My God, these last two chapters made my brain melt! Thanks for delivering a double helping of Severus. I'd wished for one in Accidental Affair, and you granted my wish. You have my vote for an epilogue!
Hello,
I so rarely review, but I'm enjoying this soooo much. I vote for a chapter 4! I think Severus' POV would be great. I think we need to follow his desperate loss of control down the rabbit hole ( as it were) just a little bit more. This story has also yet to reach a satisfying conclusion (i.e. an end to the night preferably where feelings are dealt with, in the most fun way, if possible). I understand as a fellow writer that we become waylayed by things like writers block and god forbid real life but I'd love another chapter real soon.
The wandering angel
Your story is very good. Very vidid!
Great work!
'... on the off chance' - You're joking, right? Yes, please give us a nice conclusion of this story, however many chapters it takes! :-) As to the POV - well done with your second Severus' POV. Not that there was too much thinking involved (probably still more than with your average person during several iterations of certain exhausting, physical activities) - more feeling, but that is to be expected in such situations, I think. ;) I would say, show us both perspectives. Now, we've had lots and lots of them physically expressing their emotions, but I believe they should give verbal a try - especially to clear up that no, both do not want their association to end at one night. Even if it's just something like 'Okay, this worked well, wanna repeat it...frequently? On a regular basis? - Yes, let's!' Maybe the brave Gryffindor should make the start. Sev is quite certain to follow - not that she can be sure of that. Okay, so much for my own conjectures.
On to this chapter which was - WOW! Pretty much indescribably good. And they're getting more and more intimate and emotional. Very kind of you, to let Hermione get to a bed after that workout on some pretty uncomfortable furniture. One small thing I believe to be a wrong word is 'whilst stealing glances as her'. I am quite certain, that 'as' is supposed to be an 'at'. Everything else was again wonderful to read. One more thing I keep forgetting to mention: Are you competing for some title of 'Queen of Alliterations'? And if so, with whom? It adds much more humor to these situations, but comes into play so frequently as to not be accidental...
Till next time and hopefully another chapter!
Have a nice weekend
LeWyKi
Thank you once again! Her trust in him was perfect, as was his awe in her. If another chapter is to come (fingers crossed), I like the idea of both perspectives. I wonder if she figures out a way to keep him... :-) Thanks! HG4eva
Damn. That was hot. You are exceptional at writing erotic scenes. Well done.
Feel free to continue ;)
This is such a wonderful story! I loved the first chapter,it was so sensual, then the next two (which I read back to back) were so devious I'm practically drooling over what might happen next. Please write another chapter, please!!!!
I loved Severus's POV this time. Blisteringly hot. And the alliteration was stupendous, but I had to stop listing them all so I could coherently read without taking notes.
"He could still feel her walls hitching and grabbing around him."--Hitching made me love this.
"remained in repose, superbly snug, basking blissfully"--I liked your three set of alliteration.
"fetchingly feline"--Love this.
"his fingers prickling with unspent hexes."--Love this too.
("He hadn’t want to take advantage of her and her penchant . . ."--wanted.)
"Did she feel him awakening inside her? "--Fuck! This is excellent.
"riding the curve of his chin"--God dammit. This is perfect. My rough draft is shit. Must go rewrite.
"her eyelids had sunk like half-moons as he’d ground into her, slipping over the swell of her deliciously dilating pupils"--Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck. I'm in the midst of a word wetty.
"salacious sewers"--Oh thank God! I have a label for my mind map now. People are always getting lost in the kinky kitchen or lacivious living room, but I keep telling them to turn left and go down the stairs. It's the only way to get to the lusty library and Dungeons of Desire. No shortcuts.
"Now it was on a tight deadline. So incredibly tight."--Bahahahaha!
(whilst stealing glances as her over his clasped hands.--at her)
"and, as it turned out, to rub into the rump of certain students that happened to drop by and were keen for an all-night fuck-a-thon."--Hahahaha.
"slippery succubus"--Yeeeeeeees!
"at the scalloped edge of her opening"--Damn you! I love this. Why didn't I come up with it first?
"his frock coat clamped between her teeth."--Excellent visual.
"Make me sure.”--God dammit. I'm going to have to use that line in real life some day.
"his cock would be her anchor. And he needed to be able to swivel her smoothly around that point."--Fuuuuuck! You're killing me with words and hotness.
"to accommodate his solid intrusion."--Unh!
(His cock was now buried over half way inside her delicious virgin opening--halfway is one word)
"his heart staggered."--Love it.
(He split his fingers and reamed his cock between them and her face, which was now tilted slightly towards him seemed to lose all tone . . .--Put a comma between that first "them" and "and". Right now it sounds like he's reaming his cock between his fingers and her face.)
"He split his fingers and reamed his cock between them"--Oh and, by the way, this is hot as fuck and makes me wish I had another hand.
You are the succubus, not Hermione. Who else would tease us all so mercilessly? You know everyone wants more. Stop pretending you haven't started the next chapter already. (I know you too well.) You're gorging yourself on duck wraps and evilly drumming your fingers together a la Mr. Burns.
Add me to the pile of those who loved this second chapter! Superb. -dezzu
YOU again! Damn you
... not really - you made me watch In Demand in repeat ALL NIGHT. Good thing I got the DVD. I love Tango although I cannot dance it.
Thanks a lot
And thank you so much for the second part. This was smoking hot. And I totally agree with all here: Intelligence is a huge turn-on.