schedule
May 3, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Ch. 3
"Blinking green and bouncing red.//Like Christmas had thrown up all around him. . . ."
LOL, love that simile! (I *think* it's a simile, but regardless, it's a great description.) I loved this chapter, especially the scene in the bathroom. That was just . . . wow! *fanning self* Although I'm not sure why Draco thinks Harry has spoiled everything. Because he didn't leave right away? Guess I should keep on reading, huh? ;-)
A couple of corrections:
"'Stop shouting!' Draco counted, squeezing his eyes shut as. . . . " Think you meant "countered"?
"'You can share ours though until their done.' Weasley said, slapping Draco on the back like that made everything okay."
Should be "until they're done," with a comma after "done" instead of a period (or full stop, if you're British) since what follows after is a continuation of that sentence. It's the same as if you had written "Slapping him on the back, Weasley said, 'You can share ours though until they're done.'" Does my explanation make sense?
" . . . He held himself taunt, felt his body string tight as pleasure rippled through him. . . ." Taut, not taunt.
On to the next Ch!
"Blinking green and bouncing red.//Like Christmas had thrown up all around him. . . ."
LOL, love that simile! (I *think* it's a simile, but regardless, it's a great description.) I loved this chapter, especially the scene in the bathroom. That was just . . . wow! *fanning self* Although I'm not sure why Draco thinks Harry has spoiled everything. Because he didn't leave right away? Guess I should keep on reading, huh? ;-)
A couple of corrections:
"'Stop shouting!' Draco counted, squeezing his eyes shut as. . . . " Think you meant "countered"?
"'You can share ours though until their done.' Weasley said, slapping Draco on the back like that made everything okay."
Should be "until they're done," with a comma after "done" instead of a period (or full stop, if you're British) since what follows after is a continuation of that sentence. It's the same as if you had written "Slapping him on the back, Weasley said, 'You can share ours though until they're done.'" Does my explanation make sense?
" . . . He held himself taunt, felt his body string tight as pleasure rippled through him. . . ." Taut, not taunt.
On to the next Ch!
schedule
May 3, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Ch. 4
"'You always say that.' Draco felt his blood simmering, the image of Potter standing in the middle of his bedroom doing funny things to him. It looked odd. Potter was much too...Potter to fit properly in his private room. He clashed terribly with the...decor, or something. And why in the world did he look so damn big next to his bed? Or better yet why did his stupid gaze even flicker between the two? 'And I'm not going anywhere.'"
This bit made me LOL. Literally! I loved the locked boxes, especially when they started refusing to stay locked. Great chapter!
"'You always say that.' Draco felt his blood simmering, the image of Potter standing in the middle of his bedroom doing funny things to him. It looked odd. Potter was much too...Potter to fit properly in his private room. He clashed terribly with the...decor, or something. And why in the world did he look so damn big next to his bed? Or better yet why did his stupid gaze even flicker between the two? 'And I'm not going anywhere.'"
This bit made me LOL. Literally! I loved the locked boxes, especially when they started refusing to stay locked. Great chapter!
schedule
May 3, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Ch. 5
Very interesting relationship these two have, where "interesting" means "kinda weird" *scratching head*. Can't wait to find out more of what's going on with Draco and those discs. This isn't going to be a crossover with "Torchwood", is it?
Very interesting relationship these two have, where "interesting" means "kinda weird" *scratching head*. Can't wait to find out more of what's going on with Draco and those discs. This isn't going to be a crossover with "Torchwood", is it?
schedule
April 28, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Severus1snape here.
Oh this is just brilliant!
I love pansy so much for the first time ever in any story.
ron is just funny.
It's fun that draco seems to be losing the boxes he put harry into slowly.
Oh this is just brilliant!
I love pansy so much for the first time ever in any story.
ron is just funny.
It's fun that draco seems to be losing the boxes he put harry into slowly.
schedule
April 23, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Severus1snape here my darling.
this was absolutely love. Them enjoying flying together. Oooh the boxes are finally mixing!!
So funny that harry close to dressed draco nut hell he sucked him so this is nothing really.
did they have sex too or just..?
this was absolutely love. Them enjoying flying together. Oooh the boxes are finally mixing!!
So funny that harry close to dressed draco nut hell he sucked him so this is nothing really.
did they have sex too or just..?
schedule
April 23, 2015 at 12:00 AM
I must say, I am rather enjoying Ron in this. He is... amusing. I like how Draco is trying to put everything into boxes and yet just a bit resigned to it not fitting, but he can believe it does. The disk thing is very interesting and I really want to know what is up with that. Also what exactly did that disk due to Draco for the office to be blown up? What on earth is it doing to everyone else? I know they die, but is it water, draining of their life force or well what? So confused. However, I love the story and while I am procrastinating on writing mine, I get to read such wonderful chapters. I hope you update soon. :)
schedule
April 22, 2015 at 12:00 AM
I think I only check 7 or 8 times today for an update! Checked one last time before bed and there it was!!! Needless to say I'm getting to bed late tonight but completely worth it. I'll fall asleep with visions of Harry and Draco dancing in my head! Loved it!
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April 20, 2015 at 12:00 AM
You were the one to make me fall in love with Harry and Draco. I have read all of your stories and was so excited that you had a new one out. Though this one will be the hardest for me as I've only read your work after it was complete. I absolutely love Ron in this. I can't wait for your update. I hope you are serious about this being long. It gives me something incredible to look forward to!
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April 19, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Bloody hell this is still brilliant!
"If you don't stop moving I will sit on you, you're injured you idiot."
This was the first time I lughed so hard I cried and had to stop reading!
"No you prat I want to hit you." Draco grumbled. "Just move this way an inch or so."
This line nearly made me piss myself laughing so hard! :D
Pansy pursed her lips, staring him down with an intensity that made him want to shift uncomfortably in his seat. "Oh? And so the man that comes in here looking exactly like him is just his twin then? His poor muggle doppelganger. Some sad sod named Barry Lotter perchance?"
I never knew Pansy was so funny! Ha ha ha.
"Barry's cute isn't he?" She said cheekily.
"Perhaps you should go ask him for a dance then." He bit back, annoyed when the glass he pressed to his lips only let out a small dribble of gin over his tongue. "Bugger." He grumbled, setting it a bit too harshly back down.
OMG this is sooooo funny, really, this is really so diff from your other work, but still as awsome, I think you should move in with me and write for me hihi...
OMG - this is just.... omg omg omg, get the fuck on with your lives and admit to loving each others damn it !!!
"If you don't stop moving I will sit on you, you're injured you idiot."
This was the first time I lughed so hard I cried and had to stop reading!
"No you prat I want to hit you." Draco grumbled. "Just move this way an inch or so."
This line nearly made me piss myself laughing so hard! :D
Pansy pursed her lips, staring him down with an intensity that made him want to shift uncomfortably in his seat. "Oh? And so the man that comes in here looking exactly like him is just his twin then? His poor muggle doppelganger. Some sad sod named Barry Lotter perchance?"
I never knew Pansy was so funny! Ha ha ha.
"Barry's cute isn't he?" She said cheekily.
"Perhaps you should go ask him for a dance then." He bit back, annoyed when the glass he pressed to his lips only let out a small dribble of gin over his tongue. "Bugger." He grumbled, setting it a bit too harshly back down.
OMG this is sooooo funny, really, this is really so diff from your other work, but still as awsome, I think you should move in with me and write for me hihi...
OMG - this is just.... omg omg omg, get the fuck on with your lives and admit to loving each others damn it !!!
schedule
April 19, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Whoo hoo! Very sexy together and I so did not see that coming. Do the friends know or do they just see the resulting sexual tension between the two?