I was waiting for this, and ofc, you post a story in a middle of my business meeting! Well, now I'm in a coffee shop, I couldn't wait to get home ;)
First of all, we really think alike, why? That is something you'll have to discover on your own XD
And now...
Poor Herione.
Rapidly ascending the stone stairs, his body seems to occupy a realm of illusory magic, his smooth grace giving him the appearance of floating, layered robes adding to the impression as they are lifted on the unforgiving drafts that scuttle by - I just love, love, love how you describe him. Every time I fall for him over and over again <3
“It was as clear as mud as you would be well aware.” Snape crosses his arms expectantly, his imposing frame looming over her desk. - just perfect
“Well, you killed him so unfortunately that is no longer an option.” - this is not how I imagine Minerva acting towards him, I see her more as motherly type that would be protective over him :)
Snape’s black eyes burn, hurt melting into anger, before he turns one last time and disappears, robes flapping fiercely behind him. - squeal, it is too early in to the story to make me sad, give us bit rest from crying, have mercy.
Now I can't wait for the next chapter.
On a totally selfish note - I am more than happy to see your new story so soon. xx
Intriguing.
The writing in this whole opening scene with Hermione was wonderful. Everything. From the sun's scorching rays to Minerva's onion skin touch. I already feel horrible for Hermione and we're only 10 paragraphs into the story.
Snape's trip to the staff room was masterful. "his shadow twisting like a phantom about his legs as he swiftly navigates corners, leaving torches guttering in his wake"--Unnnnnnh! Yes! I couldn't honestly cut and paste the entire trip (but I'd just keep grunting in pleasure, and I'm sure you get the point).
I love Snape's reaction and the conversation with Minerva (so much room for a great character arc as the story progresses). Of course I'm dying to find out what afflicts our fair Hermione and what is the courageous and brilliant Snape going to do about it. (I know he can help her, because he's a wiz at keeping away my squatter's twat.)
(Shit, I almost forgot--sound effects (like crunch scrunch) are italicized and no quotation marks are necessary.)
I've already read this twice now. I should really go back to my writing. (Stop distracting me!)