rate_review Reviews

I think I've held off on reviewing until now. But essentially you've been stringing us along painstakingly slowly- and this chapter is a rub in the faces of your readers. Here we're expecting progression and you're giving us canon fodder that we already know. With a line or two here and there of Hermione's reaction. So basically this whole chapter was like one paragraph of your work- which up til this point has actually been thoroughly captivating- and the other 95% slight paraphrasing of EVERYTHING WE ALREADY KNOW.

I can't speak for the rest of the readers, but this chapter is just sort of like an insult. Either you're lazy and don't want to come up with new material, which is sort of a slap in the face to those of us that check the progress of this story. Or you're presuming we're stupid and don't know the background- which is essentially still a slap in the face.

What you stretched out over a chapter could have been summed up in a paragraph-- Hermione viewing his memories, and waves of emotion flowing through her, pity, desperation to comfort, loathing for lily, dumbledore, etc. Every good writer knows how to properly balance 'show' and 'tell.' And this was a case for the story's progression's sake where we should have had 'tell' and we got stuck with 'show.'

I'm not discrediting your work, as it's been a finely woven story- but throwing this in as a chapter- without more substance to it- or another chapter to immediately follow- just seems pointless, repetitive and feels a little like a slap in the face.

Here's to hoping the next chapter has substance pertaining to the current goings on; or if it's all memory like this mess that you also actually include more of what's going on in the story than you do of the memories. Your memory work up until this point has been fine- especially what you created- with the girl Mary- that was brilliant and well executed. But you do your readers and yourself no service when you just plop a bunch of canon fodder into your memory sequence and call it a chapter.

We loved reading the memories of things we didn't previously know; things that made Severus of your own style; but I cannot stress enough how utterly disappointing this chapter was. You've been reeling us along and we're expecting the next big piece of the puzzle...

I'm hoping that you will seriously reconsider your next chapter if it's more memories of this variety- the canon that we already know.

I am loving this story. It's being well written and the plot is great. I can't wait to read more.

That slimy bastard. I do think he belongs in Azkaban, Lucius that is. I cannot help but wonder how Snape ended up in the hospital unless his elderly neighbor went to check on him and he was non responsive and called the authorities. As always I look forward to your next chapter and perhaps some showing of care on Hermione's part.

I think it is a tad hyporitical for Hermione to be upset with Draco/Lucius for the word "mudblood" after she has called Lily a cow
for being upset with Severus for saying the same thing.....At the time Severus said it he believed in the same things that Lucius did.
And it was worse for Lily , because she was called this by someone she cared for...
Don't get me wrong. I wish Lily could have forgiven him. But I don't think Hermione would have been that harsh with her...She was still Harry's mom.
The same mother who gave up her life to save her child's.....

Great story otherwise

Very interesting developments and now you put my ... I meant OUR darling Severus in a coma. I hope it goes long enough that he will go for an absolute detox and Hermione can use some of the potions to help him. Great chapter, thank you for the quick update... I know I shouldn't get use to it but I do check the site every day just in case!

I, for one, am deeply touched by that...no need to feel insecure

As many times as I've read the book and seen the movie, that can still move me.

this chapter was amazing. I know they were scenes that we already knew about... but they were just the right length and the emotion on how difficult these times were for Severus was so clear and intense. Really really well done.

You got me all misty eyd and wih a breaking heart. Great chapter. Let's move on to the healing please... Thanks for sharing.

First, you did a great job on this chapter and I truly feel for the boy/man you've written. But, the ultimate "happy ending" person in me just went, "Oh no! Poor Hermione. Now, she'll never believe he can reciprocate her feelings when she realizes and admits she has them. What a mess." So, yes, you did a great job and I look forward to the next one, too! Thanks, HG4eva