I was expecting for more Harrycentric or more Harry/Voldie, not for the story to eventually (coz I know it will when authors decide to insert themselves as kind and funny characters) standup comedy of an SI. They will certainly overtake the story and the plot will be all about their hijinks. Eh, boring. Could be worse tho, could be that author inserts themself as "Fate" or any "goddess." Cue my eyes rolling it might pop.
And, yes, Belinda is certainly author-san.
Wonderfully written. I clicked on it hopigg it was a complete story sadly it isn't but a brilliant one either way
OMG! YOU CAN NOT GET A SORRY GOING THIS GOD AND LEAVE IT AS A CLIFFHANGER! COME ON!!! :-!
What's up with the psychiatrist? Hopefully not too much in the story since oc's are meh. Please do more!
Sorry, I was really enjoying your story up to this chapter - but Harry Potter is about an ENGLISH schoolboy, and is set in the England of the 1980's and 1990's. If you were going to deliberately alter this (there are stories on this site that do that, and do it well), you ought to have made that clear, but since you didn't, I can only assume that you intended following canon in your fic; and that's where the problem (for me) lies ... There were no armed police wandering the streets in those days (or these, in fact). I can say this with complete certainty, having lived here my entire life (they even filmed the suburban Knight Bus scenes near to where I grew up).
Even though England has changed a little over the decades, our regular uniformed police don't carry guns, and certainly not on what would be a routine street patrol. Our very few armed response teams have incredibly strict regulations to follow. The mere idea of an English policeman brandishing a gun anywhere near a group of teens, however rowdy, is totally ludicrous. The media would crucify anyone who was in any way involved in such a thing ...
I was really looking forward to seeing how you were going to develop 'Fallen, until I got to the gun part ... after that, no way could I take any of the rest of this chapter seriously, in fact I'll be honest and say that I'm disappointed enough to probably give up on this story-thread entirely.
When writing Harry along the same lines as JKR's original books this sort of Americanism is unforgiveable: it totally spoils any credibility your treatment of the character might have achieved, by flaunting to your reader that you have set 'pen to paper' without first checking your facts.
Sorry - I did think your fic had quite a lot of merit until then ...
'Purr
Anyway I liked it and good luck on the rest I will be waiting :D
And I'm not kidding when I say I like the story. Please continue writing!