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September 11, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Damn good story idea. Can't wait for chapter two. Keep up the good work
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September 11, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Very nice start. I would look over it again and correct some small mistakes such as not capitalizing "Harry" very often. I'd like to read more. Obviously add some Ginny and maybe some Susan Bones. Whoever you add is all good.
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September 10, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Decent concept but you need to check for grammar and work a little on transitions with additional details or buildup being something that could improve your story.
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September 9, 2013 at 12:00 AM
I think your story has potential. If you take more time reviewing it, you would most likely catch some of the rushed sections and errors, but overall rather good. I look forward to more. I hope you take great care crafting the sexual encounters.
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September 8, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Love this idea! I'm really looking forward to more chapters, and definitely add some Luna to the mix!
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September 8, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Well, you caught my attention :)
I don't really care for Luna, though. She usually only ever shows up as complete fanwank where she can do anything (but somehow never does...)
I don't really care for Luna, though. She usually only ever shows up as complete fanwank where she can do anything (but somehow never does...)
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September 6, 2013 at 12:00 AM
A very nice start, an actual reason besides being teenagers to have sex! Of course, there is sex involved, it's teenagers at a boarding school, that's what they do! Keep up the great work!