Really sweet! I liked the double wishes part especially.
Slight usage errors (since you asked if we spotted any)
Without deigning TO GIVE the house elves...14 paragraphs down when Lucius comes home.
There was a high pitched (not pitching) sound...5 paragraphs after the BOOM
I would love to see a continuation of this one. Especially when they have Harry examined and Severus discovers that his Lily’s boy was hurt and starved. I would love to see Dumbledore talk his way out of this one. Would they discover about Sirius still being listed as Guardian? Would Remus or any other friends show up? Hmm.
Love! If you ever decide, u should totally make a sequel to this.
Very good story.
But i see one MAJOR mistake. It is a oneshot. I think you should make it into a full blown story.