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May 19, 2013 at 12:00 AM
YAYA!!!!!! You updated!!! I've been waiting for you!!! GOOD chapters!!!! Thank you!!
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May 18, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Ooh, intriguing. So Harry's a Lestrange heir, which means with both his uncles and his godfather in prison, he could collect their families' vaults in addition to Potter and what else has been willed to him in the last ten years.
Evil Dumbles, huh? Wonder just who all else is in on it with him? Hopefully not Arthur. Always feel a bit sad when Arthur is written as a willing betrayer of Harry; don't know why.
Interesting combination--Charlie, Cedric, Draco, and Harry. I've avoided most Cedric-stories in the past, but then again, I've never read any with his entrance into the plot so early. First year? There will definitely be some major divergences from the original story line! Ha!
Questions about the characters' ages will crop up. For instance, Harry and Draco are still both 11, but are you writing Cedric as 13-soon-to-be-14 (fall birthday, if I recall from GoF), making him a third year like the twins, or is he 14-going-on-15, making him a 4th year already? Did Charlie just graduate (17/18) or is he two years out? Since we knew he was on the quidditch team, and apparently flew with Wood... but the twins and Johnson and Spinnet had seen him in action so either last year or the year previous when they were first years...
There's the sexual aspect of things. Many will say 11 is too young, and really, they're right. But you're throwing creature inheritances into the mix, and you're accelerating those inheritances up due to the eldest mate's maturity. How will that effect the younger ones, besides just bringing on their inheritances?
For the first few months, at least, I can see them all being happy in one big puppy pile...Maybe Charlie and Cedric might experiment privately, away from the younger two. But by Yule/New Years...? Can't see the younger two allowing the others to leave them out. Wonder if Harry might just feel more secure watching his mates "get along", even if he isn't ready to participate.
What about breeding cycles? Will we be dealing with mpreg or some other type of preg, because I can't see either the Diggorys or the Malfoys content to let their only sons, their heirs go off and live happily in a harem of men if they can't somehow provide for the family continuation. Leads to the thought, who could impregnate who? Is it all equal-opportunity, or is it genetically encoded? Even if one of the others allows Harry to "top" them, will Harry ever be able to impregnate them? or will he be the one continuously impregnated by them? What is the sexual cycle and reproduction cycle of Fae, Elves (high elves?), and Veela in your story. And is it even for certain that Cedric and Draco will inherit elfish and vela?
There's the socio-political fall out; the family feuds; the whining, witching, and complaining of tBWL being with a Maloy, being too young to bond, being in Slytherin, being not who or what "THEY" expect him to be. Dealing with the aftermath of the abuse and neglect... Will Snape pull something together to try and "regrow" Harry's vocal cords? Will Snape pay a special little visit to the Dursleys? Are elves vengeful?
So many delicious little bits to discover! Happy writings!
Evil Dumbles, huh? Wonder just who all else is in on it with him? Hopefully not Arthur. Always feel a bit sad when Arthur is written as a willing betrayer of Harry; don't know why.
Interesting combination--Charlie, Cedric, Draco, and Harry. I've avoided most Cedric-stories in the past, but then again, I've never read any with his entrance into the plot so early. First year? There will definitely be some major divergences from the original story line! Ha!
Questions about the characters' ages will crop up. For instance, Harry and Draco are still both 11, but are you writing Cedric as 13-soon-to-be-14 (fall birthday, if I recall from GoF), making him a third year like the twins, or is he 14-going-on-15, making him a 4th year already? Did Charlie just graduate (17/18) or is he two years out? Since we knew he was on the quidditch team, and apparently flew with Wood... but the twins and Johnson and Spinnet had seen him in action so either last year or the year previous when they were first years...
There's the sexual aspect of things. Many will say 11 is too young, and really, they're right. But you're throwing creature inheritances into the mix, and you're accelerating those inheritances up due to the eldest mate's maturity. How will that effect the younger ones, besides just bringing on their inheritances?
For the first few months, at least, I can see them all being happy in one big puppy pile...Maybe Charlie and Cedric might experiment privately, away from the younger two. But by Yule/New Years...? Can't see the younger two allowing the others to leave them out. Wonder if Harry might just feel more secure watching his mates "get along", even if he isn't ready to participate.
What about breeding cycles? Will we be dealing with mpreg or some other type of preg, because I can't see either the Diggorys or the Malfoys content to let their only sons, their heirs go off and live happily in a harem of men if they can't somehow provide for the family continuation. Leads to the thought, who could impregnate who? Is it all equal-opportunity, or is it genetically encoded? Even if one of the others allows Harry to "top" them, will Harry ever be able to impregnate them? or will he be the one continuously impregnated by them? What is the sexual cycle and reproduction cycle of Fae, Elves (high elves?), and Veela in your story. And is it even for certain that Cedric and Draco will inherit elfish and vela?
There's the socio-political fall out; the family feuds; the whining, witching, and complaining of tBWL being with a Maloy, being too young to bond, being in Slytherin, being not who or what "THEY" expect him to be. Dealing with the aftermath of the abuse and neglect... Will Snape pull something together to try and "regrow" Harry's vocal cords? Will Snape pay a special little visit to the Dursleys? Are elves vengeful?
So many delicious little bits to discover! Happy writings!
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May 17, 2013 at 12:00 AM
*squee* I'm so glad you made this. I've read hundreds of stories on here, but frankly this is the first one I've loved enough to review. I love fics that have Charlie in them! I hope you update soon. I can't wait to read more!!
Sincerely yours,
Kitty
Sincerely yours,
Kitty
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May 17, 2013 at 12:00 AM
more please I want to see where this goes if charlie will sid ewith dumbvles or harry
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May 17, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Really interesting first few chapters, you mentioned you were moving it to AO3; is this something you have already done, or is it something you are planning on doing in the near future, because I do actually have a preference for reading there but was unable to find your story there. I think having Harry unable to speak creates a very interesting dynamic and your selection of mates is an interesting mix. Looking forward to seeing some more. :)
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May 17, 2013 at 12:00 AM
OMG!!! This story is getting so good! I can't wait to read more of it.
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May 17, 2013 at 12:00 AM
You're back! I was wondering if the story was going to continue. Glad to see it is and I love the idea of Charlie being his final mate. I feel bad for Hermione though, it seems like she is being singled out by her own house, poor girl. Can't wait to read more. I hope now that Harry has mates, one of which is an adult, he won't have to go back to the Dursley's.
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May 17, 2013 at 12:00 AM
YES!!!! Way to go Charlie! I hope that you continue this great story.
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May 17, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Ooooh! Another update, yeah!
Enjoying this story very much. Interesting grouping that is for sure.
Enjoying this story very much. Interesting grouping that is for sure.
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May 17, 2013 at 12:00 AM
*blinks* Wings? Now that's an interesting twist. So is the one with Lily!