rate_review Reviews

Huh. First time I am going to comment on anothers review:
Luminari_lilium: i disagree, I totally get Draco's agrey explosion and to be honest I am surprised she has forgiven so easily. She lost her family, being kicked out. Then Sirius comes along and offers a home, hell before she became a Potter she was offerres to be a Black. Which I think very noteworthy.
She picked Orion's name to honor Sirius and then she is accused by the man she is still doesn,t really like of picking a bad name. Asking why she would do that to Sirius. Hell I am surprised she didn't hex him to bits.at this point Sirius is basically one of the most important people in her life after her Husband and Son, and he makes multiple bad comments about Siri like him being childish

This chapter was wonderful. Baby Orion is so cute. Draco and Harry's banter is amusing.

This was sweet, especially the gifts.

Great chapter! I loved the idea of the gifts. Honestly, Ginny needs a permanent attitude adjustment. Or just to be slapped.

The reunion/aniversary was well done. Although I feel like Pansy might have competition for most annoying female at school. I hope that Draco and Harry resolve the issue with Ginny and that doesn't spin too far out of control. I feel like something will go wrong if that is left on the backburner much longer. Especially since it probably been going on since they started dating.

I like how Draco and Harry being a couple is basically accelerating the relationship with Bill and Fleur. Since I think they got married so early in canon because of the war and this will make them catch up in a way. With how the Molly and Ginny interacted with Fleur up to the injury, having Fleur want to babysit might help her with Molly in this version. Fleur is screwed with Ginny, Ginny just wants to hate everyone right now.

Thanks for the fun read, looking forward to next weeks!

Wow, a year already o.o Great chapter. I am glad everyone is getting along!

Nice "catch up" chapter. I agree with one of the reviews, or was it your reply, that Remus is a more complicated character than people tend to think. Sort of a sad even tragic figure - smarter & more sophisticated than people realize because of his "furry problem" and he has always been so poor (in spite of his rich friends). But don't give him to Tonks PLEASE! I'm still under the influence of a very powerful story of trials of Severus/Remus where Tonks steals him or is trying to from Severus.

You saying that Tonks probably won't show makes me sad. :-(

Another solid chapter. I feel like Remus is playing with Fire. But we will see. Especially when it looks like he will be living there. Grr. When will we have news that Lucy is done for? On the Malfoy front, I am really curious about the Cissy's pregancy. Even if Wizard/Witches have kids young. Its not easy. Especially if she used potions that are less then legal to get pregnant. I am worried that will go wrong and not only will Narcissa be devistated, it will only make Lucy attack the Potters harder.

Thanks for the fun read! Looking forward to next week.

I'm glad Draco is warming to Remus a little. Excellent update!

Hiya!

I discovered this story the other day and have now read a couple of chapters (four or so). Because I know getting reviews (and as such getting a confirmation that people are actually reading your story) can be rather motivating, I just wanted to give you a quick review, despite not having read all that much (yet).

First of all, I really like your writing style. It's not unnecessarily complicated, yet shows some elegance with words, which makes your story easy to read. The chapters could be a tiny bit longer, but overall I like them not being incredibly long.

The whole story is a little bit too fast-paced for me, though. I quite like the fluff in between and while you're surely capable of writing it, you have thus far left out quite some time between the important parts, which really speeds up the storyline. It almost seems like Draco instantly transforms into Harry's loving girlfriend and, for example, Sirius immediately accepts Draco into his house without any real conversations first. Writing more conversations (essentially fluff) could give your story more body, which would it even more enjoyable to read, at least for me.

The lack of body to the story makes it feel like some characters are out of character. For Draco, our most important player here, it's understandable that she's changed: she's just had her whole life turned upside down. Because of the high pace I mentioned earlier, it seems like he changed the moment he was hit by the potions, rather than the smooth transition that I think you want to achieve (and that I'd prefer to read). Let's not forget: we're talking about the person that would have had Buckbeak executed only a year before these events take place. Draco undergoes some major character development in the HBP and DH and without this development, he pretty much goes from being this whiny cunt to being a great, likeable person in an instant. Other characters, like Sirius and Harry, don't really act out of character, but seem really impulsive, because we don't get to see much of their considerations; their actions are ultimately the same as I'd imagine them to be in this situation, but normally we'd get some more insight into why they make those decisions.

I hope I have provided somewhat useful feedback. I mostly tried to explain why I'd like a more elaborate rundown of the events, but despite going on and on about fluff (or a lack thereof), I am really enjoying the story so far. A somewhat smoother transition into the current situation (Harry dating a female Draco) would have been nice, but now that I'm a little bit more settled into the story, I'm really looking forward to reading the rest of it!

Cheers,
Rob