rate_review Reviews

I'm very disgruntled. Harry and Severus still hate each other. After thirty four chapters, they have made such miniscule progress that I feel compelled to skip over parts about everyone else's stupid problems and only read about Harry and Severus, just on the off chance that something good could happen--which it seemingly never does. Also, why is Draco still dating Ginny? Why is Ginny still dating Draco? If they want to focus on being with other people, why are they with each other? What in the actual fuck? How is he concentrating on Hermione and his bond with her if he's fucking Ginny? Similarly, how the fuck does Ginny think she's going to feel about the whole situation once she's bonded to Blaise? Do they really think they can have their soulmates AND each other? Because they can't. So. Yes. I'm mad. Because Harry could be dying, Severus and he aren't actually in love, Hermione can't get her shit together, Draco can't get his shit off Ginny, Ginny is deluded if she thinks she can be with Blaise AND Draco, and because in the end, they're all going to have to fight Voldemort and if they keep doing this shit, they're going to lose and honestly, I can't say I'd even feel bad for them because it was their own fucking faults for not doing what Dumbles said and just fucking GETTING ALONG. Oh and are Sirius and Remus fucking yet? Because that makes me mad too. Just...you know, one more thing. So... please write again soon I guess. Though I hope it's something new and not the same old, "I hate you, I don't want to be with you, I'm not ready yet, I think I have time to resist you before I FUCKING GET KILLED."

In chapter 21, I believe you may have accidentally written a gay slur. When Cedric is with his dad and he's feeling troubled, you wrote, And if he claimed to be, did that mean he would be okay if his son decided he was gay or bisexual? I don't think you meant any harm by how you wrote this, but you might want to go back and revise it because a remark like this is offensive to most gay people. The heart of the offense is that no one "decides" to be gay, they're just born that way. Like I said, I'm sure you weren't thinking of offending anyone when you wrote it, but it is a slur and I thought I'd let you know so you could change it as you saw fit. :]

This whole mess is upsetting me a lot. Just.. so you know. -__- I don't know if I can wait for this to get better. I need something good to happen now or I'll die--and CedricxNeville being all hunky-dory does not make up for everything else that's fucked up.

Daphne's not already pregnant, is she? Now that would make for an interesting predicament. Carrying four children may be too much for her body. I cannot think about what else might go wrong unless her body is rejecting it because they were transferred from a male body into a female one.

Just to reassure you, I think this story has been very well written so far. It has been paced well--not too slowly, as some fics are, but not too quickly as most fics tend to be. I also loved the sex scene. I liked that it was mostly sex and not necessarily making love yet. I liked that it was as unexpected for the reader as it must have been for the characters. I think you very accurately convey the feelings of your characters to your readers and that is possibly the most important element of writing. So don't worry too much about you craft--of course you should never stop practicing, but if this is any indication of where you are at the moment, rest assured that you have talent. :]

In this chapter, twelve that is, I loved Severus' thoughts. They were spot on with his character, in my opinion. It made me sad because I want him to have a huge turnaround and blame it on the bond, I want him to love Harry ridiculously...but I think it makes a better story that he hasn't done that and he doesn't love Harry...yet. The only thing I have to say is that when he's thinking, it would help I think for you to use single quotations and to keep his dialogue on the same line of text. When you create a new line, the reader assumes that a new person is speaking and it makes the text harder to follow when they have to stop and recognize that it's the same person. :p Just a suggestion. I was able to follow it though and it was lovely.

Oh man, the sex was so hot in this chapter! [Fifteen, that is] I was so upset by Sirius agreeing to fuck Lucius, but I think that it's a good device to get him onto Remus. Also, I like that for Draco and Hermione, their experience is less like a forced fuck and more like an uncontrollable tantric sexual escapade. I hope that not everyone will be fighting after this because Harry and Snape really have all the anger I can handle right now. I mean, their angry sex is great, but I feel like Severus is raping Harry every time and it just eats at me. Plus, the things they say to each other are just so... so malicious I don't know what I would do if everyone were trying to be so hurtful. Anyway, bravo dearie.

Ok, this is getting ridiculously depressing. I'm not even sure depressing is an adequate word for it because I'm not just sad that people aren't getting along, but I'm really frustrated that everyone is fighting and everything is going to shit and no one will just swallow their fucking pride and learn to be decent to each other. I really had no idea what I was getting myself into when I started reading this. I was expecting the usual Snarry--you know, freaking out at first, but the sex is so magical they have to be together and after awhile they fall in love. I was not expecting hateful sex and malicious arguing. I just... I feel so empty without them being together--as though their broken bond is something broken in me. :[

THERE!??! You stopped there!!!??? You have to write more... like...RIGHT NOW!!! ARRRGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What is it? I wonder what went wrong. Is there any chance she could have already been pregnant? That probably would have messed things up. I can't wait for your next update! I love this story.