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July 15, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Oh. Dear. Lord.
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July 14, 2015 at 12:00 AM
OMG, thank you so much!!! It's a great chapter! Love the way you are developing their relationship. So slowly but at the same time with so much tension and fire. ))))
Can't wait to see how Snape and Hermione will act after that intercourse in bathroom. Will Snape pretend that nothing happened? Or he will accept that "something" between him and Hermione?
By the way, that was HOT!!! ;))
Can't wait to see how Snape and Hermione will act after that intercourse in bathroom. Will Snape pretend that nothing happened? Or he will accept that "something" between him and Hermione?
By the way, that was HOT!!! ;))
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July 13, 2015 at 12:00 AM
I was so excited to see an update! Another great chapter!
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July 13, 2015 at 12:00 AM
I've been coming to this site to read Hermione/Snape pairings for 10+ years now and I can count the number of times I've felt compelled to write a review on one hand. This story is amazing and I sincerely hope that you continue. I would so look forward to an update!
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July 12, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Thank you for the update! I thoroughly enjoyed this new chapter and the slight shift in the relationship between Hermione and Severus. These two characters are a pleasure to read.
I noticed some prose issues while reading and I just wanted to let you know for future reference.
I think you use a lot of semicolons - perhaps too many. Just CTRL+F to find them - there are a lot of them. The semicolon is usually used quite sparingly since it essentially doubles the size of the sentence. However, I think my issue with them is that I don't think they're being used properly. A semicolon is supposed to separate two complete clauses; these clauses share a common idea, but can function independently. An easy way to check for this is to see whether you can replace a semicolon with a period. If you can, then you're using it right.
Eg. "His palm landed against her again; firm and unyielding." That semicolon should be a comma, since firm and unyielding is not a separate clause (no noun or verb).
Eg. "It was joined by his other hand; both arms around her back now, circling her into a loose embrace." The first clause is fine because it's complete. The second clause ("both arms around her back now, circling her into a loose embrace") is not. It doesn't read quite right when it's alone, right? To rectify it, it would have to be: "both arms WERE around her back now, circling her into a loose embrace." I think a lot of your sentences could be fixed just by adding a verb into the second clause.
Some sentences could use a little reordering: "It flashed quickly in her mind the things she
I noticed some prose issues while reading and I just wanted to let you know for future reference.
I think you use a lot of semicolons - perhaps too many. Just CTRL+F to find them - there are a lot of them. The semicolon is usually used quite sparingly since it essentially doubles the size of the sentence. However, I think my issue with them is that I don't think they're being used properly. A semicolon is supposed to separate two complete clauses; these clauses share a common idea, but can function independently. An easy way to check for this is to see whether you can replace a semicolon with a period. If you can, then you're using it right.
Eg. "His palm landed against her again; firm and unyielding." That semicolon should be a comma, since firm and unyielding is not a separate clause (no noun or verb).
Eg. "It was joined by his other hand; both arms around her back now, circling her into a loose embrace." The first clause is fine because it's complete. The second clause ("both arms around her back now, circling her into a loose embrace") is not. It doesn't read quite right when it's alone, right? To rectify it, it would have to be: "both arms WERE around her back now, circling her into a loose embrace." I think a lot of your sentences could be fixed just by adding a verb into the second clause.
Some sentences could use a little reordering: "It flashed quickly in her mind the things she
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July 12, 2015 at 12:00 AM
You are fenomenal. This story can start a challenge like Marriage Law fics and Time Travel fics. It could be WWW. This story is just unique. There is no other like it. And every chapter is more intense than the other. I like how you portray Severus - the way he holds back all the time. I like how he finally snapped and fucked her hard the way he wanted and without audiance. I hope every chapter is as intense as this one. And I hope you update more often.
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July 12, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Holy hotness!!! Not sure how old this story is but would love to read more!?
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July 12, 2015 at 12:00 AM
I'm so glad you updated! Thank you. This story is, of course, sexy, but I also love the emotional development of the relationship between Snape and Hermione as well as their perception of each other.
I enjoyed watching Snape's facade crack just that bit, despite how he denied what I guess was Hermione's love for him (I think?). I would also be interested in knowing whether Hermione really was thinking that she loved him. And gosh, everytime they take a step forward, they go at least halfway back. Severus is rather endearingly emotionally constipated...
I will admit that sex during menses is a little squicky for me. Not sure why, since blood is just another bodily fluid, but blood seems just so visceral. I think you had a relatively good balance between mentioning her period and leaving it out when it wasn't necessary to the story. It might have been mentioned a tad more than needed, possibly, but I guess it is rather noticeable - especially to Hermione, who is self-conscious about it.
Looking forward to your next update :) Happy writing!
I enjoyed watching Snape's facade crack just that bit, despite how he denied what I guess was Hermione's love for him (I think?). I would also be interested in knowing whether Hermione really was thinking that she loved him. And gosh, everytime they take a step forward, they go at least halfway back. Severus is rather endearingly emotionally constipated...
I will admit that sex during menses is a little squicky for me. Not sure why, since blood is just another bodily fluid, but blood seems just so visceral. I think you had a relatively good balance between mentioning her period and leaving it out when it wasn't necessary to the story. It might have been mentioned a tad more than needed, possibly, but I guess it is rather noticeable - especially to Hermione, who is self-conscious about it.
Looking forward to your next update :) Happy writing!
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July 12, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Woweee... Someone turn up the air conditioning in here! Intense, well detailed and rather hot. Bet anyone reading this doesn't need those delectable lustipops ;) keep writing please, I'm truly enjoying the burgeoning relationship between them and the way Hermione is learning to love and accept herself too.
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July 11, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Was Severus trying to stop Hermione from saying she loves him? I could see him doing that because he is unable to believe such a thing could be true or doesn't want to admit that their interactions could mean something more. Wonderful chapter and I'm so glad their relationship is improving. Thanks for the email alert to notify of the new chapter, it's very helpful. I look forward to reading more.