schedule
February 25, 2012 at 12:00 AM
*snnnrks* I still like the idea. Vengeance is necessary at all times, of course. XD
When it comes down to humour, though, you need to work on your timing/sentence structure. Often, I see the joke that you're trying to make, but it falls flat due to the way you word it. And often you take too long to deliver the punchline and you hide the punchline in a huge amount of text.
Here, it works well:
When you have F!T singing and Lady Miya suddenly disappeared because needed to go to the loo so badly (which let's face it, everyone would be wise to do. *winks*).
Short and to-the-point, and in character. We recognise Miya in it.
Here, it takes too long:
"
When it comes down to humour, though, you need to work on your timing/sentence structure. Often, I see the joke that you're trying to make, but it falls flat due to the way you word it. And often you take too long to deliver the punchline and you hide the punchline in a huge amount of text.
Here, it works well:
When you have F!T singing and Lady Miya suddenly disappeared because needed to go to the loo so badly (which let's face it, everyone would be wise to do. *winks*).
Short and to-the-point, and in character. We recognise Miya in it.
Here, it takes too long:
"
schedule
February 25, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Haha, I can't believe we actually got a fanfic about ourself. Does it mean we have fans?! XD
I'm not sure I got the jokes all of the time, but for your first thing, it was okay :) Much better than the thing I wrote the first time I started writing (don't even bother looking for it, I never published it on FF, so despite that you could understand Swedish, it won't be there!) so keep writing, writing and writing :D
Mehe at the torture-scene, though :) *Runs away from Nerys who tries to send the dogs on me*
I'm not sure I got the jokes all of the time, but for your first thing, it was okay :) Much better than the thing I wrote the first time I started writing (don't even bother looking for it, I never published it on FF, so despite that you could understand Swedish, it won't be there!) so keep writing, writing and writing :D
Mehe at the torture-scene, though :) *Runs away from Nerys who tries to send the dogs on me*