How about eagerly? Did I mention my all nighter?
I look forward to reading Harry Potter and the Zombie Apocalypse. 8-)
Typo in Chapter 46: "To one side of Voldemort stood Wormtail, and to the other, Bellatrix Lestrange. A small number of Death Eaters - most of them liberated when Voldemort had taken Akaban..."
Now write, damn you! WWWRRRIIIIIIIIIIIITE!!!!! :D
i love Hermione's Furry Little Problem, its a good twist on the story, i was reading it when i was supposed to be studying for finals (which i passed anyways whoo :) ) and i saw this one and im like i like this person lmao.
A bit of an error near the end of this chapter. You say that Jennifer gets nervous when she spots four people she's never met before, but then you mention that Luna brings three newcomers with her. It should be four newcomers.
I don't understand how anyone could complain about your characterizations, I think they're fabulous. I also don't understand why they would read so far into a story if they didn't like how the characters were being portrayed.
I will definitely be checking out your other story. Keep up the good work!
“…the potentiality of their spells continue to ascend from one pinnacle to another - soaring to ever greater heights…”
Now THERE is an evocative mental image. Wow!
I like the new chapter title, too. It is lyrical in a way that suits the “miracle” that occurs. To put it another way; as you know (and have demonstrated many times), a chapter title can be used to mentally prepare the reader for what is to come. Sometimes this effect is subconscious. “The Lightning-Struck Tower” is a phrase that unsettles the reader, yet gives no warning of the traumatic climax to that chapter of The Half-Blood Prince. I previously wrote that the transmogrification was a little difficult to swallow. Chapter 44’s new title pulls together the ground-work that you have been laying for several chapters and prepares us for the payoff when the miracle comes. Great job!
There are so many terrific moments in this chapter: The discussions of up-bringing vs. character, and of blood-status & Hogwarts houses in relation to prejudice, to name two. I do not know if you are intentionally creating allegories to events in the United States - You have been writing this since long before the current strife. Your observations on character, prejudice, courage, authoritarianism, transparency and more have a timeless relevance that transcends the headlines and works much better than overt, ham-fisted (and to the reader 20 years from now, dated) symbolism.
Another thing at which you excel is writing scenes with many characters. I once heard a professional writer/editor gush with envy over Robert Heinlein’s ability to write dialogue between four characters where she could tell exactly who was saying what. You are doing this with twice as many characters, some of whom have only a single line – yet each voice & opinion is distinct and consistent with the character speaking.
Speaking of consistent characters, I was an early booster of the Severus / Narcissa relationship. I’m glad to see this moving forward even if it is off-screen (It would make for some good vignettes should you ever want to write spin-off stories). What amuses me is that although he has had this huge change in his fortunes on every level, he is still Severus Snape. That you can show this in only two lines of dialogue is nothing short of brilliance.
I look forward to every new installment.
As of Chapter 44 you’re so far off the map I’m not sure we can SEE the map any more. ;) That’s OK, Your characters are solidly written and familiar despite massively changed circumstances. You’ve got a great and compelling story to tell, and you’re bringing it to us with confidence and panache. Your writing is professional-grade.
Initially, I felt a bit of disappointment at the “transmogrification” (I didn’t know that word existed outside of ‘Calvin & Hobbes’). It struck me as too “neat” a solution to a thorny problem. However, the explanation that followed was adequate balm. You’re getting better at integrating the “techno-babble” in such a way that it seems organic to the scene. It helps that you keeps such dialogues short and to-the-point, but the real key (as I see it) is your use of Hermione as your translator (whether figuring-out things aloud or explaining them to Harry). More than any of the other characters (including the faculty at Hogwarts), she probably has the best cross-over knowledge between muggle science and magic.
On the other hand…
“…their spells continue to cross from one rubicon to another - soaring to ever greater heights and generating unpredictable effects…”
Here comes the nit-pick (and it’s kind of a big one, seeing how it’s the title of the chapter): I don’t think “crossing the Rubicon” is the correct metaphor for the eponymous event in this chapter. In general usage, the phrase refers to crossing a point of no return – a singular and dramatic moment – whereas you seem to want to describe a repeated ladder-up effect. Even if you were referring only to the specific change that accidentally happened to your character, this metaphor is not appropriate. “Crossing the Rubicon” in its proper context refers to a deliberate action that someone decides to take that they know they cannot take back (Historically, it refers to Julius Caesar's army's crossing the Rubicon River (which is why it is capitalized) in 49 BC, which was considered an act of treason and rebellion. Julius Caesar uttered the famous phrase "alea iacta est" - the die is cast - as his army forded the stream.
One last note: I had a twinge of sorrow at the mention of Ollivander, having read of the death of John Hurt less than an hour before. Rest in peace, sir; and thank you for so many amazing performances.
loving it.
This story is just a rehash of 'Hermione's Furry little problem' on FF Archive, with some changes. Disappointing.
Hmm...they 'require' a place to practice where they won't be seen. Hmm... ;-)
In case I haven't mentioned this before, this is an absolutely brilliant story. The plot is fabulous and well thought out, and the writing quality is as high as any published book. I am very glad I found this story.
This would be a great take on the story except for the hopping backwards and forwards in time. Flashbacks are a terrible way to write a story.