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April 14, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Just finished reading the 12 chapters you have posted so far in this story. Wow! Got another fan here. Totally fascinated with the magical old ways & the Stewards. A potion for each person who could interfere with Snape's guardianship of Harry. Brilliant! Even better he has neutered Voldie & Dumbldore's manipulations. I did so like how you wrote Minevra's HoH neglect too. I am impressed with how you have written Snape grooming Harry. Its been an enthralling read & I hope that more of this is forthcoming. Thankyou.
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April 13, 2013 at 12:00 AM
I really like the story. I've never seen anything like it itsvery original. I just wanted to let you know that chapter 10 is really difficult to read because of the formatting.
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March 31, 2013 at 12:00 AM
just wondering if your could add me to list for updates please! thanks
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March 31, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Cool story! Look forward to the next Update.
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March 24, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Feed the hungry hungry author with reviews. I'm so glad you updated :)
I'm loving this story, I love a little plot with my smut and you're giving a lot of plot but I'm liking it :) interesting concept though I can't say I'd be unhappy if it was just Snape torturing Harry sexually for the rest of the story lol. I hope there's more information on the Old Ones and their ways, I find myself a little lost I hope I'm meant to be and it all becomes clearer in time.
Can't wait for more :)
I'm loving this story, I love a little plot with my smut and you're giving a lot of plot but I'm liking it :) interesting concept though I can't say I'd be unhappy if it was just Snape torturing Harry sexually for the rest of the story lol. I hope there's more information on the Old Ones and their ways, I find myself a little lost I hope I'm meant to be and it all becomes clearer in time.
Can't wait for more :)
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March 19, 2013 at 12:00 AM
So freaking HOT!!!! I loved...well everything about this chapter. I am soooooo happy that you are updating again. Love it! Man I mind is still blown by the sheer sexiness of those two that I can't even review correctly. lol. Thanks for blowing my mind! Till the next chapter ;-)
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March 18, 2013 at 12:00 AM
First of all, the premise for this is quite good. There just aren't many stories out here dealing with this subject that have it in more than one chapter. For that, I applaud you. However, in doing a quick read-through of the thing, I've noticed a couple problems I'd like to point out.
The first thing that became readily apparent to me is that you have very little knowledge of the human body, specifically the intestinal tract, and what can/can't be done with it. Now, even taking into consideration that these are wizards we're dealing with, the reality is they are human and would be subject to the same laws of nature when it comes to the digestive system as muggles, thus things functioning the same. Keeping that in mind, there is no possible way to have them doing some of the things you are.
One of the first things I noticed was the 'holding' of the water for extended periods of time. This isn't possible at all. If you tried, the water would absorb itself into the body through the walls of the large intestine. Considering the volume of water your talking here, Harry would probably then die from what is called water intoxication. Yes, that is very real. Just a few years ago a woman died in a very public way from such a thing during a contest to win a video game console during a radio show. The human body can only absorb so much water before it becomes imbalanced, throwing everything off, then causing death. A link to explain that is here; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Water_intoxication Though you don't have him drinking it, the result can be the same as the large intestine can absorb water just as easily as one can drink it.
The second thing is the use of the 'butt plug' for hours on end. Unlike with females, the rectum has no natural lubricants. Thus, anything used has to be lubricated and that lubricant doesn't last for hours on end or overnight. If you tried, the pain you would be in when things were removed would be something you wouldn't want to deal with. It would be agonizing.
These are just two issues with the story and the 'realism' of it. There are other things you're mentioned as well that throw the whole thing off in making it believable. While, on the face, it does sound good, the suspension of belief on what's done rather dims the enjoyment for anyone that has more than a little passing knowledge of the intestinal tract. Just a little research, or asking for help in places like the forum, would make this story so much better, and believable.
Just my thoughts on the matter...
The first thing that became readily apparent to me is that you have very little knowledge of the human body, specifically the intestinal tract, and what can/can't be done with it. Now, even taking into consideration that these are wizards we're dealing with, the reality is they are human and would be subject to the same laws of nature when it comes to the digestive system as muggles, thus things functioning the same. Keeping that in mind, there is no possible way to have them doing some of the things you are.
One of the first things I noticed was the 'holding' of the water for extended periods of time. This isn't possible at all. If you tried, the water would absorb itself into the body through the walls of the large intestine. Considering the volume of water your talking here, Harry would probably then die from what is called water intoxication. Yes, that is very real. Just a few years ago a woman died in a very public way from such a thing during a contest to win a video game console during a radio show. The human body can only absorb so much water before it becomes imbalanced, throwing everything off, then causing death. A link to explain that is here; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Water_intoxication Though you don't have him drinking it, the result can be the same as the large intestine can absorb water just as easily as one can drink it.
The second thing is the use of the 'butt plug' for hours on end. Unlike with females, the rectum has no natural lubricants. Thus, anything used has to be lubricated and that lubricant doesn't last for hours on end or overnight. If you tried, the pain you would be in when things were removed would be something you wouldn't want to deal with. It would be agonizing.
These are just two issues with the story and the 'realism' of it. There are other things you're mentioned as well that throw the whole thing off in making it believable. While, on the face, it does sound good, the suspension of belief on what's done rather dims the enjoyment for anyone that has more than a little passing knowledge of the intestinal tract. Just a little research, or asking for help in places like the forum, would make this story so much better, and believable.
Just my thoughts on the matter...
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March 17, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Re-read the first few chapters and on into the last few...all very good. Story getting more of a plot as it goes and also tells some home truths about McGonagle not paying attention & what the result is. Another example is Harry's questioning which is worse a few bad words/comments or betrayal. The sex isn't shabby either!!
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March 17, 2013 at 12:00 AM
snape care
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March 17, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Very, very nice.