Chapter 37 –
Well I must say I’m impressed that you have managed to keep this going for four chapters. I struggled with writing just the one.
Another lovely titillating chapter but I always get this sinking feeling when Draco declares his love for her. I just sense his poor little heart is going to struggle to cope in the future.
‘his father and Snape weren’t betting on him to take home the Most Valuable Player trophy that night’ – hahah, excellent!
‘valley between each hillock’ – loved the topographical visual.
‘neural capabilities were suddenly restricted to breathing and blinking’ – that’s pretty well me at the moment.
‘incursion’ – now then, it seems I’m not the only author to use such a word!
‘Please, little clit, for the love of all that is holy’ – this made me LOL.
‘idly scissoring her nipple between his fingers’ – scissoring was perfect here.
‘And a bit stickier than Shakespeare had let on.’ – Hahaha, clever – and what a time to insert Shakespeare into the proceedings!
‘very impressed with Lucius’s ability to handle all that meat without loping around the manor the next day like a saddle-sore cowboy’ – there is so much to enjoy about this sentence.
‘No, Aunt Pittypat, I do not have any smelling salts’ – this seriously cracked me up. Where did you get ‘Aunt Pittypat’ from?
‘refuge of bathroom’- missing a ‘the’
So Snape will be the one to do the aftercare I imagine – a pretty powerful place to be in this dynamic. Looking forward to seeing how that goes! X
Your stories make me want to "swoon" like ina historical novel. Putting my hand up for next in line for "magic sperm"! Lol. Keep up the great work.
Chapter 35
I got a bit carried away with this chapter and the next one and had to come back to it when my hands were free.
So here I am. And of course I loved it with my favourite in the driving seat.
Lots of things to love:
‘shadow of sleep’s approaching thrall’ – deliciously poetic
‘her foot lightly rubbing along his calf like a dying second hand winding to a stop’ – brilliant simile
‘from spending the majority of his nights in bleak solitude to being buried alive by lovers’ – I really liked this contrast for him . . . emphasises his understanding of what he has gained and his word use implies that he accepts them all.
‘Draco, who was so hungry for affection—especially from an older man’ – okay, so this implies some sort of platonic affection but then the following seemed to suggest more . . . did you say non-sexual?
‘stiff cherry blossoms piercing the open air’ – I loved this whole thing. Always up for new nipple descriptions ;)
‘Severus as the only witness to his stifled humanity’ – lovely depth.
‘propping himself up with it for so long that it had worn a groove in his psyche’ – poignant and beautifully written.
‘brilliant idea unraveled over the landscape of his imagination’ – another lovely descriptor
‘excited to for the’ – take out ‘to’
‘Luckily, his cock was always a crowd pleaser.’ – Mmmm, always ;)
‘explode like a five-foot Christmas cracker’ – bahahah!
‘It looked as if her pussy was in spasm, its mouth opening in a silent scream and then snapping shut with each contraction’ – I didn’t know whether to laugh, be turned on, or to be a bit morbidly fascinated with this – I think I did all three :D
Lucius reached over and reverently touched the spot Severus had just kissed, as if he could feel the after-burn of affection warming her skin. “My turn, princess.” – Ooh, I loved this ending . . . shivers.
Onto the next . . . again ;)
I did love Draco’s chapter, especially where he mouthed I love you into Hermione’s neck. I have really enjoyed the daily updates this week.
Your update totally brightened my otherwise bleak Monday morning. Love reading this story. Your Draco melts my heart.
Love this story! I see it's been over a month since the last update. Can't wait for the next one. Will it be much longer?
Chapter 34 -
This one was short but very revealing.
‘field of gooseflesh to sprout up the length of his spine’ – soooo delicious
‘cock-filling’ – I just like this as a term.
‘He could feel the thump of her heart front to back.’ – I could really imagine this – palpable.
‘inky silhouette dancing to the bed fast as a Snitch’ – Fantastic. I can absolutely see it in my mind’s eye.
‘He didn’t sound so knackered anymore.’ – hahah, I bet he didn’t J
(‘a lot fast the’ – sb faster)
‘When everything was finally still and quiet. Draco took one last deep breath’ – sb a comma instead of a full stop.
‘It from an old Muggle program on the telly. American. You’d hate it.”’ – LOL. We used to say that too! Also, the first word should be ‘It’s’
‘Severus would stake his tongue to the front lawn’ – bahaha, croquet anyone?
(‘his tongue remain’ – missing ‘to’)
Now, the Severus fondling. I’m not gonna lie . . . sort of felt a bit creepy to me. No doubt he has his motives and no doubt they involve Hermione’s wishes but . . . mmmm, I’m really wondering where this is going. And what will his Dad think? What a tangled web you're weaving here woman!
Chapter 33 –
Sorry I’m late with this one. I wasn’t expecting two quick posts this time. Especially when I’ve been so tardy ;)
There were some especially lovely turns of phrase in this chapter.
‘Snape’s right eyebrow rose to help pry open his eyelid, and he peered at Lucius like a haughty pirate.’ – Excellent visual, I can so imagine this. And I love a piratey Snape.
‘And if I’m treating her like my wife, maybe that’s because I miss having a wife!” His voice cracked on the last word, and he clenched his jaw in fury that Snape had goaded him so expertly.’ – love the emotion conveyed by this sad admission.
‘It would be like training wheels for her first buggering.’ – this made me snort :)
‘He loved that backdraft of excitement that flared through those brown eyes whenever her senses overwhelmed her logic. Boom-whoosh! In a split second she could be completely immolated by lust.’ – lots of excellence here, I especially liked ‘backdraft’ and ‘immolated’.
‘cliteration’ – hahah, word book!
‘eyelids shuddered to slits’ – I really liked ‘shuddered’ and may have to use it.
‘head lolling as if she were aboard a ship on choppy waters’ – I know a good word for this . . . starts with ‘p’ ;)
‘Her appreciative moan traveled down the digit and echoed in his palm.’ – echoed was brilliant.
‘his crooked teeth peeked out from behind a loose smile that hadn't been seen in years’ – I really loved this image of Sev. Very real.
Now, I don’t have to wait for the next – perfect!! x
I've been reading this story for ages but I've never reviewed. I had to this time. That last chapter was bloody brilliant. The Waltons reference was hilarious. I burst out laughing I could just picture it. This Draco is so adorable. Can't wait for more.
Chapter 32 –
‘The shit hitting the fan might not be coming from the direction you expect. (That's the only clue I can give.)’ – Ooh, do I detect a twist or two coming up? You know how much I enjoy those :)
‘We eat here every night . . . right where Nagini devoured Charity Burbage like a rodent soufflé. You can barely see the chip in the cherry.’ – Lovely turn of phrase and I like this insight into the reality of life after Voldemort. The macabre of the mundane.
I do enjoy the new sensual snogging Snape. I’ll be interested to hear his take on the about face.
I almost have a thing for Draco’s big grey puppy eyes . . . almost but not quite . . . that’s pretty good for me (or a pretty good effort by you) ;)
Ahhhh, the Tango – yay!!
‘raging against her belly’ – mmmm, very nice.
‘stink eye’ – hahaha, never heard that one – perfect.
Is it just me or are things going a little too well? The calm before the storm? Or is that just in my head? I’m excited to think what might be in store . . . I do like a bit of angst . . . especially of late. Any more clues as I’ve never been good at patience . . . please??