schedule
December 25, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Nooooooo! You
schedule
December 22, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Oh merlin goodness you're a brilliant writer
Severus1snape
Severus1snape
schedule
December 22, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Whoa. I did not see that coming. Perhaps if you hadn't so brilliantly distracted me with sex, I would have been concentrating on the real plot line. The Scorpio in me wanted the answer to his problems to be sex. (The quickening always fades after he comes.) But infecting her extra corporeal body with the Galvanismus is much more interesting.
I'm scared for them, but excited to see what's going to happen.
You did a wonderful job portraying Hermione's thought process/emotions in this chapter. I could relate (but I'm pretty fucked up, so maybe I'm not the best litmus test).
Cathartic is a good word to sum up this whole chapter. It's good balance for all the distress they're both suffering. I think that's an important component of your writing. It's not all angst and pain. There's humor and, as in this chapter, a sense of hope. I think everyone needs that emotional break (both in stories and in real-life). People like having something to look forward to.
Usually I like your writing for very language-focused reasons (obviously I love the plot too or I wouldn't still be here). But I notice that you infuse the poetry of your paragraphs with the occasional purely honest phrase. (Not that honesty isn't poetic too
I'm scared for them, but excited to see what's going to happen.
You did a wonderful job portraying Hermione's thought process/emotions in this chapter. I could relate (but I'm pretty fucked up, so maybe I'm not the best litmus test).
Cathartic is a good word to sum up this whole chapter. It's good balance for all the distress they're both suffering. I think that's an important component of your writing. It's not all angst and pain. There's humor and, as in this chapter, a sense of hope. I think everyone needs that emotional break (both in stories and in real-life). People like having something to look forward to.
Usually I like your writing for very language-focused reasons (obviously I love the plot too or I wouldn't still be here). But I notice that you infuse the poetry of your paragraphs with the occasional purely honest phrase. (Not that honesty isn't poetic too
schedule
December 20, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Holy hell, you're fast. I was getting ready to come back and point out a few more things I liked from 13 during my subsequent one-handed reads, but you've already got a new chapter up.
My prognostications were only partially right. I guessed that they were having the same dream and that they were somehow connected by the potion. (I did not foresee that she had actually taken more potion.) So I was interested to find out how they dealt with the aftermath the next day.
I loved Snape's reaction. The smiling. The rail-stroking. The suggestive quips. The "riding high" and "Do you need a hand in there?" lines were great.
Hermione's arguing with herself about how to handle things and was she to blame was well done. It was realistic and a wonderful emotional connection for the reader. We get to experience both Snape's enjoyment and Hermione's uncertainty.
I did love the hand-groping scene. I managed to catch myself just wiggling my finger in preparation.
Noted phrases that I haven't mentioned yet (chosen either for imagery or just because I liked the words):
"...flea in a fit."
"...adhering to him, instead, like the electrostatic attraction of a rubbed balloon."
"He watched closely as a feature film of emotions played out on her face."
"...gliding along the crevices and squeezing apart the pockets of tension."
"... before thoroughly disarticulating every fibre of his hand..."
"...his release would simultaneously release her from the burden of her guilt."
"He
My prognostications were only partially right. I guessed that they were having the same dream and that they were somehow connected by the potion. (I did not foresee that she had actually taken more potion.) So I was interested to find out how they dealt with the aftermath the next day.
I loved Snape's reaction. The smiling. The rail-stroking. The suggestive quips. The "riding high" and "Do you need a hand in there?" lines were great.
Hermione's arguing with herself about how to handle things and was she to blame was well done. It was realistic and a wonderful emotional connection for the reader. We get to experience both Snape's enjoyment and Hermione's uncertainty.
I did love the hand-groping scene. I managed to catch myself just wiggling my finger in preparation.
Noted phrases that I haven't mentioned yet (chosen either for imagery or just because I liked the words):
"...flea in a fit."
"...adhering to him, instead, like the electrostatic attraction of a rubbed balloon."
"He watched closely as a feature film of emotions played out on her face."
"...gliding along the crevices and squeezing apart the pockets of tension."
"... before thoroughly disarticulating every fibre of his hand..."
"...his release would simultaneously release her from the burden of her guilt."
"He
schedule
December 20, 2015 at 12:00 AM
What an atonement!! Poor golden girl needing so badly to fix her mistakes. I'm glad Severus told her to stop blaming herself, but will she listen??
schedule
December 18, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Okay, I intended to keep a running record of all the phrases I loved in this, but that has proven to be impractical since there's something in just about every sentence that I found noteworthy. I'd just be copying your entire chapter back to you and saying "This was my favorite part."
I'll have to be more general. Let's go by section.
Opening on a rock-hard Snape was marvelous. Boners are a brilliant way to begin. The descriptions were vivid and hot.
I love the part where he tries to bite his lip like her. Funny and sweet and the imagery was great. His fancies about fucking the towel were wonderfully erotic. Excellent start.
The whole dream sequence was delicious
I'll have to be more general. Let's go by section.
Opening on a rock-hard Snape was marvelous. Boners are a brilliant way to begin. The descriptions were vivid and hot.
I love the part where he tries to bite his lip like her. Funny and sweet and the imagery was great. His fancies about fucking the towel were wonderfully erotic. Excellent start.
The whole dream sequence was delicious
schedule
December 18, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Ahhhh Hermione has the lusty hots for Severus!! Haha! Can feel the tide turning and it appears it will be glorious indeed!
schedule
December 16, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Brillaint i hope u carry this story on.
schedule
December 15, 2015 at 12:00 AM
I am a latecomer to this story, but I am in love. I love the plot. I love your writing style. I love that you referenced Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. I'm addicted, and I can't wait to read more from you.
I just read all the chapters you have up in one big marathon, and there is just too much goodness for me to list everything that had me giggling with delight. It's so rare to find stories that turn me on in a literary capacity. I love the double-penetration of juicy word play and sensual imagery reaming my brain at the same time. Yes! And you topped it all off by having a fabulous plot. Bravo.
There is a broad gamut of moods depicted here, from playfulness to solemnity, and I thought you handled them all masterfully. (The interrogation with Mr. Harris had me laughing like a lunatic.) Your characterizations are excellent. The plot is intriguing and well thought out. (I don't if you actually have planned what's coming, but it seems like it
I just read all the chapters you have up in one big marathon, and there is just too much goodness for me to list everything that had me giggling with delight. It's so rare to find stories that turn me on in a literary capacity. I love the double-penetration of juicy word play and sensual imagery reaming my brain at the same time. Yes! And you topped it all off by having a fabulous plot. Bravo.
There is a broad gamut of moods depicted here, from playfulness to solemnity, and I thought you handled them all masterfully. (The interrogation with Mr. Harris had me laughing like a lunatic.) Your characterizations are excellent. The plot is intriguing and well thought out. (I don't if you actually have planned what's coming, but it seems like it
schedule
December 13, 2015 at 12:00 AM
And now they will become real lovers....