how willing she is to be "less perfect" in the eyes of the others, and most importantly 3) why is she willing to be "less perfect" in his eyes but not in the eyes of others?
LOVE the blindfold ;)
Weaving his hypnotic spell with words alone? With that voice? - o yes! :D
So far hun...all you managed to do is make me fall for him even more. Whuh, I have feeling that temperature in my room is insanely high just reading his speech to her. What a lovely way to...assist her.
Hermione was shocked to see Snape between her legs, head bent over the parchment - you are forcing me to giggle again, how blunt! Delightfully blunt show off "you are not in the league little girl".
“You could have given . . . more.” - well, he did help :D
Now, this is not a critique, I am absolutely swiped off my feet with this start, but pls tell me you won't turn it in to a "50 shades" kind of story. Pls! You have so much more talent (and I'd say knowledge) than that. Make it as dark as you wish, but please, don't make it...shallow.
Can't wait for next chapter ;)
Take care, and stay strong, my support is with you.
Love&Kisses&Hugs :* <3
fucking great. as usual.
keep writing!
finally found something good to read while i'm on my post graduation enjoying the vacation time in my hands.
lots of love!!!
xx
What a place to leave it!
Can't wait for more.
I didn't manage to write my review for last 2 chapters of the last story and there is a new one. At least you saved yourself from "When is the next one coming?" ;) And don't worry I'll give you my 2 cents about the finish of previous story as soon as I find more than 5 minutes of time >.< Work returned with a vengeance and my being late with reviews may become regular occurrence, but I'll at least always find time to read new chapter ^_^
Now, onto a chapter 1
I adore this Severus <3 I really do, he's ...well... Severus, the one from the books. True Slytherin to the core. I think I'm in love :D
This Hermione sounds like she is adrenaline junkie, she needs the thrill of rule breaking. She does regret but still... maybe she doesn't know how to live in times of peace. She is looking for that underlying pressure, sounds like she don't know what to do with herself if she isn't worried. Intellectually, she is above her age, so twice bored with school and lack of something to o occupy her thoughts.
I love the moment when he caught her and deducted points. It is highly navie and at the same time erotic.
"there must be some good in the man." - aha, sure :D
“Did you want to show me something?”/“Are you . . . positive?” - yeah I'd ask the same :D
But perhaps this was it. The compromise. The punishment. - The thrill, the breaking of the rules? Maybe the pressure she needed? The one she was so desperate to find.
His jaw rolled subtly, as though he was sucking a boiled sweet. “Lift your skirt.” - great visual, and yeah, this made me laugh. Let's see how far she is willing to go, how far he can push her. She run in that trap all on her own :)
Did she even want to know? - she maybe don't, but I do :D
“Where do you want me?” - huge, huge grin :DDDD
Now I can't wait for the next chapter ;)
Take care!
Live&Hugs&Kisses <3 :*
Bring the dark dirty smut, i love a dark snape!!!! Continue on!
I love your work first now everyone is going to hate me I hate the harry potter stories I have sat and wached all of the movies I read the last 2 books I love the genre but I am more cerebral of a reader I like a few characters but my mind wants a setup its mising character development, not descriptive and have a Relatability for me hary is famous he has someny pepole behind him for no reason I cant relate i prove myself and still cant get anywhere
This is so, so good! I loved it! More soon, I hope.