rate_review Reviews

This is a really good story. I liked the way you had Harry treat each girl differently. I also liked how you brought that dark doesn't mean evil and light doesn't mean good.

Good story keep it up I am enjoying it

@27

Loving this story. Update soon

DB

Beautiful! You are an excellent writer, and I like the way your mind works. It's very rare when pervy material makes you think as well as yank.

So many things come up for me as I read this - from the psychological to the political, but this particular forum isn't very conducive to discussion. Suffice it to say that I think you are exploring the power of the Dom/Sub dialectic as a form of social and psycho-analysis very well. I don't know how often you hear people tell you that in a fanfic forum... but you are hearing it today. Usually I blast right by most Harry/Harem sex-slave stories - maybe read a chapter for a wank, then move on to something better with a plot.

One of the things I really like about your work, is the distinction being drawn between the way Harry and McClaggen treated Hermione. It illustrates the critical difference between a loving relationship and an abusive one - regardless of the B&D context.

I know some people might moan because they thought Harry was manipulating Hermione and being "evil" too, but let's look at the difference. Harry used a little magic to make Hermione feel a little extra happy when he praised her, and to be truthful to him and herself, so that she would give herself to him willingly. McClaggen tried to use magic to take away any true feelings of happiness so that she might become a real slave - in every sense of the word.

As I see it, the magical manipulations are a literary device to literalise what we really try to do to each other in relationships. As humans, we try to be honest to ourselves and each other and make happy those who we love, and we make miserable and deny the truth of those who we merely wish to possess and control.

As an occasional writer of Potter-romance myself, it's also interesting to compare how the Magical Dom/Sub dialectic resolves some of the same personality/character interaction issues and goals which I explore with other magical literary devices and psychoanalytic models.

Finally, in regards to my views re: Ron's persona, my views have hardened a lot since I first read Deathly Hallows 7 years ago. I gave him the benefit of the doubt, even though I knew that the conclusion of the Potter series was "incorrect" (though it is probably my all-time favourite book series next to Narnia and Middle-Earth). When Rowling finally admitted that she blundered, I was able to admit myself all of the terrible problems which I saw with the pairing from a psychological and a literary perspective.

However, please take note, what I'm actually telling you is that I LIKE your version of Ron much better than Rowling's. Plus, you solved a hurdle for me by not pairing Hermione with Ron and forcing her to put up with his abuse. You killed two birds with one stone by "giving" Luna to Ron. He's not an asshole to Hermione in your fic, and Hermione is Harry's - the way it was supposed to be.

This. This made me so happy <3

Your anonymous reviewer reads again! Now I'm glad that she broke through though I'm not sure how she did so. I think Snape made a massive mistake in not informing Harry of the details. Primarily because the necklace overrode everything and was pulling Hermione to follow Cormac. By all intents and purposes, she shouldn't have been able to break free. Even with Harry's help, she had to summon the will to give herself to him (which wouldn't have pleased Cormac). For the scenario, I'd have expected something a fair bit more violent (forcing Cormac to free her immediately) or even predatory (Harry taking Hermione with her barest consent). In lieu of either, I'd guess the next step would be a bit of smut. Not all is perfect in the world, but Hermione again serves by her own will. A bit of vanilla sex would probably be appropriate right about now.

After nearly a year, you leave us with an excellent cliffhanger...

But in all honesty (and this is coming from the heart with no bs or joking around) you have done something that you as a writer, but more importantly as a person, you should be very proud of yourself. For you to stick with a book and writing it to the point is at, take a very special team. It shows that both of you have dedicated nearly a year of your own, blood, sweat, tears, time and every other emotion you can think of.

If you wish to, your more then welcome to send me an email, at mtt_osullivan@hotmail.com

It will be stupid question, but when you said 'the end', did you mean THE END? Like the end of story? Becous really - you can't do this to me, please (yes, I'm begging!)! I love this story, I need to know what will happen next.
Please, please, please! Don't stop writing this story!

I'm not normally into s/m per se, yet your story is not only well written but moves at an amazing pace. The smut scenes go well with the plot and even though its light it is still done well. i think the battle between harry and hermione is my favorite part, the way she fights her desires and the build up for that. So thank you and can't i wait for the next update.


Craven

Aaaaaaaaaarrrrggghhh!!! NEED MORE STORY NOW!

I LOVE this story. I see what you're doing with this story. But I hope Harry gets Hermione back and McClaggen dies a horrible drawn out torturous death.

I don't think your barely darkish Harry is evil at all, contrary to the apparent opinion of others. Yes, It is true that Harry used hypnosis to learn abut Hermione's true nature, and that he gives her a tingle of pleasure when he says "good girl" in the beginning. But he seems to have thought better of it, and through making Hermione his Treasure, Harry has also made himself Hermione's Treasure whether he realises it or not. If that isn't True Love, after a fashion, I don't know what is.

And Hermione deserves Harry because she gave him the sheath for his birthday.

Please kill McClaggen.

Your Harry is very protective of "his" girls, he's straightforward, he doesn't do more than they want or force them to do more than they want, he doesn't abide outright abuse of submissives. I think your Harry is a pretty good guy overall actually.

I do have one gripe, but it is entirely subjective... and this is your story. Personally, in my opinion, I think Ron is too jealous, unreliable, and unstable, to be quite so cool as your Ron Weasley (I think Ron's canon version could potentially end up more like your version of... damn it... too much pipeweed... I think it was your version of Nott... or worse).

But what the hell! Like I said... It's your story, and this minor gripe is actually nullified by your excellent portrayal of a Ron Weasley free of his character defects. :D

Hahahaha! You actually won me over to Ron, at least in the context of your really awesome story. I love your very good, only slightly AU, characterisations for all the rest of the characters. Definitely credible as canon characters reacting to an AU with a completely different set of social rules caused by a single event (the birthday gift) which ripples through the timeline. Brilliant.

I also really liked your lemons, and that you strove to avoid resorting to either crudeness or hackneyed euphemistic cliches. It worked for me. It's a nice change from too sedate, or too hardcore. The sex scenes, and submission/humiliation scenes are fucking hot.

Please kill McClaggen...

Sorry... Can't stop myself!