Chapter 21
"The thought of losing all that snarky grey matter sent her into a pendantic panic." What a great sentance.
Lumpy McTrouserson. Muffy must stop drooling. Ha!
The dialogue in this chapter is utter perfection. It's smart, sassy, whitty and kept me laughing the whole time. Favorites were "I've got a heart-on for Sondheim," "I like seeing your eyes roll back like that," "I think I'm about to have a ducking orgasm," and "Snape tastes like butter pecan and bleach." Ducking riot. ;o)
It seems telling me to me that Hermione wanted to know more about Draco at dinner and that she's trying to prod Lucius into being a bit kinder to him. The emotional interaction between Lucius and Hermione was lovely, my heart hurts for the blasted man. That's talent, my dear. I've never liked Lucius until I started reading this story.
Hermione's intuition is breathtaking. The story is building and the crecendo is going to be either cataclysmic and stunning beyond belief - as I realize that's the only way you write. You're giving Hermione the things she needs in life - emotional connection with Draco, intellectual connection with Severus, social/cultural connection with Lucius, and of course a physical connectio with all three. I'm engrossed completely.
Chapter 20 –
I find Draco’s submissive personality really believable. You have done an excellent job in building the backstory to this point. And this chapter was great, I’m not sure why you weren’t so sure.
‘His ink-blotted angel. Why did she have quills stuck in her messy ponytail?’ – hahah, nice continuation from last chapter.
‘Crookshanks had been using them for batting practice’ – I’d like to use Crookshanks for batting practice . . . only joking! I meant the devil cat ;)
‘His cock wanted her to be in control for a bit too. Or forever.’ – smitten!
‘the latter tied his tongue into a neat bow of self-preservation’ – lovely, telling simile.
‘some of her fury to shine on him’ – I really loved this, sort of an oxymoron but demonstrating his respect for that part of her personality.
‘There was an art to verbal exclusion’ – there certainly is ;)
‘But he'd be ready to swoop in and catch her when she finally wore herself out.’ – I really loved this line. It demonstrates both acceptance and longevity.
‘as if she’d already been shagged into disarray’ – lovely visual.
I must admit I struggle with the submissive animal behaviours. I can’t quite conjure up the mindset for that. But Draco was similarly unsure of how to take it so I don’t feel like I’m alone ;)
‘Mycockmycockmycock’ – bahahah!
‘Bless the banshees!’ – hahah, that’s a new one!
One minor correction . . .
‘That ‘s right’ – funny apostrophe.
Now I plan to catch up very soon. I’m really enjoying this xx
Chapter 19
I really enjoyed this chapter – funny and honest and a nice insight into where Hermione’s mind is at with the three men in hand.
‘soaking her knickers with scholarly enthusiasm’ – unfortunately so few of my scholarly pursuits induce a similar reaction ;)
‘blow them all away with her sexpertise and get the extra credit at the end.’ – bahahaha
‘Gods she missed homework!’ – hilarious and very Hermione.
‘Telling herself not to be so weird’ – Reminds me of that excellent line from Annette Benning to Kevin Spacey in American Beauty - “Darling . . . don’t be weird.”
‘A yes on the cocks, but a no on the tongues?’ – always a yes on the cocks.
‘there was no snake wrangling subsection’ – I love how we’ve both gone with the ginormous Snape cock this time. Actually I think I have done that just about every time come to think of it ;)
‘whatever they were they weren’t scalping her mound.’ – I’m with Hermione on this.
‘Maybe she could anonymously owl him an enema bulb or something’ – so cunningly subtle!
'hobble about on rickety legs of self-denial.’ – or a stumpy leg of self-denial as the case may be J
‘Hermione was a molting mallard’ – funny but harsh self-appraisal.
‘detach itself from her body and run after him, clutching at his robes and dragging him back for more.’ – hahaha, brilliant visual.
‘Probably just the same except nobody would have called her bossy.’ – Bam! Take that boys!
Lovely witty ending.
Chapter 20
Makes my heart ache with how sad and guarded Draco is in the beginning of this chapter. The characterization for setting him up as a sub was very well done, but I'm not surprised. You're magnificent at perfect characterization.
"Fucking hell! Losing the one layer.....but that probably wan't allowed" - missed edit = wasn't.
"Don't you dare come, Draco." He tone... - missed edit = Her
"Obviously. If she'd been touching him there, he would have been coming all over the carpet." - snort, snort, giggle. Love!
Hermione as the dominent....well....when my jaw retracts from the floor it just hit....O.O Just kidding, that was hot. I've always liked seeing her as the sub, but the roll reversal was exciting to read. Especially with how pleased she was with herself. Another great piece, avidly awaiting the next chapter.
x~*LissaDrea
Chapter 18
I really enjoyed this chapter and the more intellectual wrangling. Snape’s characterisation is excellent.
Lovely intro, I won’t paste it all back. Excellent scene setter.
‘actually could put a stopper in death’ – clever and Snape-ish
‘Some people fancied the coast—Severus fancied ramshackle dumps where his life had been threatened on multiple occasions’ – nice, honest, self-deprecation.
‘He needed someone who wanted to converse, not inform.’ – I like this insight into his relationship with Minnie.
‘Her glared could have melted marble’ – ‘glare’?
‘cataloging her ticks and tells for future reference’ – I love ‘ticks and tells’ – is that a saying?
I enjoyed the scientific review very much, your research time was well spent J
‘My classroom seems lifeless without your hand forever waving about in the air’ – bahahah, burn!
‘I know this probably foreplay’ – missing ‘is’
Hmmm, now I wonder what was in the book? The sorts of things you would have on your own bookshelves perhaps? I like where this relationship is going ;)
“they most definitely didn’t wet themselves imagining the pages of outlines and citations that might ensue. She had issues.” --- If this is true, I have issues as well. LOL!
“Hermione grinned and checked the spine. Nothing there either. That sneaky bastard.” --- Bloody brilliant idea. Excuse me while I go deface some books.
“And if she was with all three of them, she’d be wanking till the break of dawn. Perhaps she should invest in a wrist brace. Or an arm sling.” --- Bahahahaha
“Well, whatever they were they weren’t scalping her mound.” --- Don’t drink something while reading this part. My nose is burning.
“Holy Hufflepuffs!” – Dude, can I steal this?! Love!
Another brilliant chapter…I’m starting to go through smut withdrawals, though. ;o) Thank goodness DS had a nice hot chapter right around the same time! Do you still beta read on FF.net? I could use your services if you do (if you don’t, no worries). I haven’t figured out how to go about requesting one.
More please!
Cheers! ~*Lissa
I don't think I've ever related to Hermione more than I do right now! One of the most exciting things my husband had me do was read a book called Domination and Submission and write a small review on each chapter. I was unbelievably excited by the reading, the material, and the homework, lol!
Great chapter! While you write beautiful smut, which is always appreciated, I find my favorite moments are when you delve into Hermione's brain (and sexual exploration). She is hilarious and totally relatable. And I love the feminist, sexually liberated perspective!
On another note, I was totally team Draco before (not alone in that regard, I see), but the last couple of chapters have gotten me intrigued my Severus and Lucius both. Can't wait to see what happens next :)
And this was the day Hermione decided to join a gym. Love.it! Her monologues omg! HILARIOUS!!!!!!
Chapter 17
I really liked the deeper insight into Lucie and further explanation of his bond with Snape and issues with Draco.
‘lingering unease of visceral flashbacks that dampened his brow with sweaty panic.’ – nice.
‘Left alone with his only his morbid thoughts’ – needs to lose the ‘his’ before ‘only’
‘they’d all be right to worry’ – ‘been’?
‘wilting like a time-lapsed flower.’ – lovely visual.
‘People would walk all over him if he let his emotions run riot.’ – harsh words from a man who was crumbling under the weight of his own.
‘His loyalty to Lily had simply preceded his loyalty to the Dark Lord’ – I really like the loyalty angle here. It feels extremely accurate of Snape.
‘he was just as needy as Draco. A cringe-worthy epiphany if ever there was one.’ – ahhhh, there it is! :)
‘But maybe that should have surprised him so much’ – ‘shouldn’t’?
‘an attempt buy’ – missing ‘to’.
‘It’s the nectar, you see. The night air draws it out until it’s spilling down the stamen.”’ – I like both his turn of phrase and innuendo.
‘Dip her pudenda in a tub of strawberries and champagne?’ - bahahaha, don’t we all? ;)
‘quick volley of strokes’ – I love ‘volley’ in this.
‘squirming his dick even deeper with a sinuous swirl of her pelvis’ – perfect alliteration.
Loved how they ended on a squelchy high. Mmmmm!