Omfg.... Snape..... Such a hot scene!!! Where's my fan!?!?!?
Only a vague idea! Okay, I can live with that. As long as you figure it out before we get there.
Mmmmmmm! This chapter was sooooo good. A little sexual tension, a little angst, a little jizz on the desktop. And you ended it with a mystery. Excellent. All the conflicting emotions and moods brought out all the opposing parts so beautifully. You might be the master of blending dark humor and depressing moods, feeding them off each other so the reader is left as insane as your characters. Bravo. :)
hard and hopeful. As though it has a chance--love this. The bleakness of her situation packed into one little nipple. But there was something sadly hilarious about it too.
"that she was destined to rot here in this cupboard, collapsing upon herself until she imploded into nothingness."--Holy fuck. This is my life.
His head pitches forward---I spy :)
I am moaning rapturously over the entire wanking scene. I won't cut and paste it since you know what you wrote, but the whole thing deserves to be highlighted. The writing was gorgeous, and the meat beating was hot as hell. I loved the whole rediscovering his manhood mentality (and it mirrors Hermione's sexual hibernation too).
And I love that Hermione could smell it on him. :P
"No. My plumbing has been fixed.”--Hahahahaha!
And then you end with calcium. I love it when you go all Bill Nye on us. :D
Chapter 6.
So he tries to get away with an insult by sort of automatic/pretended apology -how Snape...
The scene at the clearing is beautiful, it's serene - forest in the moonlight, scented plants... It just seems so lovely somehow... if you forget him being an arse, and her anger, and the possible danger the are in...
He remembers her compassion... now that's apology I could accept and I suppose she knows, she needs him. She put a lot of trust in him, I do hope he can appreciate that -at least he realises her strength or will to carry on is not limitless.
“Do you believe that the difference is related to sensory receptor density?" -that's what I thought, when she said that: “Some parts of my skin are more sensitive than others. Some smells and flavours have a greater impact.” -even healthy people have that, to a different extent, of course...
Physical examination was so intimate, I believe, that apart from learning about her condition he mapped out her sensitive spots, to be used later... :) Clever boy.
The tension was fantastic. I do hope she doesn't leave just yet.
I also hope, that you will update soon, because it's getting exciting and I am very curious of what happens next :-)
Love
Fox xx
hahaha, I was thinking that when I wrote it ;) - what can I say? Birds of a feather ;)
she strides confidently out the door—at least that is how she wishes to appear - great introspection
holding branches and bushes out of her way and extending his arm for her to grasp as she negotiates rocks and fallen logs. - he is a true gentleman
“That would be the logical conclusion from my response.” - she actually sounds like him :)
“I suppose that is one way to climb the corporate ladder.” - hahahaha yup, that's Snape XD
He raises one placating hand as though she is a wild animal about to attack. And that is very much how she feels, ragged breaths wracking her small frame, teeth bared. - fantastic visual, it also gives an impression of wild animals trainer, someone who is not afraid to be in a same cage with wild and unpredictable, dangerous animal, which portrays him as brave, daring and damn sexy
“Hermione.”/“Please.”/He hesitates, lips parted. He is clearly having difficulty articulating./“Please accept my apology.”/“I . . . I wish to help you.” - this part is just breathtaking quite literally
The furrowed lines of his prominent features are exaggerated in the diffuse wand-light. - another fantastic visual
“I . . . remember your compassion.” His voice catches and she finds her heart beating faster at the admission. “I would like to afford you the same. I believe I can help.” - *sly victorious grin* hehe
“I won’t go back there . . . not again.” - I can sympathise, in one point you can gladly suffer through the illness that return to doctor that won't show you necessary understanding
Instead, he catches himself, allowing his hand to hover awkwardly by his cheek before dropping it back to the desk. - the whole section, great insight into his inner struggle
Merlin’s— - I just love this <3
“No. Your hand . . . use your hand.” - hehehehe, I can understand why but still...
She can hear him breathing. No longer through his nose. - grin
Her inner thigh./She whimpers. “Ten.” - She is in for a fast ride to the "itch she can't scratch"
brow furrowing as he grazes behind her knee and then slips up to skim along the sensitive curve of her other thigh. - huh, hot. I know it is examination, and a quite standard one for nerve damage, btu it sounds like seduction and foreplay
Rising, he stands before her. Their breaths merge. Both damp and laboured./His fingertips gently touch the pads of her lips and her mouth drops open; wordless noises emerge. - ok, this scene is steaming hot
Finally he ghosts over her nipple and a moan erupts from her throat. Grasping his wrist in her trembling hand, she opens her eyes to find him looking equally flustered. - ffs, can you send him to examine me?!!!
He whirls away from her, hands on his hips as his back muscles seethe visibly beneath his coat with each breath. /“That’s enough.” His voice is guttural, strained. “You need to go.” - ok I'm drooling on my keyboard now. I do hope that next chapter will include glimpse of how he deals *wink, wink* with ramifications of this...purely medical...examination.
Ok you left me...in not quite working mood...but my break is over.
Hugs, kisses and barrels of laughter and good mood for you until the next chapter :* <3
Baaaaaaah! No, don't go. You haven't tested her clit yet. Or any internal areas. So many territories left unexplored. Maybe her anus is totally unaffected. (If it's not, pooping must be excruciating for her.)
There was a lovely contrast in this chapter between the outdoor scene and indoor scene--from the loss of layers to the change in demeanor/ increase in intimacy. (And all thanks to a semi-apology from Snape.)
Are you going to go into why Hermione is so agitated by the mention of her ex-boss (and possible boyfriend)? I need to know what happened!
Fav lines--
"Her breath materialises and dissipates in the glow of her wand."--Love the visual.
I also like the whole scene in the forest. (I know, too vague, but I can't pinpoint what all I liked about it.)
"Their breaths merge. Both damp and laboured."--Mmmmmm! So hot.
And the whole "medical test" scene was fabu! So much tension! Tasty :P
I don’t need anything more distracting me from my work at the moment. - I'm with you on that, she is now in full blown mood, and the chapter I was stuck on - it's almost half written,which is more than I can say for the document I must finish by tomorrow :/
just so that you can love him that little bit more x. - you know me so well xx
Moonlight drapes across his pale leg, washes over his stomach turning the fine hairs silver, and ends in a milky sash across one scarred shoulder. The rest of him lies in darkness, all except the shine of his eyes - fantastic visual, and so damn sexy in an innocent way
He can still feel her hands. Small. Impossibly soft. Touching. Soothing. Squeezing reassurance into his.He can still feel her hands. Small. Impossibly soft. Touching. Soothing. Squeezing reassurance into his. - yes, when we are hurt or in pain, we do tend to create bonds and attachments, much stronger than we normally would, to those who show kindness and give support.
I do envy your mastery with words, you perfectly painted how lost he was in that hospital bed, how much he is a tortured soul in need for kindness and love, even resolution. How much he is haunted by his past and his life. You made it sound so gently with a harsh truth beneath all - in past every moment of tenderness feel like it's stolen, not something that belongs to him.
Perhaps he does owe her. - I won't repeat myself, but you know exactly what I'm thinking ;)
The black legs beneath are elegantly crossed. She has seen them far less elegant—askew and tangled in bedsheets, writhing in pain. - another great visual, and insight in their history.
Sitting on the edge of the saucer is a tiny biscuit. The peace offering comes with a tiny barb. How very Snape. - how very Snape indeed :D. The entire bit with tea cup is just heart-melting <3
If only he could pull his horns in for more than a millisecond at a time. - she does not refer to ALL his horns, I hope. I do expect some hot sexy scenes along the way ;)
“Is there anything further I need to know about your . . . condition?”/“As irresistible as you consider yourself, I’m confident that I will be able to withstand the temptation.” - hahahaha, olive branch with thorns :D - Pomona can only envy him XD
A bronzed silhouette in the low candle light, certain indiscernible curves breaching the glassy water. - perfect :)
or he’s very well endowed./She happens to know the answer. She’s seen him after all—more than once. She wonders if he realises. - I bet he is *big, biiiiiig grin* Yeah, like he is unaware of the fact, more like he chooses not to remember. That particular memory can make things much more volatile between them XD
A soft rustle as he shakes it. /He zips, - ok, you just managed to turn something so mundane in to something erothic <3
she looks up at the mirror and is surprised to find his intense black gaze upon her. By the time she turns to look at him, he is gone. - another humongous grin, it's starting, slowly but it's staring *happy dance*
Waiting for the new chapter with all the patience I can muster ;)
I'd wish to send you some sunshine, but where you live I guess you have enough and some more to spare :) So I'm sending you some good vibrations and loads of hugs and kisses :* <3
Such a good chapter! I’m not even sure why I liked it so much—perhaps it was the burgeoning connection between the characters . . . or maybe the first rays of hope. Snape’s introspective moment in bed was great, giving us both his thoughts and some backstory (and naked Snape). And the bit with the tea in the teacher’s lounge was sweetly poignant. Excellent :)
Fav parts—
“Moonlight drapes across his pale leg, washes over his stomach turning the fine hairs silver, and ends in a milky sash across one scarred shoulder”—Oh fuck me! You went right for the word kill with the first sentence!
“scanning the familiar pits and burrs of his torrid existence.—Pits and burrs”—so good!
“The foundations for his fury were there—lurking in the shame and embarrassment of what she had seen—the understanding that, unbeknownst to him, she had witnessed all that he had spent his life desperately attempting to hide.”—This encapsulates the basis of his self-imposed solitude so beautifully.
“One didn’t button oneself to within an inch of respiratory failure unless one had a reason to do so”—Hahahahaha!
“The black legs beneath are elegantly crossed. She has seen them far less elegant—askew and tangled in bedsheets, writhing in pain.”—Love this visual. And the comparison between the Snape that the world sees and the Snape she knows is really there.
“no doubt looking to indulge in further snorting at her expense.”—Hahahaha! Snorting at other people’s expense is an art at which I, too, excel. Relocation can often renew the joy of that first snort. :P
“straining against any resistance and placing them in some sort of receptacle”—Bahahaha!
“If only he could pull his horns in for more than a millisecond at a time.”—*Snort*
“But he’s obviously more paranoid about appearing paranoid.”—He should have sung a song to block out the sounds (a la Boo in Monster’s Inc).
“having discovered the hard way that there is nothing more excruciating than an itch that she cannot scratch.”—Fuck. Tell me about it >_<
Hi Dessie,
Yup it looks that may last review was lost :( Let's start again, shall we?
Chapter 3.
Description of her eating is so painful. I've read about people with anosmia saying, that eating is a necessary evil and it seems the same for Hermione, although her condition is completely opposite to anosmia. Poor girl, no surprice she lost so much weight if she can't enjoy a simple meal.
"questioning anew the purpose of her agonising life" -how depressing, I'm not sure If I would be able to carry on... honestly I went into depression for far less that that.
The bath scene is bringing some hope at first, but as soon as her brain starts to work properly again -it's heartbreaking to see how much it cost her to have this lonely, scary half-life, where everything is a threat.
Now, the Ministry bastards are the ones responsible for getting my favourite two together :) I wondered how were you going to do this.
“Of course. Having her shuddering in a corner will be of immeasurable benefit.” -this was cruel, but very funny too, I must be an evil person to laugh. I think Severus, for whatever reason he has, is blind quite on purpose. Surely a Potions Master must know, that heightened senses are very useful... And she's not being paid! Ha! Take that Snape!
Fox xx
Chapter 4.
I loved the conversation with the little know-it-all, it was a heart-warming and hope-inducing little thing. It made me smile. Another little Hermione :)
The conversation with Snape! So funny.
"He grinds his teeth, expecting it to add to the fury burning in his chest but he feels it lower, much lower than that. Inhaling deeply, he quickly dismisses it." -No Snape! Don't dismiss it. For the love of god, let's have some action! Come on Snape, you need it too. Admit it.
Ok, so I do feel a little sorry for him right now, as prickly and arsy as he is, he is quite alone too...
"Or maybe he remembers." -remebers what? Ohhh another secret! I love it -I mean more than before.
Aha. Didn't have to wait too long for this secret to be revealed. So he wasn't aware she fought for him. Hmmm...
Good chapter
Fox xx
Chapter 5.
I've caught up :D
And the first paragraph is just killing me... Dessie, you know how to turn me on! Naked Snape in the moonlight... honestly that's a dream come true, I have goosebumps all over and I'm drowning in my own saliva.
The whole part about his imaginings and impressions of owners of hands touching him for months, was beautifully written. It gave a subtle insight to his past... less than perfect family life, lost friend, pain, damage, vulnerability. It was perfect in showing enough, without hitting me in a face with it. Good stuff.
"Pits and burrs" -that is brilliant description and terrifying visual at the same time.
"One didn’t button oneself to within an inch of respiratory failure unless one had a reason to do so." -so it sounds funny on the outside, but it has a really tragic lining... I suppose it was shocking for such a private, solitary man to have all his secrets revealed unwillingly to HER of all people.
"From every angle it unfortunately looks the same. Perhaps he does owe her." -yup, it looks like you are backed into a corner mate.
"On their way, they pass that familiar wall of newspaper" -hahaha wall of newspaper... So she understands him quite well, then. That's good to know.
"Snape must have slipped out—no doubt looking to indulge in further snorting at her expense." -hahahaha this is so funny. I am quite like that myself... ;)
" a whiff of kindness, a smidgen of empathy" -love it
"The peace offering comes with a tiny barb. How very Snape." -love it even more
"If only he could pull his horns in for more than a millisecond at a time." awww Snapey... I'd love to see his horn...
“As irresistible as you consider yourself, I’m confident that I will be able to withstand the temptation.” -Hahahaha Snape you bastard!
"But he’s obviously more paranoid about appearing paranoid." -hahahahaha omg honestly, give a man a break! Do you know how hard it must be to give a piss in the same room as all-hearing, all-seeing and all-smelling know it all??? Uncomfortable at the least!
"She happens to know the answer." -of course she does, but will she tell us? Of course not. WE will have to sit and wait. But if the answer is what I hope it is, there will be lots of fun, when anaconda makes appearance at last.
I have to say, I've always found cocks fascinating, squishy soft (like a soft toy) or magnificent and hard (like a wepon), hanging or standing, pissing or fucking -they are such a thrilling and entertaining equipment. God must be a woman!
I also feel very sorry for Hermione, since she's unable to "scratch the itch" she must be frustrated as hell. Her life is a torture :/
Anyway, I believe there is something slowly starting between them two :D
Thank you for a great chapter
Love Fox xx
Ohh and P.S.
I would love to visit Australia, but for now I have so much work, I hardly have time or will to do anything else. Hopefully one day.
Fox xx