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August 20, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Absolutely love this story and would love to see more of it when you get the chance! Thank you for creating an amazing awesome story!!!
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June 23, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Where's Nev and Seamus?
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March 13, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Mmmm...liking it so far. Everyone, including me, seems ok with all the pairings at least the ones they know about and Blaise and Pansy are about to go public also.
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March 10, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Aw, they are so awkwardly, but lovely together ^_^ please update chapter 8 soon.
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March 9, 2014 at 12:00 AM
I don't mean this to be a flame, but more constructive criticism in the hope of helping someone who has the potential to become a good writer actually become one. (some of the most important lessons I have learned as a writer have come from critical reviews, and though I know they hurt at the time, they are the ones that help most in the long run)
I really am all for a nice simple, fluffy Drarry story but this feels rushed and a little forced. I suggest that you try to develop things a little slower and more carefully; this story would benefit from some more scene setting and description of what they are doing, and from not spelling out, quite so blatantly, what they are thinking. I like some indication of characters thought processes, because that is important for character development, but I think you have taken it a bit far and now your characters lack much of a sense of realism (I know it is fantasy writing, but we still want to be connecting to the characters)
Also, you seem to have completely over looked the fact that legilimency requires eye contact.
Overall I was rather disappointed with what you have so far, but I hope you will take this advice on board and learn from it.
I really am all for a nice simple, fluffy Drarry story but this feels rushed and a little forced. I suggest that you try to develop things a little slower and more carefully; this story would benefit from some more scene setting and description of what they are doing, and from not spelling out, quite so blatantly, what they are thinking. I like some indication of characters thought processes, because that is important for character development, but I think you have taken it a bit far and now your characters lack much of a sense of realism (I know it is fantasy writing, but we still want to be connecting to the characters)
Also, you seem to have completely over looked the fact that legilimency requires eye contact.
Overall I was rather disappointed with what you have so far, but I hope you will take this advice on board and learn from it.
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February 9, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Update soon!
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February 8, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Ch. 3
Um, really hot scene but doesn't Legilimency needs eye contact to work?
Um, really hot scene but doesn't Legilimency needs eye contact to work?
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February 6, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Update soon!
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February 5, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Chpt 1-3: Looks like fun. I'm sure going along for the ride.
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November 4, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Ch. 1
Apparently you fixed whatever the problem was, 'cause there is no repetition now, just a good start to what seems to be an interesting story.
Apparently you fixed whatever the problem was, 'cause there is no repetition now, just a good start to what seems to be an interesting story.