schedule
October 23, 2013 at 12:00 AM
You need to atleast write what happens to Ginny in offshot chapters for this when Harry's Whore are being used when He not around.A Side-story of them.
schedule
October 23, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Youwot? You've been leading up to the Ginny/x scene for several chapters now and you don't even go into it? What's the point of a smut story that passes over the smut? Just because Harry's not involved doesn't make it any less interesting...
schedule
October 23, 2013 at 12:00 AM
I feel cheated. There was a Draco/Ginny/Blaise sandwich and I didn't get to see how the night went!! I'm beside myself. I can't...
Oooooh? What's this here? Snape has been forgiven and doesn't want to talk about it? Why do I feel that dumbeldore is a part of why he doesn't want to talk right now?
Oooooh? What's this here? Snape has been forgiven and doesn't want to talk about it? Why do I feel that dumbeldore is a part of why he doesn't want to talk right now?
schedule
October 23, 2013 at 12:00 AM
It's nice to see some updates. Chapter was great, Harry really is in command. I hope we see more of him and his girls in the next chapter.
schedule
October 16, 2013 at 12:00 AM
The meeting of the whores!!
Lovely, they are all getting so well. I hope they will be able to come to terms with their master's demands. Some of them seem to still be on the fence. I'm worried that cho might betray them, she seems the least into things. Maybe cause she is the newest. Lol, love the pet pose, pretty sure I would end up twerking but I doubt master would dislike that.
Hermione still having to be hypnotized? I wonder how Harry feels about these feelings not being her own. Yeah, she has a desire to serve but I doubt the things he is introducing to her are her natural tendencies. She is gonna be pissed when she finds out all he has done. I could see that taking a special turn.
Lovely, they are all getting so well. I hope they will be able to come to terms with their master's demands. Some of them seem to still be on the fence. I'm worried that cho might betray them, she seems the least into things. Maybe cause she is the newest. Lol, love the pet pose, pretty sure I would end up twerking but I doubt master would dislike that.
Hermione still having to be hypnotized? I wonder how Harry feels about these feelings not being her own. Yeah, she has a desire to serve but I doubt the things he is introducing to her are her natural tendencies. She is gonna be pissed when she finds out all he has done. I could see that taking a special turn.
schedule
October 16, 2013 at 12:00 AM
This story is taking a turn that I'm not sure I like or am comfortable with...
First, Harry openly admitted he will be doing things the girls won't like with them. The whole point of them being subs is that they want to be subs, not that they're forced. If they don't like what he's doing, he's essentially forcing himself on them.
Then we have Hermione, whom he's mind raping. Mind-control is essentially rape. The biggest hook of this story was Hermione realizing, on her own, that she's a sub and wants to be dominated. If she's mind-controlled / hypnotized into thinking this way then that completely defeats the purpose. It shows Harry is inept at wooing the girl he likes the way he wants to, and it shows him as a rapist - and it IS rape.
So, to recap, Harry is collecting 'slaves' like they're Pokemon and has admitted he'll be doing things to them they won't like. He is also mind-fucking Hermione to make her more pliable to his 'advances'... yeah, not cool.
First, Harry openly admitted he will be doing things the girls won't like with them. The whole point of them being subs is that they want to be subs, not that they're forced. If they don't like what he's doing, he's essentially forcing himself on them.
Then we have Hermione, whom he's mind raping. Mind-control is essentially rape. The biggest hook of this story was Hermione realizing, on her own, that she's a sub and wants to be dominated. If she's mind-controlled / hypnotized into thinking this way then that completely defeats the purpose. It shows Harry is inept at wooing the girl he likes the way he wants to, and it shows him as a rapist - and it IS rape.
So, to recap, Harry is collecting 'slaves' like they're Pokemon and has admitted he'll be doing things to them they won't like. He is also mind-fucking Hermione to make her more pliable to his 'advances'... yeah, not cool.
schedule
October 16, 2013 at 12:00 AM
This story makes me feel all tingly!
schedule
October 16, 2013 at 12:00 AM
The one part I dislike about this story is Harry's manipulation of Hermione. I know that you're trying to paint the meditation as therapeutic; nevertheless, I find it a betrayal of not only their friendship, but of their master slave relationship. Hermione trusts Harry to watch her while she meditates, not find out her deepest secrets and exploit them. I know that Harry wants her to discover her inner beauty and desires, but Hermione has to discover these on her own. I like that Harry is trying to take things slow with Hermione, but I don't feel as if he's going about it the way experienced Dom would. The beautiful thing about a good M/s relationship is that both people go into willingly. No ones manipulated into a specific role. I think that Hermione is a natural submissive, but I think that a more experienced Dom would have brought out that side of her without breaking her trust.
The characters are OOC, which is understandable because of the plot, but Harry is to far OOC. I get that the sheath made him feel more dominant, but I wish it had been taken slower. Harry just wouldn't go from the 'boy next door' to calling girls sluts and whores as if it was nothing. There should have been some confusion for him. He should have had to struggle with this as much as Hermione.
This story feels to rushed. It could actually be really good story if it were more character driven and less plot driven, although there doesn't seem to be much of a plot, other than Harry collecting girls. I thought the scenes with him and Draco and Severus showed more character growth.
The characters are OOC, which is understandable because of the plot, but Harry is to far OOC. I get that the sheath made him feel more dominant, but I wish it had been taken slower. Harry just wouldn't go from the 'boy next door' to calling girls sluts and whores as if it was nothing. There should have been some confusion for him. He should have had to struggle with this as much as Hermione.
This story feels to rushed. It could actually be really good story if it were more character driven and less plot driven, although there doesn't seem to be much of a plot, other than Harry collecting girls. I thought the scenes with him and Draco and Severus showed more character growth.
schedule
October 16, 2013 at 12:00 AM
I DO like the revised chapter. I even like Ginny's revised name. I also enjoyed the fact that now Hermione has to 'think' about her feelings and analyze whether they are her own or social pressure. BTW, (ROFL) about the three hours NOT spent on a spreadsheet of Doms and Subs!?!?!?!?! My master would tell me that sounds like something I would do *hang head*! I am also thrilled with your Blog. As always...More, Please!!!!!!!!!!
schedule
October 15, 2013 at 12:00 AM
The names are kinda awkward. As a Dom, Harry should also be teaching himself; learning to control vocal responses when he is being pleasured by one of his (or someone else's) girl(s) in front of others. It's a sign of weakness (mild or not) to stutter or have to pause while speaking; especially when giving out orders/rules/etc.
After a while, though he could technically start right now for pretty much all of his girls, he would need to start punishing (and not in the perverted/kind/whatever way)them.
Now, for the most important part of my review; technically this is more of a request, nay! This is my plea!
Please! Write more of this fic! [Clarification]: Update this fic more than your Draco-centric fics. Now, hear me out before you judge.
It may have caught your (and any readers who look through reviews) that AFF is WAY skewed towards yaoi/slash and the like. Another big theme is that the main characters of whichever series is being written about is usually left in the cold (if not simply straight destroyed as a character)
Examples, The many fics in which Harry is married to Ginny and she is cheating on him with whoever. The many fics in which, randomly and for no logical reason, a full fic is written where Ginny/Hermione/insert-name is inexplicably secretly dating one of Harry's many enemies (Draco, Snape, Lucius, Voldemort). Then there are the crap-ton of one-shots which are simply Draco, Snape, Voldemort, or Blaise-centric as far as the guy who is getting it on with Hermione, Ginny, or Luna (the regulars) if not whichever other female from the show.
Now, there is nothing wrong with people writing about their favorite ships and putting them up for all to see...it's just that...c'mon! Can I get some Harry-centric fics as well?
Not to mention it always incites me to palpable anger to see a fic that has Snape paired with ANY female (post Potter-deaths/Voldemort's final fall/random time during Hogwarts) Snape is the guy who is the reason Harry is an orphan, that he had to live with the Dursleys and then had to show up at Hogwarts and be instantly the target of a grown man's rage for something Harry's father (whom Harry never met "thanks Snape") did decades ago.
Don't even get me started on Snape/Lily fics post-Voldemort-attack, that's just fucking ridiculous. Pardon my language.
(sorry for this rant, I can't stop)
It really sucks to know that some of the best fic-ideas, best writing, the fics with the most chapters (not to mention good grammar) are not Harry-centric.
The majority of Harry-centric fics on this site are 1)unfinished (long since dead) 2)PAINFULLY horribly written 3)slash 4)Harry-centric but he's an emo bitch.
(same goes for Naruto fics btw)
...I'm done now. Keep up the good work! ^_^
After a while, though he could technically start right now for pretty much all of his girls, he would need to start punishing (and not in the perverted/kind/whatever way)them.
Now, for the most important part of my review; technically this is more of a request, nay! This is my plea!
Please! Write more of this fic! [Clarification]: Update this fic more than your Draco-centric fics. Now, hear me out before you judge.
It may have caught your (and any readers who look through reviews) that AFF is WAY skewed towards yaoi/slash and the like. Another big theme is that the main characters of whichever series is being written about is usually left in the cold (if not simply straight destroyed as a character)
Examples, The many fics in which Harry is married to Ginny and she is cheating on him with whoever. The many fics in which, randomly and for no logical reason, a full fic is written where Ginny/Hermione/insert-name is inexplicably secretly dating one of Harry's many enemies (Draco, Snape, Lucius, Voldemort). Then there are the crap-ton of one-shots which are simply Draco, Snape, Voldemort, or Blaise-centric as far as the guy who is getting it on with Hermione, Ginny, or Luna (the regulars) if not whichever other female from the show.
Now, there is nothing wrong with people writing about their favorite ships and putting them up for all to see...it's just that...c'mon! Can I get some Harry-centric fics as well?
Not to mention it always incites me to palpable anger to see a fic that has Snape paired with ANY female (post Potter-deaths/Voldemort's final fall/random time during Hogwarts) Snape is the guy who is the reason Harry is an orphan, that he had to live with the Dursleys and then had to show up at Hogwarts and be instantly the target of a grown man's rage for something Harry's father (whom Harry never met "thanks Snape") did decades ago.
Don't even get me started on Snape/Lily fics post-Voldemort-attack, that's just fucking ridiculous. Pardon my language.
(sorry for this rant, I can't stop)
It really sucks to know that some of the best fic-ideas, best writing, the fics with the most chapters (not to mention good grammar) are not Harry-centric.
The majority of Harry-centric fics on this site are 1)unfinished (long since dead) 2)PAINFULLY horribly written 3)slash 4)Harry-centric but he's an emo bitch.
(same goes for Naruto fics btw)
...I'm done now. Keep up the good work! ^_^