rate_review Reviews

Nasty of Dumbledore to target Harry with a vision like this. Makes you think what else he has up his sleeve. Harry having picked out a good lawyer for himself before emancipation in advance is a good idea, Dumbledore might be dying but he's not soft in the head yet.

Wonderful chapter :) I love the way Lucius is getting brought in, although I do confess I'm dying for the Lestranges to wake up. Really curious to see Bella, I really like her as a character but I know that hitting on Voldemort is gonna be a quick way to get her Crucio'd too :P

I love this story so much!

Cant wait for more!

that was really really great I hope that you continue really really soon.

I appreciate you taking up where the original left off, however, it seems you have changed a bit of the characters' personalities and relationships. Before, Harry and Tom collaborated together to make a plan, where now you have Tom planning all of it, and Harry asking what the plan was, having now lost some of his intelligence and character strength. I also understand that you cannot adopt the writing style as well as the story, but you are changing POV a lot, and it is usually unclear as to when exactly it is changing, making the chapters, at times, hard to read and understand. In regards to the vision, you seemed to fixate on the possibility of it being real, even when Harry had already dispelled the idea in his thoughts, and then Tom restated this before conversation turned to Dumbledore. As the reader, the fact that the vision was false seemed obvious and did not require hand-holding on your part to make sure I understood it; it seemed in the original chapters that Harry only received emotion from Tom, rather than full out visions once Harry and Tom's soul piece within him 'became one'. On another note, when Tom was using his magic to check who was in the building, you seem to have forgotten all of the Death Eaters and soon-to-be Death Eaters, and the healers taking care of them, who are residing in the Abby after the Azkaban breakout.

Over all, I'm not sure how I feel about these changes. They are beyond simply your writing style, and greatly disrupt the flow of the story.

A couple of points on chapter 29. First, Harry should not be surprised that he is leading the attack on the Dursley's. He and Tom should have talked about it before the meeting, and Harry himself should be comfortable with taking charge of the mission. Also, Lucius does not have to go on Voldemort's word that Harry has switched sides- he already knew this when he, Draco, Snape, and Thor met before the beginning of school to discuss the details of the upcoming year, even if he was dismissed early from the meeting.

as always so happy to see a update. i wonder what Malfoys reaction will be

I really like what you've done with the story so far. The false vision thing is especially interesting, and your integration of book five and the department of mysteries is great. I really can't wait for Severus to discover Harry's identity (now I just need to figure out how to make a smirking emoticon to finish off my review and everything will be perfect!)

You are doing an outstanding job, truly. I especially appreciate how you're taking canon (the extremely painful visions Harry suffers) and molding it for your purposes. It'll be really interesting to see where this story is going.

I am so happy to see an update I really am! I wonder if this can crack the Malfoy mask lol!