rate_review Reviews

Kudos to you for taking on this project. It's nice to see someone announce they are going to continue the story and then actually follow through. :) It looks like a good start so far. The only thing that jumped out at me as needing "fixed" is in the latter half of the chapter, Severus keeps referring to Evans in his thoughts, like Evans is his last name. His fake name is Evan Harris, so it seems to me that Severus would have been thinking of him as "Harris" instead. I might have misread that though, so please don't be offended if I misunderstood. Keep up the good work!

You've made a good start on your own, can't wait to see how it goes. Poor Severus lol Ah who am I kidding I loved that part lol.

Is there a way to add an author alert at all?

i have just finished reading all of this darling story. i look forward to where you go with this. one thing that has botered me is that we never knew what Tom bought from the sex shop. While it could have been just more lube i allways thought that this could have been made into one smashing good scene. Wile i might become sad that your chapters are not as longs as the previous authors i am most happy that you will continue with this story i have grown to love and adore. as always looking forward to more.

I am so glad you have picked this story up! I loved it very much when it was on FFnet. I understand that the writing styles, and opions opr point of veiws of the characters and such will be different than the original authors, but so far I am impressed and relieved that a talented author has picked up this interesting story. So far you have done extremely well, and I am looking forward to finding out where you will take this story. I can't wait until the next chapter!

Hey! I`m really glad someone has finally taken up this story! And while you have been quite clear about not being Aya I feel compeled to point out some things you could change to be consistant with her work. First of all, Voldemort doesn`t ramble, nor does he always go into great detail when explaining his plans, nor does he think aloud. He hates not being the number one in anything yet during his and Harry`s talk he said "you`re right", "that`s a good idea" and so on, at least half a dozen times. And when Harry says

Interesting so far. Its taken me a few days, because I had to read the first one, and so far the writing style is close enough to not notice a major switch between chapters 25 and 26. I will say I had a good laugh at poor Sev's reaction to seeing Vold and 'Evan' kiss. I still can't stop chuckling (added with the fact my mind creates images from what I read like I'm watching a movie, its even more priceless). I am anxious to see 1.) who Hermionie is related to, 2.) the reaction when the D'Eaters find out that 'Evan Harris' is Harry Potter, 3.) Draco's reaction to Harry's relationship, and 4.) this conversation between Barty and Harry. I anxiously await the next chapter ^.^

Leania

I love this story so much!

Voldemort/Tom Riddle Jr are both two of my favourite charactors! I love Tom Riddle Jr so much! He's so hot and dreamy!

Cant wait for more!

I'm very glad you have picked up this story in order to continue from where Aya left off. It is given that all authors have their own style so I think you should write in the way you feel most comfortable with lest you get fed up with this fic :P
Severus might be incredulous about someone wanting to be with a dark lord who looks like a snake but in the end a long term relationship is less about looks and more about personality. I think no one can argue that the dark lord is very intelligent, cunning and captivating but I guess he's never tried wooing the potions master XD

Apart from one or two either long or slightly confusing sentences, this was a solid update. My only real criticism is that initially it seemed like lucius did not approve of the dark lords relationship which didn't coincide with the little bit from his pov in aya's chapter. Other than that really really good and can't wait to see what else you do with this. Oh and btw I didn't find too much difference between your writing style and aya's, neither of your styles are flowery, over descriptive or complicated. Simple, easy to read yet still somehow gripping.

Me again... Btw I would really recommend getting a second beta. I don't know if your beta is a big fan of this fic but I think you need someone like that. Someone who can point out the little details to you that you in the effort of actually writing forget about. I do that when I get in the flow I forget details then remember them when I read over. You could talk to this person prior to writing chapters not about any significant plot things but they might be able to point some things out if you give them a general idea.

After my first review I read the others to see what they said. The hallows bit was another awkward moment, again it seemed like you remembered half way through, I forgot to mention that one in my earlier review. Oh and while I remember it's a good idea to make barty the duelling instructor but remember aya said he also had little patience with them that was why rowle had the job. Have him complain or whine because he's still slightly childlike from his stay in azkaban and has a more equal relationship with Harry/Evan. Also remember to put int the little details like sitting on the floor, I don't see Harry doing it now that he's a lord where other death eaters can just come in but in their private wing it's fine. Toms more affectionate too, the pet names, always touching and watching Harry with fondness or pride, lust. I'm not trying to nitpick but it's the little bits like that that people notice the most because they have an emotional impact on them.

You'll think I'm an idiot but Ian mckellen in an interview for lord of the rings the fellowship of the rings told Sean astin who played the hobbit Sam that when he went in the hospital room where frodo was to take his hand and hold it. A little thing but important, like earlier in the same film one of the characters said a shortcut to mushrooms which was an original chapter title from the first book. It's like the first two hp books making references to snapes occlumency. Stuff like that is what gets people, the little clues in the mystery or the romantic quirks of a couple.

That's why I'd recommend getting someone who knows the story inside outta offer advice, they'll help to point out little things like that and keep the numerous fans who'll read this happy.

Once again great work, can't wait for more. I especially want to know what you do with luna's books, remus' visit to the werewolves and sirius, I hope both of which embrace their links to the dark. I can't wait for bella's reaction to her lords consort and think it would be awesome if Evan was the one who went with her to check on the cup in her vault. Perfect for some throwing of insults and crucios. ^_^ ooh and I don't know if you'd be interested but I'd really like to see some jealousy from Tom, like a newly initiated deatheater or student hitting on Harry/Evan.

Oh and I loved that little hint about the ring possibly being more than a hallow. Lol I'm really intrigued by all these twists you mentioned, I already feel like begging you for updates. ^_^