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January 4, 2020 at 12:00 AM
Maybe not another Chapter, but a Sequel could be nice. One with more Plot intended, and Relationship development
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July 16, 2014 at 12:00 AM
update soon!
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April 26, 2014 at 12:00 AM
loved it! I like to see the good guys get "it" sometimes. hehehe
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March 30, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Very nice story! But it does sort of demand at least an epilogue.
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March 4, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Update soon!
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February 25, 2014 at 12:00 AM
I loved all three chapters of this and will definitely check out your other work. I do think an epilogue is in order though. The entire time I read, I wondered if it was real, or if it was a fabrication of the Room. I hope it is real, and would love to read of the morning after where Harry discovers the truth one way or the other.
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November 5, 2013 at 12:00 AM
A competently-written story, firmly within the conventions of the mass market vanilla-straight-male-fantasy porn genre. Does what it says on the tin: a reader of that genre who wants "Room of Requirement foursome" will find exactly what he expects, and be satisfied. Just as many tourists are satisfied when they can confidently expect McDonald's food to be exactly the same, anywhere in the world: when the aim is to stick to a formula, delivering the standard elements and being predictable counts as success.
A cut above average for AFF fics, simply because the spelling and grammar are good. This writer could easily get freelance work in some erotica categories, if he can churn out this kind of material reliably; there certainly is demand for it.
- Canon inconsistency: list of Harry's sleeping roommates in Gryffindor leaves out Neville Longbottom.
- Typos:
"Ginny noticed Harry drawn's gaze"
"hair and body shaking appealing as she approached"
- Consider naming the girls in the summary, HP/GW/HG/LL, to make ships perfectly clear for potential readers. Adding the word "harem" could bring in readers searching on that term.
The story's narrated in third-person omniscient by a voice that clearly isn't Harry's; it's older, more formal. (If I had to match it to any HP character... probably Percy Weasley.) Once the sex gets going, the language sprouts additional adjectives and the standard porn-assortment of nouns for genitalia, becoming more descriptive without sliding into purple prose - except for one line, more likely to inspire hilarity than arousal: "His manhood was a fine specimen, a teenage rod of maleness..." [reviewer pauses to ROTFLMAO]
Noting the writer's ability to make the story flow smoothly through a formulaic sequence: blonde/brunette/redhead cliche, check; detailed comparison of breasts/nipples/pubes, check; F/F oral with explicit statement that it's all for the man's benefit, check; exaggerated semen-output, check; explicit and hyperbolic semen-appreciation, check; etc. All rolls along with no awkward transitions, to a definite conclusion with an option to continue.
Overall rating: Exceeds Expectations. Readers who are seeking this type of porn should be very happy with this story, especially if further chapters are similar.
A cut above average for AFF fics, simply because the spelling and grammar are good. This writer could easily get freelance work in some erotica categories, if he can churn out this kind of material reliably; there certainly is demand for it.
- Canon inconsistency: list of Harry's sleeping roommates in Gryffindor leaves out Neville Longbottom.
- Typos:
"Ginny noticed Harry drawn's gaze"
"hair and body shaking appealing as she approached"
- Consider naming the girls in the summary, HP/GW/HG/LL, to make ships perfectly clear for potential readers. Adding the word "harem" could bring in readers searching on that term.
The story's narrated in third-person omniscient by a voice that clearly isn't Harry's; it's older, more formal. (If I had to match it to any HP character... probably Percy Weasley.) Once the sex gets going, the language sprouts additional adjectives and the standard porn-assortment of nouns for genitalia, becoming more descriptive without sliding into purple prose - except for one line, more likely to inspire hilarity than arousal: "His manhood was a fine specimen, a teenage rod of maleness..." [reviewer pauses to ROTFLMAO]
Noting the writer's ability to make the story flow smoothly through a formulaic sequence: blonde/brunette/redhead cliche, check; detailed comparison of breasts/nipples/pubes, check; F/F oral with explicit statement that it's all for the man's benefit, check; exaggerated semen-output, check; explicit and hyperbolic semen-appreciation, check; etc. All rolls along with no awkward transitions, to a definite conclusion with an option to continue.
Overall rating: Exceeds Expectations. Readers who are seeking this type of porn should be very happy with this story, especially if further chapters are similar.
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November 3, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Love your description of the characters and each of their different physical characteristics. Are you planning to expand it because I hoping for some actual action :)
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November 3, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Hi!!!
I just came across your story!!! I really love the story of Harry with Hermione,Ginny and Lunna!!!
I hope you continue this story so that we can see the four of them pleasuring each other.
Again, thank you for this amazing story and I hope to see you in next chapter!!
I just came across your story!!! I really love the story of Harry with Hermione,Ginny and Lunna!!!
I hope you continue this story so that we can see the four of them pleasuring each other.
Again, thank you for this amazing story and I hope to see you in next chapter!!