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November 9, 2014 at 12:00 AM
This story wrote a lot of checks it didn't cash.
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November 5, 2014 at 12:00 AM
persionaly I like your story and how its going. your spelling isn't to bad particulary when hagrid is speaking in this chapter, I kinda see him in that light anyway as he well was expelled. harry and hermionie in hufflepuff.... I hate you but it could work.... hermionines wit in this chapter is better suited for ravinclaw. "wit beyond measure is mans greatest treasure" loved it so fay and keep it up.
zach
zach
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November 3, 2014 at 12:00 AM
You need to make another paragraph when someone else starts talking. You instead just keep going and that's not correct. An example of what I mean:
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Harry stops his snicker but keeps his smile as he approaches the girl and takes a seat across her,
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Harry stops his snicker but keeps his smile as he approaches the girl and takes a seat across her,
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November 2, 2014 at 12:00 AM
I've always wondered about why Harry and Draco were in the forest, nearly alone, with so much danger about. I do hope you'll explore that plot-point, as well as Harry's & Hermione's reactions to that upskirt.
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November 1, 2014 at 12:00 AM
thank you, for continuing this story. I am enjoying reading it. I love the twist you have added the story. I hope to see more of the story in the near future.
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November 1, 2014 at 12:00 AM
good job carry on
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November 1, 2014 at 12:00 AM
yey, great story, can't wait to read more,
Continuuuuuuue,
Z.
Continuuuuuuue,
Z.
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October 24, 2014 at 12:00 AM
I have been reading your storie and I have come to like it and I actually majored in English would like to proof read your chapter and would be a good one for you andstorie would be really good after I was done with it I don't mind don't mind adult stories they just have a different dimension of detail your secilioy nicholas vanni
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October 20, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Please keep going. This is turning out to be a really good story
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October 5, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Very interesting take..im enjoying it though hope you finish it :)