rate_review Reviews

I loved this chapter. (I say that every time, don't I? Tis true.) Snape acting out his chapter was too hilarious. Gee, I don't know anyone who does that. :) And how often I've wished for male model to test my positioning with. Alas, I must make due with the Snape in my head. Favs this time: "not unless he had the peripheral vision of a halibut"--Snort. This was great. It might be one of my top fives. "trying to will him and his agonising feline undulations from her mind"--I don't know why I liked this, but it made me smile, so I have to mention it. "only for the sake of literary authenticity of course."--Of course :) "Bring . . . it . . . on."--How often I've said this. Unfortunately no one has. "when her hand brushed the underside, he tensed visibly. Five points to Gryffindor."--More snorting. "She wondered how just how sustained its solicitations got." Cock-based solicitations are my favorite. "sexual neophyte"--I just like these words together. "before releasing the urinary equivalent of Niagara Falls."--I think urinary equivalent made this a million times funnier to me. "crafted and lacquered by his honeyed vocals"--Excellent. "He was going to leave it flabbergasted—a totally shocked pussy."--I love this. "Fireworks peppered her vision" Peppered was perfect. "her snatch might suddenly explode out of her zipper and attack him like some sort of killer Venus flytrap. Eating him, cock first. Devouring him until— “I’m sorry?” “I didn’t say anything,” Hermione mumbled. “You were muttering something. It sounded like, ‘Yum, yum, yum.’”--Hahahahaha! This whole part was fabulous. "Two blurry, fuzzy wuzzy Snapes. And now three. She giggled. What would she do with three Snapes? One in the front, one in the back and one in her gob. That would work. “Do you think so?” He stared at her. Oh fuck! She was thinking out loud again!"--Hahahaha! This whole chapter was painfully hilarious. I hope Snape can make her feel better. And that was a great cliff hanger.

I have yet to test out any dick-tripping ladle-testing. The opportunity has not arisen (so to speak). Goddam, your recall of Blackadder lines is amazing. All I can pull of the top of my head is "I have a cunning plan." And I assure you the Jolly Green Giant was just a bystander (or a kickstand-er) in my machinations. He's extremely amenable and goes along with all my ideas without a word of complaint. He's a bit easy to be honest. I really liked this chapter. And I'm not entirely sure of my reasons. It could be the unresolved sexual tension. Or maybe it was the interaction between them. Although caustic, Snape is obviously trying to make a good impression on her (so he must have enjoyed her handling of his ladle to some extent). And he seems to be trying to dissuade her drinking, which is thoughtful of him even if he's doing it for selfish reasons. He seems torn between fascination and revulsion. Then there are the little moments of intimacy between them (like talking about his drawing). Hermione's need to turn to alcohol at the least suggestion of discomfort is sad (but realistic). She seems desperate for his contact (not just sexually). There were many excellently described images this chapter (Snape sitting on the couch comes to mind first.) I haven't figured out yet if Snape is trying to drive her crazy or not. It seems like he is, but that just makes her drink more, which he doesn't like. He better fuck her soon before she gets alcohol poisoning.

Another great chapter. I loved Snape's reaction to Hermione's addition. Too hilarious. And I've got to start tripping into more dicks. That's the only proper way to get to know someone. Favorite parts to this time: "like a ghoul’s liquor cabinet."--So excellent. "A single dip of his beak was all the acknowledgement she’d received"--Loved this visual. "Mutilation fantasies perhaps? "--Hahahaha! "His mouth clamped shut in a tight fissure of disapproval."--Fissure of disapproval was glorious. "which held all the enthusiasm of a fence post."--Snort! "suddenly wished that the jolly fire in the grate would fuck off."--I think it was the contrast of jolly and fuck off that made this so great. "his deep moan colliding with her lips,"--Colliding made this the most fabulous sentence. "eagerly targeting her with its one good eye.”--I snorted with Snape on this one. "A ladle?"--Bwhahahaha! "Hermione Danger Granger sounded fucking stupid."--This killed me. And I hadn't recovered from the ladle yet, so it was particularly deadly. Oh, and I fucking love Blackadder. (But I can not place a heavy shopping line. Refresh my memory.) And my injuries were not caused by glass, they were caused by improper riding prep work. The Jolly Green Giant was just an innocent bystander in the midst of my muscle-straining melee. Stretching is a must.

This was hilarious. And hot. My fav combo. And now I'm curious if Severus has been bitten by the fantasy bug yet. It's hard to keep your thoughts on the straight and narrow when you know someone is thinking about you sexually. Favorite lines this time: "Hermione’s vibrator buzzed like a drunken bumblebee."--Hahaha. I've been putting bees on your brain, haven't I? :) "like the drunken bumblebee had stopped to pick up some heavy shopping."--This cracked me up. "Well done, me."-- I loved Hermione's whole inner monologue this chapter, but this line made me snort. "And the band played on"--Okay, another snort. "trusty hand crank"--:D She needs to switch to glass. The Jolly Green Giant never needs batteries (and it counts as my arm workout . . . or thigh workout depending on how he assists me). (Feel the burn.) Looking forward to the next chapter. It sounds like Snape sex is already helping Hermione. (Even if it still just in her head.)

Hahahaha! Snape? Accidentally? No way. I can't imagine what was in it that he wanted to hide. The content can't pertain to him--it sounds far too old. Very curious. Great new chapter. The tension builds. This is fun to read (read that as I don't have to think). Favorite lines: "seeking to draw the heat from her as effectively as a Dementor’s kiss."--I love this. "spearing the quill into its holder"--I know this is simple, but spearing made this notable. "hand over the bristles that had emerged like dusk upon his face"--Great. Tactile and visual. "infested with Flobberworm larvae."--Excellently gross. "your ankles"--Bahahahaha! "The gratuitous hair flick?”--Again, bahahahahhaha! "This is coming a close second to that event."--Burn! "tectonic in his inertia, his fingers slowly unfurling from his face like the fronds of a fern."--This was beyond excellent. "When I’ve seen to my bits . . . some bits . . . and pieces I have to deal with, I’ll . . . I’ll finish it off . . . this off,"--Hahaha! Loved the whole ending bit. He's a tricky tricky orator.

Great start to a new story. I personally like fucked-up Hermione. She sounds much less uptight . . . but still ready to fight. Plus I need some sarcastic Hermione in my life now (mine's going through a lot). So many great lines in this. "long echoing strides like a study in supercilious self-possession."--Great image and alliteration "he still held with all of the tension of someone trying not to fart."--Hahaha. Irreverent perfection. "his voice rang out like some morose bell with a particularly large clapper. Her hungover brain shrank away from her ears in protest."--Yes these are two totally different things, but I liked them both; so they get mentioned. "conducting an orchestra with his prominent beak.conducting an orchestra with his prominent beak."--Great comparison. "jiggling around her bellybutton like some sort of arrhythmic jellyfish."--Excellent. "galleon stallion"--hahahahaha! Of course the big mystery is why did Snape destroy the book? But I'm also wondering why Hermione is drunk all the time. Escapism? And obviously I want them to re-write the book. Hermione needs a little "tab A in slot B."

This seems to have a little bit of a plot missy x3 but all is well, please continue xD maybe we can get some elaboration on why our Hermione is wasted off her ass at work? :3

I'm so glad to see you're starting another story. :)

ok that meeting was so funny !!!! loved it , let;s see what happens next with them !!!!!

Thankyou!! This breaks the drought- there's been a serious lack of HG/SS stories lately!! Keep going and put some great stuff in that book! Looking forward to reading more as soon as its posted!