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May 12, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Probably it's just me, but I think it's somehow funny, how even your short version of sadismus/masochismus demonstates the domance of the Dom over the sub. I don't know, if it was intended, but "D/s" somehow emphases the dominance of the D over the small s. But I am probably just interpreting too much :)
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May 12, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Angel of the darkness somehow fitting...but not the perfect description
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May 9, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Hmm...it's weird, but it somehow makes sense that Harry would be a sub and a maso...
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May 8, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Wonderful story. It feels so real. Please update soon.
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May 4, 2013 at 12:00 AM
I reaaally hope you're still working on this!
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May 2, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Okay. I had to tell you this. Last night, I had a dream that Harry and Snape were in their relationship and that Harry begged to get fucked by Snape and got his wish. Then my alarm went off. T___T
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May 1, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Hooray! I just spotted that you have new chapters since my last review. I have so much feedback that I hardly know where to start.
First, I actually took a bit of time to research belladonna in terms of how it was used through history(flying ointment, poisons, eye drops)as well as scientifically/medically (twilight sleep) and between the berries being described as pleasant tasting and sweet as well as the intentional uses the plant was given, I feel that you did brilliantly with the toxic gas, weaving fact into the magical fantasy world you are working from.
I am also quite happy with the way you have handled the story so far, and seeing my review responded to in an AN made me sqwee just a bit. However you also asked what I could share about submission and other topics covered in your fic. the very best thing I can recommend to feel it out is to dip your toe in the water. Though Harry as you have him as well as Severus represent a much more extreme end of D/s then I would go in for, when I first realized whatIi was curios about i read loads, both fanfic and non fic explanations, but my best understanding did not actually come till I worked up the nerve to try a bit of dominating and a bit of submitting. An evening with someone you trust and fuzzy hand cuffs, with clear rules can be extraordinarily helpful, even if you ultimately decide that you would rather read it then do it.
Psychology can be useful, however it is not unheard of for psycologist to decide they are smarter than we are and find the teeniest tiniest evidence in any case study to reinforce their personal conclusions. Remember that Freud got paid a very large amount of money to tell the world that everyone has sexual urges for their parents and that Dr. Spock had never actually raise a child when he told everyone that we were doing it wrong, and if you have ever dealt with a child raise as he wanted you may also find his lack of experience shows. Close to home, in first grade I had a psychologist decide that she knew better than my mom or me, and that I had to have been molested by my stepfather and the woman would not let up for anything. For the record, though he may not be a saint, my stepfather NEVER would have done such a thing to me, but I finally got so fed up with the badgering that I told her what she wanted to hear and explained it to my mother after we left the office, but not before poor mom had the scare of her life. Always seek conflicting psychological views on a topic, and keep in mind that it's a science of probability, rather than solid inflexible fact.
Check fetish web sites for what people who live the life say for a wider perspective. Though pornography is a presentation of fantasy with actors playing roles and editing for moments that won't be as fun on film, actors will also do "making of" segments, and you are also writing a fan fiction set in a fantasy world with magic and unicorns. If your work includes a bit more eroticism than realism, most readers will let it slide. Also bear in mind that many(though by no means all) erotic M/M fictions(fan or original) are written by women with very dirty minds who do not have penises or prostates to fact check with, though can still present work that gay men can also enjoy. If you feel you are offering something you like, as well as showing the initiative to ask questions and research, then you should do just fine in the long run.
First, I actually took a bit of time to research belladonna in terms of how it was used through history(flying ointment, poisons, eye drops)as well as scientifically/medically (twilight sleep) and between the berries being described as pleasant tasting and sweet as well as the intentional uses the plant was given, I feel that you did brilliantly with the toxic gas, weaving fact into the magical fantasy world you are working from.
I am also quite happy with the way you have handled the story so far, and seeing my review responded to in an AN made me sqwee just a bit. However you also asked what I could share about submission and other topics covered in your fic. the very best thing I can recommend to feel it out is to dip your toe in the water. Though Harry as you have him as well as Severus represent a much more extreme end of D/s then I would go in for, when I first realized whatIi was curios about i read loads, both fanfic and non fic explanations, but my best understanding did not actually come till I worked up the nerve to try a bit of dominating and a bit of submitting. An evening with someone you trust and fuzzy hand cuffs, with clear rules can be extraordinarily helpful, even if you ultimately decide that you would rather read it then do it.
Psychology can be useful, however it is not unheard of for psycologist to decide they are smarter than we are and find the teeniest tiniest evidence in any case study to reinforce their personal conclusions. Remember that Freud got paid a very large amount of money to tell the world that everyone has sexual urges for their parents and that Dr. Spock had never actually raise a child when he told everyone that we were doing it wrong, and if you have ever dealt with a child raise as he wanted you may also find his lack of experience shows. Close to home, in first grade I had a psychologist decide that she knew better than my mom or me, and that I had to have been molested by my stepfather and the woman would not let up for anything. For the record, though he may not be a saint, my stepfather NEVER would have done such a thing to me, but I finally got so fed up with the badgering that I told her what she wanted to hear and explained it to my mother after we left the office, but not before poor mom had the scare of her life. Always seek conflicting psychological views on a topic, and keep in mind that it's a science of probability, rather than solid inflexible fact.
Check fetish web sites for what people who live the life say for a wider perspective. Though pornography is a presentation of fantasy with actors playing roles and editing for moments that won't be as fun on film, actors will also do "making of" segments, and you are also writing a fan fiction set in a fantasy world with magic and unicorns. If your work includes a bit more eroticism than realism, most readers will let it slide. Also bear in mind that many(though by no means all) erotic M/M fictions(fan or original) are written by women with very dirty minds who do not have penises or prostates to fact check with, though can still present work that gay men can also enjoy. If you feel you are offering something you like, as well as showing the initiative to ask questions and research, then you should do just fine in the long run.
schedule
April 30, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Ooh! I asked for more and here it is!
Really enjoying this.
It's interesting reading the comments about masochism/self-harm etc. At one level, it's good to discuss; but also, your story isn't a polemic about the D/s lifestyle, it's a story about particular people with particular needs , in particular relationships, that may or may not be well-described by these terms. I guess this is part of being an adult fan fiction: the reader may be expected to be intelligent and critical, accepting that the views of the characters will be from individual points-of-view, not from a psychology textbook.
OK, enough soap-box. Loved it. Please keep going.
Really enjoying this.
It's interesting reading the comments about masochism/self-harm etc. At one level, it's good to discuss; but also, your story isn't a polemic about the D/s lifestyle, it's a story about particular people with particular needs , in particular relationships, that may or may not be well-described by these terms. I guess this is part of being an adult fan fiction: the reader may be expected to be intelligent and critical, accepting that the views of the characters will be from individual points-of-view, not from a psychology textbook.
OK, enough soap-box. Loved it. Please keep going.
schedule
April 30, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Hooray for updates! Question, Harry pulls on his hair sometimes, is that not considered hurting himself, or is Severus only concerned with big hurts like cutting and not eating?
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April 30, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Wish I could have posted this earlier, but that was epic. I was at school reading an earlier chapter of this and thought to myself that I should check the status of some of my favorite stories and BOOM chapter 8 of this was up. <3 Made my day.