rate_review Reviews

Interesting so far, I'll keep reading. I like how the story is building slowly. There was a couple little grammer mistakes in this chapter I thought I would point out to you (if you don't want me to in the future just tell me to piss off):

it is 'in' or 'at' a Boarding School not 'on a boarding school'

you said "for the third time during not even three minutes." You should say: 'During the last three minutes he sighed three times' or 'He sighed for the third time, in less than three minutes' or 'He sighed for the third time, it hadn't even been three minutes'

you said "it definitely was one of such times" you do not need the 'of' or the 's' on time it should read: 'it definitely was one such time'

you said "go under your skin" this is fine, the turn of phrase is 'get under your skin'

You also had a couple sentences that were a bit confusing because of comma usage but I am also not very good with commas so I am not going to try and help with that.

Keep up the good work!

I'm glad that you had this going slowly, and I also like it that you had both, Severus and Harry, being unsure about the entire thing, but I also like it how you have handled their different unsureness
loved the chapter again very much

absolutly grat story, evil, great chapter
your story is not just about sex but has a plot behind it, and information, I just love it
Gryffindor!

Great chapter. I am very impressed with your descriptions of BDSM relationship. It is very well written and it really explains that it IS consensual and safe and sane. I hope Harry will gather the strength to tell Severus his past and fears. And I loved the hug at the end of the chapter. Thank you for the update!

great story so far, it's interesting to see hwo their thoughts for each other begin to change, how snape makes harry actually -think- about what it is he wants. though i can tell by your writing style that english isn't your first language, you've done very well with it overall and, though repetitive at some points, everything is mostly very clear. keep up the good work, i look forward to seeing how snape deals with harry's numerous issues and how harry begins to develop

personally i think harry would find out about sex from the creevey brothers. the way i see it is almost everyone goes home after the yule ball an the creevey brothers see how down harry is about everyone being against him as a cheater to get into the tri-wizard championship. so the creevey brothers try to lift harry's spirits the best way they know how an that would be sex. they sneak into harry's room christmas morning and they each give him a morning blow job. now with harry being asleep when they start harry thinks it to be nothing more then a great dream an by the time he figures out it is not a dream he is so close to blowing his load he could care less who's lips are sucking him off. an after getting 2 blow jobs back to back harry really does not care about anything at all so when the creevey brothers suggest to harry that he fuck them both in the ass he figure hell why not an ass is an ass so if i would consider doing so to a girl if they asked then why not a boy after all an ass is an ass.

i like that snape is taking it slow. As messed up as har is he needs someone to go at a snails pace with him. The fact that snape was a spy and is able to read a lot form non verbal cues says a lot as well. This chappie flowed pretty smoothly. Kudos.

You haven't centered your break line in this chapter, dear evil *lol*
The chapter however is as good as I remember it, keep up with getting the chapters online, you haven't updated one of your other two stories :) ...
love it - and still Slytherin, never mind your house cup standing here or not

I'm still not sure if Severus realized what he had said himself, with his ancient "vow", because if he realized, then some things that are about to come should be more clear to him than they actually are, or will be
just remembered it again while reading that chapter, and it's been great again
please, please, update sooner than that - you HAVE them already after all, you just need to get them online!
your loyal Gryffindor

Wow! I just read these 5 chapters and i'm really impresse
This story is great and i hope you'll update often ;) and you won't grew tired of this story, as far as i can see, it will be a very long one...
So english is not your first language- it isn't mine either and i hope you understand my terrible english