Chapter 16.
I have to say that Harry's behaviour is scary. I can't believe he manipulated everyone around them so much. Hermione is quite trapped. Sticky situation.
I also found a rather big inconsistency in your story. In the first chapter you say that Harry and Hermione have been friends, lovers and everything in between; in 5th chapter's flashback Snape realised that he was her first man and in 16th chapter's flashback you very clearly indicated that they slept together twice and planned a third time + almost having sex on the desk, before Snape interrupted. I think you need to fix this.
Thanks Fox xx
Chapter 17.
Harry is scary and unstable, I think Hermione needs to be very careful and clever -not emotional.
The last flashback was very sad. Poor Harry really suffered a lot since her disappearance
Thank you
Fox xx
Chapter 15.
At bloody last!
Run Hermione, run!
Ohh and it's good to see some more flashbacks.
Thank you for the update.
Fox xx
Hello!
Wow, so many things are more clear now, and yet there are things that are still a mystery… good work, congratulations.
I feel sorry for Harry, but I´m guessing that the curse has been activated and he´s acting under Dark Magic, so at least I would like to think that it´s not his fault (at least not entirely).
I still think that Snape is a bastard, and I completely agree that “He deserved more than hell for corrupting her innocence and taking advantage of her and their situation”. Reading the flashback made me feel so bad for Hermione, and I hated Snape for what he was doing to her. I mean, I understand that he saved her life, and she was cursed and couldn´t be with Harry and the Order, but he wanted her to forget about all the people she have in her life and be only with him, like a prisoner, only thinking about him, only loving him, only being with him, and he was happy that she was cursed that night… it was sick of him to think that Hermione was his reward from all the things, the “sacrifices”, he had to make. And he was lying to her, telling her that he can´t heal her from the curse, that he would take her back “if he could”, when in reality he didn´t want to go back. And if you think about him in the present, he´s even more evil, because he must know that Hermione is not healed, and he hasn´t say anything about it, and must know that the curse would be activated, and Hermione and Harry and the others would be in danger… So, I have only have bad feelings for Snape, and to be honest, I hope he would stay in jail… he deserved it. (I wonder if Draco would still want to help him once he knows that Snape knew about his mother dying).
About Hermione, well, one can´t stop feeling pity for her, she got the worse hand, didn´t she? Cursed, kidnaped by a monster, brain washed, with Stockholm Syndrome, unable to see the truth, unable to tell the truth about what happened to her, and now with Harry being possessive and kind of mad (from the curse, please?). She seems so weak, so I´m hoping that she gets better psychologically and now that she has escaped, can have some control over her life.
Again, good job, hope to see more soon.
Thank you
Ines
Absolutely amazing story so far! Brand new to adult-fafiction.org, and this is the first story I read. Loved it. Can't wait for more!
Chapter 14.
Marionne, bloody hell hurry up with the update! This is getting really exciting now. It's dark, yes, but also something stirs up at last.
I don't understand why Hermione can't go and live at the Malfoy Manor (ok maybe not the best place, given her history there) or somewhere else. Draco as the wealthiest man in Europe could surely provide a safe place for her... I know, the story wouldn't be as interesting then, but if I was her I would run as far as I could.
You know, this story is very mysterious. You share just little threads of memories and truths. I can't wait to learn all of it.
Waiting impatiently for more
Fox xx
P.S.
Also I wanted to let you know, that I found few instances, where you put "he" instead of "she" or other way around. :-)
Chapter 13.
"Good morning sweetheart" -? WTF?
I honestly don't understand why she still lives with him. Harry turns into a monster somehow... It doesn't look like an ordinary jealousy, it's very dark almost evil.
It is a very interesting story, I hope you will update shortly. Also I wanted to mention, that I feel confident reading it, because of your admission that things are planned, mapped and heading into a specific direction. I like that very much.
Thank you for the update.
Speak to you soon
Fox xx
This is your work? BLOODY HELL... OAO!!
(speechless for a few moments)
Pardon my speech, but actually this is one of those fanfics that was on my look-out list/the stories' eternal chapter queue.
I was already hooked by how you portrayed Harry as a lover and vengeful one at that. And the way you showed Hermione being torn emotionally by two men, to whom she cared too much. But now, as the story's progress it seems the favor is heavy in Severus's side (yay!).
The trials is really interesting, the way Hermione's fiercely fights for the truth and Harry's adult douchebag version of in denial self.....
I want to say more. But as promised, I had physically restrain myself to write in 'Hermione's essay' mode. xDDD
Did Narcissa tell Draco about Hermione. Did he look for he on the island?
???
Fox
So I guess Severus was brewing something for Narcissa and perhaps wasn't able to deliver the rest of it and she died. Am I correct?
Also I don't understand why Hermione slept with Harry if she loves Severus.
And another thing, Draco didn't see Severus since Harry's transfer, as he's been believed to be dead. But Severus was leaving the cottage, he shared with Hermione, to go to Hogwarts and play the headmaster. How's that?
Hmmm
Fox