schedule
August 13, 2013 at 12:00 AM
I love it, quick and a fantastic plot twist. 5 stars.
schedule
August 4, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Since HBP, I've love this version of Severus - terribly intelligent, self-serving, and always with his own agenda. Considering the watered-down version of book-Snape that seems to be most popular in this part of fandom a.d. 2013, I'm all the more happy that you have written this story. Awesome work!
schedule
August 3, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Since you labored on so much about how you love reviews...
This generally would have slipped beneath my notice, but I must hand it to you for your first attempt it wasn't half bad. The plot concept is actually a really brilliant one, at least more original that what I've read around here as of late. The notion of him hiding out, not only as a dead man but a dead man whose essence and soul has been transferred to that of a kissed man; that is an incredible notion. You've done your brilliant plot a complete disservice, however, by making it so clipped and not properly fleshing it out. I can understand your hesitancy to do so since this is your first real time out the gates with writing. Your characterizations could use some work as well as general grammar (but that's what betas are for.) It is really a refreshing idea, however.
What I am left wondering- given that you've given us more of a story-idea summary than a story- is how Severus is coping with Lucius's body. What's happened to Narcissa? Does his miss his old body; does he have any plans to attempt to restore his soul to his old body- or perhaps another non-Lucius body. So many questions and so many avenues down which this story could stroll.
Again, a definite nod in the positive toward the great idea.
~CC
This generally would have slipped beneath my notice, but I must hand it to you for your first attempt it wasn't half bad. The plot concept is actually a really brilliant one, at least more original that what I've read around here as of late. The notion of him hiding out, not only as a dead man but a dead man whose essence and soul has been transferred to that of a kissed man; that is an incredible notion. You've done your brilliant plot a complete disservice, however, by making it so clipped and not properly fleshing it out. I can understand your hesitancy to do so since this is your first real time out the gates with writing. Your characterizations could use some work as well as general grammar (but that's what betas are for.) It is really a refreshing idea, however.
What I am left wondering- given that you've given us more of a story-idea summary than a story- is how Severus is coping with Lucius's body. What's happened to Narcissa? Does his miss his old body; does he have any plans to attempt to restore his soul to his old body- or perhaps another non-Lucius body. So many questions and so many avenues down which this story could stroll.
Again, a definite nod in the positive toward the great idea.
~CC