AFF Fiction Portal
person Kyriss
schedule January 24, 2013 at 12:00 AM
2nd line Pep-up= pepper up & acquire means to obtain or get. I believe you meant require which means needs. Also toward the end you use the the word 'desecrate' which means to foul, taint or ruin when I believe you meant 'discrete' meaning to keep information/deeds quiet or not flaunt publicly.

This is an interesting story so far. Please keep going!
person neverliveindoubt
schedule January 24, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Congratulations on the one hundred reviews, and I cannot wait for the next chapter (beta-ed) or not.
schedule January 24, 2013 at 12:00 AM
i only spotted 2 typos but there may be more... I'm a craptastic speller. eh in place of ge and slime in place of slim. pretty good effort i think.
person GoddessonmyKnees
schedule January 20, 2013 at 12:00 AM
I love this story. I hope you are still writing this version.

Can't wait for more.
person DB1
schedule November 13, 2012 at 12:00 AM
@7. Really like this. Please update

DB
person emma elizabeth pressnell
schedule November 9, 2012 at 12:00 AM
wow i love this story and the plot, its just brillant !!!!!
schedule November 8, 2012 at 12:00 AM
great first chap
schedule November 8, 2012 at 12:00 AM
this is really great cant wait to see more look forward to the next chapter
schedule November 8, 2012 at 12:00 AM
this chap made me angry but it was also sad hope harry will be alright
schedule November 8, 2012 at 12:00 AM
this brought tears to my eyes it didn't help that i was listening to a sweet soppy song