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December 25, 2012 at 12:00 AM
I cannot remember my own email at the moment so I could not fill that in. The reason I have chosen to review this story is because you have a very interesting plot that I am really looking forward to reading more of. I also wanted to suggest that you consider asking someone to beta-read your work for grammer errors. This story does contain a lot of them, though most of them are adding 's to certain words. I really hope you have a Happy Holiday and that you're able to update this this very interesting story again soon
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December 24, 2012 at 12:00 AM
As I read this all I think you changed a few thing since I don't remember this happening in chapter 18 when I read it before. I might be wrong. Don't get me wrong I have no problem with it. I am just trying to figure it all out.
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December 24, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Well, I wasn't going to review until later after I got some sleep as I can barely see at the moment, but after seeing this story has only recieved 3 reviews, I just couldn't walk off and do it later.
First off, I like this story. I normally get bored with "all powerful harry haram-ish" stories but this has some nice twists. Such as Dumbles having a horcrux, something I have never seen before, the removal of limbs to get rid of the dark mark, something I have only seen Rowling do, and Minerva as a god mother as well as many other things.
Second, bravo on getting so many chapters. I hope there are many more to come and look forward to reading it. I do have one thing I would like to point out. The one mistake I see being made over and over in each chapter is the use of "as." A lot of the time, you use "as" instead of "has." I can see this being done to point out someone's accent, like the french school, but you do it even in normal explanation which causes confusion and disrupts the flow of the story because the sentence no longer makes sense. If this could be changed, it would be very much appreciated.
Looking forward to reading more, keep it up!
First off, I like this story. I normally get bored with "all powerful harry haram-ish" stories but this has some nice twists. Such as Dumbles having a horcrux, something I have never seen before, the removal of limbs to get rid of the dark mark, something I have only seen Rowling do, and Minerva as a god mother as well as many other things.
Second, bravo on getting so many chapters. I hope there are many more to come and look forward to reading it. I do have one thing I would like to point out. The one mistake I see being made over and over in each chapter is the use of "as." A lot of the time, you use "as" instead of "has." I can see this being done to point out someone's accent, like the french school, but you do it even in normal explanation which causes confusion and disrupts the flow of the story because the sentence no longer makes sense. If this could be changed, it would be very much appreciated.
Looking forward to reading more, keep it up!
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December 23, 2012 at 12:00 AM
hmm, very interesting start. I am quite interested in seeing where the plot goes and how this fresh pairing will work out.
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December 23, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Nice twist on an old theme. I look forward to seeing what you do with this. Good writing, it kept me interested and I wanted to read more. Thanks.