schedule
May 18, 2015 at 12:00 AM
pretty good couple of chapters..........when are the next coming please...
schedule
November 27, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Ok, From chapter 1 i was almost ready to stop reading and jump to other story, from this chapter I has to give you a good review, your story start really bad at least for me, I can
schedule
September 4, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Hmm, that was quick. I felt a bit toppled by the inclusion of a past tryst between Harry and Hermione. That seemed to come out of nowhere. I have a hard time believing that an event like that wouldn't have altered Harry's feelings regarding not only Hermione, but Ron and Ginny, as well. I don't see him simply thinking of it as something that happened without any consequences.
Also, you seem to be setting up this idea of Harry being darker, yet he's so far coming off completely normal. Perhaps even too normal, considering what he'd been through. Perhaps this is intentional so that we can start to notice his slow changes, but I wonder now what you have planned with this dark piece of magic that might be infecting him. And what of the rest of the crew? Although, based on your warnings, I would venture to guess that the 'misplaced soul' will inhabit the unborn fetus that might be springing up in Hermione's womb.
Just a grammatical note---when you are addressing someone in the middle of a sentence, it should be preceded by a comma. Think of the sentence in parts, with commas separating add-ons. So, it should follow that you would write:
Also, you seem to be setting up this idea of Harry being darker, yet he's so far coming off completely normal. Perhaps even too normal, considering what he'd been through. Perhaps this is intentional so that we can start to notice his slow changes, but I wonder now what you have planned with this dark piece of magic that might be infecting him. And what of the rest of the crew? Although, based on your warnings, I would venture to guess that the 'misplaced soul' will inhabit the unborn fetus that might be springing up in Hermione's womb.
Just a grammatical note---when you are addressing someone in the middle of a sentence, it should be preceded by a comma. Think of the sentence in parts, with commas separating add-ons. So, it should follow that you would write:
schedule
August 14, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Well, I really enjoyed your last little story, Spiral, so I'm in. The premise is intriguing and you've given us a nice set-up as the opener. You say it's general, but with the warnings, I'm curious to know who's got the misplaced soul. Is it Harry? Or is it Draco? And which of our female characters is going to be the recipient? Hope your first chapter is dense and filled with lots of Harry.
Oh, and I loved this:
Draco turned with a flounce to rival that of Professor Snape
Oh, and I loved this:
Draco turned with a flounce to rival that of Professor Snape