I'm so behind on reviews...I'm sorry. :o( I had a big paper due last week on top of my normal school work, plus I worked 47 hours, and hosted Easter. Please forgive me!?
Chapter 18: This chapter broke my heart. I feel so terribly sad for both of them. He needs to man up and she just needs to spew the truth. Sophia has me intrigued – I’m itching to see where this is going. She’s a lovely little girl. Her family situation is maddening. I don’t know how anyone could abandon a child. It is something I would never be able to do, so it floors me beyond belief. Malfoy was a nice addition – it definitely brings more angst into the story. Severus’ reaction is both infuriating and sad.
Chapter 19: Malfoy was uncharacteristically sweet, but I like it. It added to the scene. The cryptic-ness of your characterizations and interactions of them are driving me nuts. I’m with OO – I have so many effing questions. Way to keep me on tenterhooks! The fuck against the door was hot – and a bit scary – but mostly hot.
Chapter 20: Oh. My. God. O.O
Re: Chapter 20
O-ho! Well, well, well, THAT is certainly a...wrinkle.^_^
What a frackin' mess! He doesn't get to act like the hurt, betrayed one, when it is his attitude and actions that are making it happen. It was interesting that Lucius was so willing and seemed rather excited to be called to action after their past. I wonder why... The tension between the two men was also intriguing, since presumably they're friends and Severus is the jerk who called Lucius into the situation. What the heck did he think would happen when he treated her so callously and set her up with someone else? "I'm sorry." WTF?! And then Sophia. What the what?! Minverva was clearly hiding information and that's not good. I love that you have both of these stories going so seemlessly, but I hope Hermione gets another good break soon. I fear not though, since you clearly said Lucius couldn't make things worse when we know he could. Eek! Thanks again, hon! HG4eva
he probably did underestimate them both - hmm, I'd go with trusted his "friend" more than underestimate
let me know what you think x - fantastic as always ;)
Likes/Comments:
“He may be a cantankerous bastard but he’s clearly quite taken with you.” - you made Lucius to be his friend, maybe more than he really was (It's ok, I think we are all bit enchanted with OO's story ;) )
“Lie on the bed. Touch yourself. I’ll do the rest.”/“Leave those on.” - I like how you orchestrated all of it, she didn't really cheat on Sev, and she did provide necessary information and still execute her revenge (no matter how unfounded it and misguided).
the man she has felt closer to than anyone in her life. - sadly, we are always capable to hurt the most, to be truly cruel to those we love the most, and that is what she's doing now
“If you need any more, I’d be happy to provide it. But I’ll require a little more in return.” - snd this is why I believe that Severus trusted Lucius, he probably hinted at least something, Lucius does knows more than he lets her realise
She hears the muffled sound of conversation—neither voice raised. - now I'm curious, what did Lucius told him? Will we have the chance to find out? Maybe in his POV?
she figures Severus isn’t going to like the news - she couldn't be more wrong even if she tries :D
His black eyes are bloodshot. She doesn’t care to know why. - :'( doesn't care or doesn't want to know because it will hurt her? Sounds like the later to me.
“You can’t make me tell you, Severus,” - i beg to differ, and I do love how he showed her that she's wrong.
and gradually ground into throbbing submission with each excruciatingly deliberate flexion of his forearm./He has her caught there . . . like a fly in a web . . . to do with as he pleases. - fantastic! so visual and hot. I still stand behind what I said before, I can't imagine him being too dominant, but it is still as hot as hell to see him in that role ^_^
She’d wanted him to unleash himself upon her—and now that he had, it was as all-consuming as she’d hoped it would be. - mmmmmmhhhh yes :)
“Of course it’s you,” she whispers. “It was only ever you. You’re the one.” - if I ever heard better way to say someone "I love you" without saying it
He continues to regard her with that same sadness. “I can’t.” - I want to know more about this!
closing her out, just as she had done - she did deserve this.
I really do hope that next chapter would be his POV, maybe with more explanations and input on what happened, especially when she was in room with Lucius. I'd love to say soon, but take your time. The story great as this one, I can at least try to be patient (though I can't promise it ).
Love&Hugs&Kisses <3 xx
Lucius was intriuging... not repulsed, acted friendly, and acted as a friend to Severus. hmmmm I would love to have been a fly on the wall of their conversation as he left and know why Serverus cried. I feel like Severus needs to really explain himself. I know he won't, but he needs to do so, so he can purge his demons and she can get some answers. I wonder what's wrong with him now that he can't finish...is he can't or won't? Thanks! HG4eva
Aaaaaaaaah! Adding exceedingly hot sex scenes to your plot torture does not absolve you of your sins! It's like you're edging me with cliffhangers and unresolved angst. How rude!
Now I want to know what Lucius said before he left, and I need to know what all has been happening to Snape in the between time, because obviously he's been miserable (and unable to come). He must have known auxiliary jizz wasn't the answer before Lucius showed up that night.
And I suspect he knew he wouldn't be able to come during that door-banging shag. Why can't he come?! Is it because he broke her heart and now the magic is mad at him?
And I'm dying to know what Sophia is going to show Hermione in the morning. I hope it's something that clears up things between her and Snape.
Fav bits--
A further source of disquiet is the fact that this is her first time in his most private space and yet it is with another man . . . It should have been with him.--I love this for what it says about her true feelings.
It sounded like she was at the grocers buying meat. --Bahahaha! I'd like a pound of Grade A Severus loin chops, please. :P
His black eyes are bloodshot. She doesn’t care to know why.--Yes, she does! Don't be a cunt, Hermione. You know you're curious.
his slick penetration crawling deliciously into her scalp.--Love the visceral nature of this description.
To scream her sadness into his ear, directly into his brain so that he understands. --Again, I like this for what it says--the emotion it conveys.
"with each excruciatingly deliberate flexion of his forearm."--Mmmmmm, forearm flexion does it to me every time. :)
And of course I loved the whole desperate sex scene between them. The tension was palpable. Yummy but sad. (You are the queen of cognitive dissonance.)
Now stop driving me batty and clue me in. What's coming up next, Snape's POV, or Sophia's revelation? Answers, woman; I need answers!
No no no no no! You're not giving me answers, you're just making more questions!
What the hell is going on with Sophia? Who are her parents/family, and why is Minerva being so cagey? Baaaaaaaah!
And now Hermione's going to get Lucius off for their little experiment?! No no no! That wasn't the deal. He's a big boy--he can come by himself. I understand Hermione's need to hurt Severus after so much turmoil (he's not just being a prick, he's condemning her to a diminished and painful existence), but since I don't know what the hell happened between them to make Snape so mental, I can't blame him either. (That only leaves Lucius, and he's just a semi-innocent bystander; so I have no one to vent my frustrations on.)
(Oh, and it's definitely jizz cockiness. Cock jizziness is strictly for determining fluid output--not its potency :P)
And now I'm dying to know what's going to happen with Lucius. But I'm more interested in what Sophia wants to show her.
You're killing me!
Fav lines--
What had seemed so strong, she now realises was hopelessly fragile and despairingly temporary.--That's the story of my life, Hermione. I love this. It encapsulates her slide back in to darkness so perfectly.
(her withdrawal it is particularly noticeable.--The it sounds superfluous. But I'm not sure it's wrong.)
"I need you to come on me.” Lucius’ eyebrows shoot up. Severus chokes.--Hahahaha! The funny lines are all the more stark in such heated circumstances.
"I disagree,” Hermione states.“So do I.” Lucius regards him with disdain.--*Inappropriate snorting*
you are right, but things are complicated - With Snape, they always are, he is complicated man
I just love this chapter, well love and hate at the same time to be honest. But, I have nagging suspicion that that was your intention all along.
He had been everything she’d wanted—everything she’d asked of him . . . sweet and gentle, kind and . . . loving. - and hence lie the problem, what she wanted of him not who he is. Most problems in relationships come from that, you do not take the person you are with as it is, most of the times couples try to change one another. Even worse when the other party don't live up to expectations, sadly I had to learn that on a hard way. It is even harder to learn how to accept your partner for who he/she is.
She does exibit that trait which most long term patientes develope over time, a bit selfish and self-centric attitude, like the world do owe them something. I've seen plenty of that, and never understood, maybe because I was different.
I’m sorry. - now you got me all interested, why is he sorry about? I know that she presumes that she know why he apologises, but is it the real reason for his apology?
I'm almost sorry to see Minerva slipping so much, turning into a twisted version Dumbledore in a way. I do understand that she has school to run, but she does sound unusually cruel and cold.
Poor, poor Sev. I know that she is mad at him, but I have in my head what he told her in last chapter. It is like he has to have proof that nothing else can be done, like he has to justify his action to someone else. And I'm sure she would pick up on that if she listened.
Lucius’ eyebrows shoot up. Severus chokes. - I love this :D
Severus’ hands clench by his sides and Hermione wonders who he is planning to hex first. - well this is the plan gone sour for Sev, he obviously didn't plan for them to actually do anything
He blinks and she sees the anger giving away to something else—hurt, regret, sorrow - ok, you make me feel sad for him again.
“We’re using the bedroom.” - this is...well...not fair. If she wants to use bedroom she can use hers not his.
I do hope that next chapter would see some hot sex between her and him, without Lucy (sorry I nearly wrote sparkly Lucy, blame it on OO, she ruined Lucius for life in my eyes). I hope to see next chapter soon, and maybe some better atmosphere in it ;)
All the love with hugs and kisses <3 :*xx
And I’m still looking forward to you telling my fortune ;) x - You are aware that it is all child's play? Right? :D
I just love the blend of aftermath and retrospect in this chapter. I also like her behaviour, she acts like a lovestruck teenager trying to rationalize her affections.
"the delicious constellation of sensations" - lovely phrased
"she’d actually fallen asleep, head nestled under his chin, fingers interlocked with his" - this is so sweet, so out of character for him and endearing :)
"her bare toes occasionally brushing against his" - such a nice description of intimacy
They do seem to have a bundle of hurdles to skip concerning their past and present, don't they? Minerva is one of those hurdles, sadly. But, the hardest one is in their heads.
“As things stand, you are currently a young woman, an ex-student, who has come to Hogwarts, obviously exceedingly unwell, looking for assistance.”/“And I am a man—your past Professor, currently taking advantage of my ill and desperate ex-student, to satisfy my own needs." - He does have a point from logical perspective, but it is also so sad...he does see himself...unworthy of her.
“It doesn’t matter what I ‘think’, it matters what can be proven—what I can provide evidence for.” - :'(
"His name is Lucius Malfoy." - of course, who else...
Severus wandlessly closes the door, then collapses, face in his hands. - this just makes me sad, why is he so...so...it is sad to see him surender and lose all his fight. That is not Severus we know. he is survivor, he maybe didn't want to keep on living but...I do expect him to fight, tooth and nail, in spite if nothing else. Please, make her get us back the Sev we all love ;) Even when on the ground, he is one of the people who are strong and capable of fighting back, get back on their feet. He's not alone.
I can't wait for the next chapter! But do keep good care of yourself first :*
Love&Hugs&All my support :* <3 xx
Whaaaaaaaat? WTF is going on? Why's he suddenly so distant? What the hell happened when she was taking care of him after the war? (And was he awake? I thought he was unconscious. How can he be upset if he didn't even know what was happening? Or is that what's bugging him?)
I loved the whole opening scene with his half-blocked body at the meeting. The visual was great, and it's very symbolic of the partial view we have of him right now (there's so much we can't see). (Although, Snape would probably prefer everyone see him with an obstructed view).
And the flashback filing us in on what happened where we left off was great too. He's taken down so many of his walls (even going so far as to bare his feet). But then we get the glimpse of the past and everything starts to shift.
I was interested in her reasons for looking after him in the hospital, but then it all got overshadowed by his pressing questions and her avoidance. (What the hell did she do to him?)
He seems distant but not angry when they're leaving his place, but it's like something happened between then and the teachers' meeting. (Like Minerva said something.)
And now Lucius will be involved. I can't see that going well. (But I don't think his jizz will work, so I'm not too worried.) Plus there's still the funding issue and brewing for them to deal with. There're so many possible routes for the plot to take.
Baaaaaah!
Patiently waiting for some clarifying clues :) (Or impatiently waiting. But I've got enough writing to keep my mind off it.)
(Oh, I thought—”--Missing the beginning quotation marks.)