rate_review Reviews

This is a cool story. Looking forward to what comes next.s

the story is interesting but you've still got some grammar and spacing issues going one. maybe you're trying to save space or something. I don't know but generally when a new person speaks, you make a new line. it just makes it easier to read, yeah?
good job on identifying whose point of view it is now though. it makes it a lot less confusing.

the idea is interesting but you appear to be suffering a few spacing and grammar problems. A new sentence when a new person speaks, capitals in weird places and stuff like that. Also, some indication of when you're switching from Har to Draco and back again would be good, even if it's just a bit of dotted line before you start the new paragraph for the different person. otherwise it's really confusing.

VERY INTERESTING i LOOK FORWARD TO THE COMING CHAPTERS *s* MORE PLEASE.