rate_review Reviews

*giggles* awww. cute story. would be great if you could go back and edit it, it has a lot of spelling/grammar/word choice errors that the reader has to work around, but the plot and the story were well done. nice work :)

While the story has promise, there are issues that make it hard to read. The first sentence alone took me several minutes to read then figure out what you were going for since the 'though' in it was the issue. While the plotline is a good one, something that could easily do with a fleshing out to make it a chapter fic, the issues with punctuation and flow are something you might need an assist in to work with. A good beta is something that could help you fix it up since it would make a wonderful chapter fic.