schedule
July 9, 2014 at 12:00 AM
I love your Snape! Thank you for a great story! Are there more "on the burner"?
schedule
March 25, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Another good Snarry story! Poor Dracodoesn't come off to well in this one either (I just finished "To Protect").
schedule
September 12, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Excellent fic! Just love the ending :) everyone is so happy! i can't wait to read more of your work! keep it up! :D
schedule
September 3, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Hard & fast. Fast & hard. Love it!
schedule
August 31, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Ch. 1
First let me say that I am enjoying your portrayal of the characters, though I hope Harry develops some self-confidence when he's around Snape. I've only read this chapter, so maybe that happens later on. I also like the premise of Harry teaching and Snape being alive and a colleague.
You mentioned you were looking for a beta. I can't do that but may I offer a couple of corrections?
"It was shortly following the war in which Harry Potter first returned to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Harry took in the crisp smell of parchment, the cool and expansive breeze in which blew from high to the ceiling mosaic glass windows, and the stone in which scrapped familiarly beneath his well-polished, black loafers."
The word should be scraped, not scrapped, but the main error here is the phrase "in which," which you have used three times in two sentences. The first sentence would better read as "It was shortly following the war WHEN Harry Potter first returned to Hogwarts...." "In which" really doesn't fit in there at all.
In the second sentence, take out the "in" from the phrase in both usages. "Harry took in the crisp smell of parchment, the cool and expansive breeze WHICH blew from high to the ceiling mosaic glass windows, and the stone WHICH scraped familiarly beneath his well-polished, black loafers."
There there are, of course, instances in which it is correct to use "in which," but none of the many times you used it in this chapter applies to that. You are certainly not the only writer who misuses this phrase - I've seen it a lot recently on this and other fanfic sites.
Anyway, this bothered me a lot and I hope I didn't offend you by bringing it up. I'm new to AFF membership, though I've been reading on it for years, and it isn't obvious to me that there is a way to contact an author privately, which would have been my preference.
First let me say that I am enjoying your portrayal of the characters, though I hope Harry develops some self-confidence when he's around Snape. I've only read this chapter, so maybe that happens later on. I also like the premise of Harry teaching and Snape being alive and a colleague.
You mentioned you were looking for a beta. I can't do that but may I offer a couple of corrections?
"It was shortly following the war in which Harry Potter first returned to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Harry took in the crisp smell of parchment, the cool and expansive breeze in which blew from high to the ceiling mosaic glass windows, and the stone in which scrapped familiarly beneath his well-polished, black loafers."
The word should be scraped, not scrapped, but the main error here is the phrase "in which," which you have used three times in two sentences. The first sentence would better read as "It was shortly following the war WHEN Harry Potter first returned to Hogwarts...." "In which" really doesn't fit in there at all.
In the second sentence, take out the "in" from the phrase in both usages. "Harry took in the crisp smell of parchment, the cool and expansive breeze WHICH blew from high to the ceiling mosaic glass windows, and the stone WHICH scraped familiarly beneath his well-polished, black loafers."
There there are, of course, instances in which it is correct to use "in which," but none of the many times you used it in this chapter applies to that. You are certainly not the only writer who misuses this phrase - I've seen it a lot recently on this and other fanfic sites.
Anyway, this bothered me a lot and I hope I didn't offend you by bringing it up. I'm new to AFF membership, though I've been reading on it for years, and it isn't obvious to me that there is a way to contact an author privately, which would have been my preference.
schedule
August 31, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Ch. 2
Uh yeah, what's up with Snape? Poor Harry, no wonder he's confused.
Uh yeah, what's up with Snape? Poor Harry, no wonder he's confused.
schedule
August 31, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Ch. 8
So . . . this is the end? Glad as I am that you didn't introduce more angst into the story, the ending does seem a tad abrupt. Oh well, at least it was a happy one. Thanks for sharing it with us.
So . . . this is the end? Glad as I am that you didn't introduce more angst into the story, the ending does seem a tad abrupt. Oh well, at least it was a happy one. Thanks for sharing it with us.
schedule
August 28, 2013 at 12:00 AM
So much potential... and such a disappointing ending. It's probably just me but the jump from betrayal and very nearly forced bonding to sickeningly sweet romance is just... lame.
schedule
August 26, 2013 at 12:00 AM
So good...What kind of "estate" will the two agree on? An angry Malfoy can be very sneaky. But somehow I feel sad and bad for him...maybe it is my own mood but he seems kind of lonely and younger than he is really.
schedule
August 21, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Woo Hoo...excellent smexy chapter. Looking for another one while they figure out how they will manage to live their lives together...trust each other...work together and build a life.