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April 13, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Haydron,
Intense Chapter, Draco is indeed vile in this one, and cruelly wickedly dark, but I like that you kept him in character despite his more than vicious treatment of our amazing Hermione.
I hope you will let her have her moments of victory as well, small as they might be in her horrible circumstances, but she's resourceful, intelligent and knows how to pay him back.
Very well written chapter, the suspense for me is going crescendo, I am eager to read how it is going to peak between these two
Are you going to keep Draco as dark as he is now or are you slowly but steadily going to "rehabilitate" him ? hehe is he redeemable ? :)
You are doing a wonderful job with this storyline. Thank you :)
Intense Chapter, Draco is indeed vile in this one, and cruelly wickedly dark, but I like that you kept him in character despite his more than vicious treatment of our amazing Hermione.
I hope you will let her have her moments of victory as well, small as they might be in her horrible circumstances, but she's resourceful, intelligent and knows how to pay him back.
Very well written chapter, the suspense for me is going crescendo, I am eager to read how it is going to peak between these two
Are you going to keep Draco as dark as he is now or are you slowly but steadily going to "rehabilitate" him ? hehe is he redeemable ? :)
You are doing a wonderful job with this storyline. Thank you :)
schedule
April 13, 2013 at 12:00 AM
I really like this story so far! Thanks for the little bit about Harry and Ron...it gave done added context for me as to when this is taking place. I loved the interactions at the dinner table. What was Narcissa's motivation for trying to subdue Bellatrix? Pity for Hermione? Sympathy for Draco? Not wanting to be disturbed during dinner? Just a general question. I do like that Hermione, although starving, humiliated and beaten, still retains some of her inate fire when dealing with Draco's commands. Please continue to update...quickly! I can't wait to see what happens next! xoxo SM
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April 12, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Yay! Honorable mention! I love it! This story could amount to a lot of happiness for me! I always love it when Draco is so incredibly evil in the beginning but the light seduces him. I can see that seduction happening already!
Can I offer unsolicited advice? I would love to see you work on your imagery and character analysis a bit. Sometimes it is unclear what the action is in each scene. For example, when Hermione begins crying, I was confused. So, in this scene she only uses her own voice to tell the reader what she is thinking, but it also might be helpful for her development as a character to have an interior monologue to justify her words.
Can I offer unsolicited advice? I would love to see you work on your imagery and character analysis a bit. Sometimes it is unclear what the action is in each scene. For example, when Hermione begins crying, I was confused. So, in this scene she only uses her own voice to tell the reader what she is thinking, but it also might be helpful for her development as a character to have an interior monologue to justify her words.
schedule
April 12, 2013 at 12:00 AM
I like your writing style. You are nailing the dark side of Draco , as well as the conflicting emotions he is letting through, that is if I understood the last part of this chapter.
Great job, I am anxious to read more. thank you for sharing.
Great job, I am anxious to read more. thank you for sharing.
schedule
April 10, 2013 at 12:00 AM
I like it. Seems short though, by two parter do you mean two chapters? That would be nowhere near enough to satisfy me!!