rate_review Reviews

Very interestingso far. But I
feel like I missed something
between chapters 4 and 5

I missed why Ron was in trouble. I'm excited to see where this goes!

Is there a missing chapter between 4 and 5? I like your story. Thanks for writing it.

Cute story, I like the telepathic element. Their banter amuses me.

I really like this story. I can't wait for more updates.

Good story idea, but the writing feels choppy to me. What happened that Ron was punished? You didn't say what happened and if you did (and I simply missed it) you didn't exactly go into enough detail to explain it. I went over the story several times looking for it. I'll do it again. Who knows maybe I missed the event or plot point, but I don't think I did. Next, have you thought about having a beta reader? This isn't to say that you aren't a good or capable writer, but even the best of them have one. Trust me.

Just one correction in grammar--

YOUR--is a possessive (ie, He is YOUR father or That is YOUR tennis racket)
YOU'RE--is a contraction for YOU ARE (ie, YOU'RE going to be late or YOU'RE hopping on one leg)

I hope this clears that up. Great idea, but the writing needs work. Please give serious consideration to the beta reader. Good luck and hope to read more of your story soon.

Ok, I am a bit confused. You jumped from Hermione getting the panther to suddenly staying who knows where and mentioning that Ron got in trouble but we dont know what for.

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Ah...what a great gift! This just gets better and better...thanks for the great story.

Really liking this... keep up the good work :)