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June 14, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Ahhh its asome!!! i like the idea and how you are developing it, please update soon!! :-)
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June 8, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Can't wait for the next chapter. I really like the story so far and I can't wait to get to all the really yummy sections.
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June 8, 2012 at 12:00 AM
I like all 3 chapters! I can't wait for more!
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June 7, 2012 at 12:00 AM
You asked for constructive critism at the beginning on this story and what I'm about to write is intended as such. However, it's an issue I'm sensitive about and so if I come off a little harsh or flamie, I apologise in advance.
So, third chapter, we see Harry hurt himself with a shard of glass. Fair enough, he's gone through a lot and he's in the sort of mental state that can lead to self-harm. What I take issue with is that you're directly linking his self-harm to his kink. Really? You're putting a serious mental condition on par with how someone gets their jollies on? I know you don't realise how utterly offensive that is (or at least I hope you don't) to both self-harmers and submissives. I know you said that you're basically taking a fanfiction look at submission but maybe add a similar disclaimer about the self-harm as well, or even better do a little research on self-harm and ammend that bit.
You probably won't and you'll probably disregard this review as a flame. Like I said, I never intended it to be. You have a good writing style, no spelling or grammer mistakes that I noticed, and the plot of your story is overall interesting. You are doing a good job, you just need to be a little cautious when dealing with sensitive issues.
So, third chapter, we see Harry hurt himself with a shard of glass. Fair enough, he's gone through a lot and he's in the sort of mental state that can lead to self-harm. What I take issue with is that you're directly linking his self-harm to his kink. Really? You're putting a serious mental condition on par with how someone gets their jollies on? I know you don't realise how utterly offensive that is (or at least I hope you don't) to both self-harmers and submissives. I know you said that you're basically taking a fanfiction look at submission but maybe add a similar disclaimer about the self-harm as well, or even better do a little research on self-harm and ammend that bit.
You probably won't and you'll probably disregard this review as a flame. Like I said, I never intended it to be. You have a good writing style, no spelling or grammer mistakes that I noticed, and the plot of your story is overall interesting. You are doing a good job, you just need to be a little cautious when dealing with sensitive issues.
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June 7, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Ah, thank you, thank you, thank you so much for updating!
Oh, and sorry for not reviewing last chapter!
I really like this story, and how Harry is slowly discovering who (or maybe rather what) he is.
And probably the best thing with the whole third chapter I think was Snape's reaction when he noticed the cut. Just straight out healing it and then ordering him not to do it anymore! :) Hopefully that will show Harry that there is a differense between just harming yourself for no good reason at all and masochism. I really hope (and believe that is the point of this story) that Harry will realise this and then go to Snape and let him just help him deal with all thise emotions he's going through now.
Anyway, great story, great chapter, and please keep going! :)
Oh, and sorry for not reviewing last chapter!
I really like this story, and how Harry is slowly discovering who (or maybe rather what) he is.
And probably the best thing with the whole third chapter I think was Snape's reaction when he noticed the cut. Just straight out healing it and then ordering him not to do it anymore! :) Hopefully that will show Harry that there is a differense between just harming yourself for no good reason at all and masochism. I really hope (and believe that is the point of this story) that Harry will realise this and then go to Snape and let him just help him deal with all thise emotions he's going through now.
Anyway, great story, great chapter, and please keep going! :)
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June 7, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Need. Next chapter. Now! lol
I like that Snape could see right through him.
I have to wonder... Was what happened to Ginny related to his nightmare or was it really Death eaters, etc?
I like that Snape could see right through him.
I have to wonder... Was what happened to Ginny related to his nightmare or was it really Death eaters, etc?
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June 7, 2012 at 12:00 AM
I like your story as it has great potential and I am looking forward to reading more... There isn't alot of stories with this type of plot and I found that I needed to read a different type of story from what I was reading and I happened to come across your story... So thank you for that and I hope you will continue with the story in the future.
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June 7, 2012 at 12:00 AM
FAN!~
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May 21, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Absolutely love this so far. Sub!Harry is my FAVORITE, especially when paired with Severus! (and Draco, and Lucius, and.. ;D) Can't wait for the next update. Thanks for sharing this!
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May 21, 2012 at 12:00 AM
This is going to be mean, but YES GINNY IS DEAD!! Sorry I don't like Ginny. Great story